Penis Ettiquette
January 9, 2006 by NML
Only last week, I wrote about willy size, but I think that the issue of what a guy should be doing to avoid apenile faux-pas needs to be addressed. When we had the Penis Parade in the forum, some of the excuses for penises were a sight to behold and should have been declared out of action. This lesson is about appearance and feel, and smell. Boys, pay attention!
Is there something wrong with it?
Boys, you know what your dick looks like and you should be handling a specimen that won’t make women scream blue murder before you’ve put it anywhere near them. If you have strange looking marks of any kind that could be mistaken for a symptom of a STD/VD, go to the frickin’ doctor. I know you’ve seen what other dick looks like because you all can’t help but check and compare on the sly when you’re in communal changing
rooms or urinals, which means that you know when something isn’t right.
Dicks that have crust, great big gashes, scabs, weird stuff coming out of the head (I daren’t type what stuff in case I heave), all need to have one of those fumigation tents put over them and taken to the doctors.
Give it a bit of TLC
Not the wanking kind, I mean keep it groomed. You guys aren’t too keen when you have to go at a woman with a weed wacker, and guess what, women don’t want to come at you with a weed wacker. If you have time to spank your monkey several times a week, you have time to keep it neat and tidy and moisturised. Willys that have dry skin don’t look very nice, especially brown ones.
Smell
This is a major peeve of mine. Guys are very quick to make noise about female odour, but forget that cheesy dick is not very pleasant, and is in fact, downright disgusting.
If you’re circumcised, skip over this part unless you want a peep into how the other half
live, but if you do have foreskin, pay attention. Washing isn’t just about giving your dick a dip under running water. It involves soap and involves taking the time to make sure that cheese hasn’t gathered under the skin. If you’re not washing at all, shame on you. I take no excuses about not bathing in this day and age. If you have time to hump, you have time to shower. You don’t deserve a blowjob, never mind a shag, if you can’t attend to this basic rule.
Ladies if you have to explain any of these things to your man, I feel afraid for you!
Related Posts
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Comments
Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!