Comments on: More On Sexual Values: Questions To Ask Yourself Before Embarking On Sex

By: ph2072

ph2072 — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:34:02 +0000

Sherry said it all for me. Are we related or something?

By: Sherry

Sherry — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 00:33:38 +0000

Oh Natalie, thank you again for such an insightful post!
I have been instilling STD and HIV testing when the guy I’m dating has passed my 90 day warranty and asking him for an STD and HIV test results in writing and I do the same as well and we trade that piece of paper before we have sex. I can tell you, 98% of the time, guys tell me to fly a kite in a rain storm or I’m crazy or I’m a crazy bitch. I’ve heard them all. And as you probably know by now, I didn’t and don’t have much sex *embarrased* but those who does agree and comes through gives me the safety and comfort of trust. Believe me the little sex I have had in most of my adult, single life has been scarce, but it also gives me the peace of mind that I am not carrying any diesease that could harm another human being and I’m clean. My friends have even called me crazy and some admire my boundary and strenght to not give in to something that could be fleeting and harmful to me.

I have so much to loose and so much more to live for. I want to see my child get married, I want to see my grandchildren, I want to travel the rest of the world that I haven’t seen, I want to write a book, so much to live for and no man is worthy enough to catch a dieases or to die for.
Thank you,
Sherry

By: arnell johnson

arnell johnson — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 02:35:41 +0000

You have a very interesting blog, I like it. I really like the video and what you were talking about, we have some of the same ideas and thoughts, maybe one day we can bounce some ideas off each other.

By: Brent Blair

Brent Blair — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 07:01:39 +0000

Honesty is the key! Yes, we might catch feelings even if we don’t expect to. There is nothing that we can do about this, therefore, it is important that we are open and honest. Simple and Plain…

By: NONE

NONE — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:50:40 +0000

I am confused. Are you saying is better to have sex soon at the beggining?

By: NONE

NONE — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:50:00 +0000

the ex asshole way of communicating with his cousins was through jokes. It was almost as nutral as a treatment can be. Not bad not good. But I can tell you, he treats 1000 times better his dog than anybody else in his life. He adores his dog but will never show that attention to his family or me.

By: JJ2

JJ2 — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 00:38:44 +0000

Having sex early is easy. You don’t expect anything, you aren’t hung up on “performance,” you aren’t hung up on your body issues, and it’s relatively smooth. BUT!!!!!! Having sex early boosts your emotional investment to a point you aren’t mentally “at” yet. Your brain and your heart aren’t at the same spot. Down side.

On the other hand, waiting until you know someone better, well, you know them better, and you feel better about your decision to “get to business,” but then when you actually “get down to business,” you have all this anxiety, and hang ups, etc.

Just a comment, use it for what you want.

By: tiffany hall

tiffany hall — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 04:34:08 +0000

Natalie, how do you interpret when someone say “I want to make love to you because I want to show my feelings for you!”. When I heard that remark few years ago, I thought this person must have strong feelings for me so that he wants to get intimate. Now I realized he just want his piece of cake. But it’s really hard to withdraw yourself once you get physical, so ladies don’t fall into this trap!

By: JJ2

JJ2 — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:09:19 +0000

Illusion, I have the same problem. My EUM had a lot of great qualities, volunteered, etc. I miss him. But he treated me like a roommate. He treated his sister better than me.

By: Brad K.

Brad K. — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 02:50:25 +0000

NML – I hope no one overlooks the obvious signs about not actually having a relationship.

That is: Have sex or they will leave. If sex will keep his interest – then he isn’t looking for more than a shag.

There are many things that will cause a guy to leave. Dishonesty, head games, gossip and other forms of disrespect to yourself and others – that is, behavior that is destructive to yourself and all your relationships.

Other than that – failing to do just about anything won’t threaten a healthy relationship. He needs you to pick up his groceries, clean his house, have sex with him or his friends – nope. That is abuse, manipulation, and taking advantage of you and the situation, and has nothing to do with a healthy relationship.

There is a fine line between meeting his demands, and satisfying the one you love. You may be willing, in either case. But respect and expectations are mutual, and constant, not dependent on certain acts or behaviors, when you are with a responsible life-partner. With a loving relationship, you meet your responsibilities because you demand that of yourself, not because he demands it of you.

By: illusion

illusion — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:39:22 +0000

Do I like how he/she treats others?

Yes.
If I look to EUM that i was involved with.. he was really good in being there for his friends making dinner for them, helping them with all kind of problems..
but he never treats me in the same way. That’s why i thought it was all my fault.

I think it is nessesary to say that no matter how he treats others or is he donating money for charity humanity.. it’s about how is he treating YOU.
I dont have contact with this guy for more then 6 months now.. and i thought i was almost over him..and then i found some pictures on internet that he made somewhere in Africa with poor, cute children.. and this broke my heart again.. i was very sad and again so in pain because i could ‘t belive that he can be that sweet and so sensitive.. to others but not to me. That’s really painful realisation.
That’s why NML thank you for opening our eyes! i wich i had some bondaries and own stronger values long time ago.. now i understand what went wrong and i will never ever be with guy and try to make him happy insteed of listening to my own needs, values and boundaries.

By: ph2072

ph2072 — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 19:01:27 +0000

“Don’t have sex if you are rejecting ‘aspects’ of a person because you’re still not accepting the person which makes a dubious ground for sex and a relationship.”

Used to be friends with a woman who was with a man that was not attractive at ALL. She used it against him all the time. Why even bother? She was (and still is, from what has been said through the grapevine) a dumb ass; he left her anyway.

“Do I like how he/she treats others?”

Had a roommate in college who dated this man. He treated his mother like complete and utter s–t. You’d think that she’d see that and make a bolt for it. Nope. He, of course, treated her like complete and utter s–t too.

Those 2 things stood out to me the most about this entry. As always, thanks for the truth.