Playing Detective to Catch a Cheat
February 20, 2007 by NML
If you don’t want to or can’t afford to fork out for a detective agency or surveillance equipment, here are some basics to help you on your quest:
1) If you have a friend you can trust, get them to help you. They can keep you sane on the late night shift and they may be able to go into a place where the ’suspects’ are at without attracting suspicion.
2) Keep at a distance! Playing detective relies on you not blowing your cover.
3) If you’re tailing your suspect, borrow someone else’s car. Please! I would hazard a very good guess that your partner knows your license plate number….
4) Do disguise yourself if you can. Don’t go into ridiculous territory with a disguise that beggars belief (think Britney Spears shaving her head bald and then putting on that ridiculous blond wig). Stupid disguises draw attention unless you’re at an amusement park, fancy dress party or it’s Halloween…
5) The classic checking of pockets, wallets, purses and handbags can reveal receipts, numbers and all sorts. However, I really don’t like snoopers. I know a lot of people do it just for the hell of it but it is an invasion of privacy. That said, you’ve gotta do what you need to do if you’re going to gather your proof.
6) Take a pair of knickers/boxers that aren’t your size and place them in the car or in the house. This is not for the faint hearted and only for situations where you’re pretty certain they’ve been stupid enough to have them in the house or car. If they’re cheating, they’ll make up a big story about it. If they aren’t cheating, remind them about that time that that person stayed over at the house…. Risky though!
7) Do not under any circumstance break into your partner’s email. However if they are silly enough to accidentally leave it open on the screen, you could take advantage of the moment. Before you do it though, ask yourself: Would I like someone to do this to me?
Don’t forget to bring a digital camera/camcorder! If you’re really into your role of detective, this is your way of recording your proof. If Cheaters is to be believed, it seems that if you follow your suspect for long enough, they will eventually have a public display of inappropriate affection with whoever they’re cheating with. Capture the evidence. Do remember though:
- Don’t use your flash at night… If your camera is not sophisticated enough for you to avoid it, borrow a digital camcorder or borrow a camera that is sophisticated enough.
- Remove the lens cover!
- Turn the camera on!
9) Do wear dark clothing although you don’t have to stretch to a black jumpsuit and balaclava. Avoid the mac and dodgy wig, and stick with black trousers and top. Do dress appropriately for the place where you are staking out. If you have turned up at black tie function for a quick spy, you’ll draw attention being dressed differently to everyone else.
10) Be careful of nosey neighbours. Whether you’re hanging out in your car staking them out or crawling in the bush trying to catch evidence on camera, you will look like a dick, or at the very least a burglar or peeping Tom if you’re caught by neighbours or God forbid, the po-lice. Always remember to:
- access the territory and adjust your plans accordingly.
- try to blend in.
11. Do not do anything illegal. Nobody, not even that person that gives you the best orgasms you’ve ever had, is worth getting a criminal record or even spending a night in the cells for.
12. Have a very good excuse for if you get caught by your partner!
I really believe that it calls on desperate times when you need to turn your partner into a suspect and stake them out. It’s different strokes for different folks, but always remember that there is a consequence to these things. Trust in relationships is invaluable and this type of behaviour screams lack of trust! Think very, very carefully before you engage in this conduct. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe in snooping and I do believe that if we use gut, judgment and common sense, we can access the situation without having to crawl in bushes, but it’s different strokes for different folks! Good luck!
Also read: Signs That He’s Cheating
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[...] Playing Detective to Catch a Cheat [...]
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