Now his new game is playing music for the ladies and dedicating the songs to them personally.

I was naive… he was my first. Just a heads up: Don’t date a divorced guy unless they’ve been divorced for a very long time and you are 100% sure that they’re over the ex. Also, friends first is a good rule. We started out that way to an extent, but it didn’t stay that way for long. I met him through friends, but it turns out that the friends that introduced me to him and encouraged us to get together didn’t know him well at all, despite growing up around him. He basically used my social circle to get to me, and to this day he only associates with them if he wants to check up on me or reestablish contact.

Bottom line: Make sure you know who you’re dating. What you see initially may not be an accurate portrayal… they are trying to impress you.

I wish I’d known this ahead of time. It would have saved me alot of pain. That kind of experience can change you… and not necessarily in a good way.

Thanks for your response but I am still a bit confused.

There are a considerable amount of men that I have read about on the site that do not profess love to women and they are EUM’s. Why do the select few deem it necessary to to express their love for us, b/c as we know they can blow hot/cold w/o uttering these words?

You asked the question about why do these men profess love and feelings when they don’t need to and the man and woman can keep on having sex and dates without seriousness? I have wondered the same thing myself but the truth is; your inner core and messages that you have about yourself are subconsciously being communicated to this man; if we are emotionally unavailable that puts him into persuit mode on a subconscious level and he can’t help but feel drawn to an emotionally unavailable woman (doesn’t expect, need or want anything) … However, in my opinion the reason why we don’t demand any committment while we are having fun and sex with these men (dating casually) is because either A. we truly don’t want a committment, or B. Don’t think we deserve, or too scared to be honest in what we want because we think we will lose him. So, when woman hear from the man we are having fun with “I want to be with you, I love you, etc… etc… we buy into the B.S. that we truly wanted but were to scared to ask for, or demand while we are being intimate with this man… Then when we buy into the B.S. (because we essentially got into this relationship with low self-esteem, emotionally unavailablity = attracting like minded partner) The man gets thrown off his imbalance when we actually expect him to deliver on what he is telling us… because subconsciously when he is throwing out all the B.S. he knows that we don’t think we deserve what he is saying and that is why he is drawn to say it in the first place… it’s a dance of dysfunction and when you aren’t based on a solid foundation; nothing is going to match up on a healthy emotional level.

So why does he profess love; because he knows that you can’t offer it so he is drawn to the hot and cold aspect just as we are… when we are cold, he is hot, when we are hot, he is cold… it’s because two people aren’t ready or willing to be honest with themselves and eachother and attracted eachother because of that.

if he knows you’re too good for him why does he keep coming back and playing these silly games?????

I will go back to his gloating as to how he treated women in the past. I think that says it all.

Wishing you the best.