Comments on: Recognising Things About Yourself In the Man You Profess to Love Part 2 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:27:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Gina http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-218011 Gina Mon, 23 Feb 2009 10:04:08 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-218011 I had a little bit of Assclown, a little bit of Lier... throw all the little spices in there! I recognized my patterns when it came to dating Men who Lied; yes I didn't want to see the truth and was living not in reality which was from living in an abusive and substance abuse childhood "don't tell, dont feel, don't trust --- etc... sort of msgs" and make pertend everything is alright while you have a sinking feeling in your stomach... which played out in my dating relationships and friendships. As far as the Assclowns --- yeah I liked the excitement and drama and although intellectually I knew I didn't deserve an assclown --- emotionally it was obvious I did... I think the assclowns, lies, etc all blended in with the things I had to heal... and now that I have grown alot in the past year alot has changed. I ended 3 toxic friendship/family and dating relationships that weren't serving my happiness --- and will get recognize and get into a healthy relationship!! I had a little bit of Assclown, a little bit of Lier… throw all the little spices in there! I recognized my patterns when it came to dating Men who Lied; yes I didn’t want to see the truth and was living not in reality which was from living in an abusive and substance abuse childhood “don’t tell, dont feel, don’t trust — etc… sort of msgs” and make pertend everything is alright while you have a sinking feeling in your stomach… which played out in my dating relationships and friendships. As far as the Assclowns — yeah I liked the excitement and drama and although intellectually I knew I didn’t deserve an assclown — emotionally it was obvious I did… I think the assclowns, lies, etc all blended in with the things I had to heal… and now that I have grown alot in the past year alot has changed. I ended 3 toxic friendship/family and dating relationships that weren’t serving my happiness — and will get recognize and get into a healthy relationship!!

]]> By: Aphrogirl http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-211604 Aphrogirl Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:12:53 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-211604 back on Dec 11...nilonder wisely asked... why do you put yourselves through the humiliation of being rejected once more? I can understand pining for them even when they misbehave or obsessing when they are not there… but why keep chasing them? I don’t mean to be rude or hurtful but I genuine want to know here is one story I was once just like you, neve could fathom women who suffered bad treatment, loved all my life by decent men, attractive, happy, popular, great job.... and then when i was 40 an arseclown landed in my life. Ten years later I am starting to see it for what it is...he is just a no good guy, he sort of knows it, he sees no need to wrok on it...hence arseclown is a really good word for these guys He started off by telling me he was a misogynist, of course I did not beleive him, never having known a person who actually had no desire to love and work at respecting others. HAd I ever met a flake before I would have seen this as the first of many red flags. It went on and on from there, he had me fooled by what I believed was a special connection, which I now think is the desired result of their method of operation They tell you how they are depressed, have no friends, how bad they are, how sad their past, ....and they are so busy, so stressed, so taken advantage of... and so then, when they do give, the few crumbs they come up with actually make you feel special,....yes it sounds looney, and all I can say is you can find yourself involved in this scam before you are quite aware what is going on. And I supsect the arseclown is acting out of habit, not really even caring about the damage they do to themselves and others. They are incapable of meaningful giving, of being or staying open, of depth of connection... as soon as you get close, they freak and back off, and then come creeping back for another attempt. Why do we do it? I bet there are all kinds of reasons, but if you are a genuinely nice person, confident, were raised to help others, you may get trappeed by one of the poor pitiful me arseclowns, and worse, think that you can give them the help they are subconsciously seeking ( which is why they are drawn to the genuinely nice people in the first place) And if you are an optimist, and a hard worker, and a happy loving person it will get worse, the more you give the less you will get, and the more you will be left confused and wanting all that is missing But rest assured, arseclowns do not want to do any work on their stuff, that is what makes them a clown, they are just not very good at devloping emotionally, and have no desire to learn. What a great call the word assclown is for them. Such a mess these guys make, but in all fairness I did get addicted to the drama, though why all that drama seemed like love and something special is still a mystery to me. Recently, I started to hoping the clown would come around as a waste of time. And now I am going through withdrawl, this will be OK Think I'll paint a fun picture involving the clown, and an arse, and the words " won't get fooled again, " .... art therapy Happy New Year everyone, thanks for being here. Reading this gives me strength to continue NC, to regain the sane self I knew for forty years before the arseclown was part of my life. We will get by ! back on Dec 11…nilonder wisely asked…

why do you put yourselves through the humiliation of being rejected once more?
I can understand pining for them even when they misbehave or obsessing when they are not there… but why keep chasing them?
I don’t mean to be rude or hurtful but I genuine want to know

here is one story

I was once just like you, neve could fathom women who suffered bad treatment, loved all my life by decent men, attractive, happy, popular, great job…. and then when i was 40 an arseclown landed in my life. Ten years later I am starting to see it for what it is…he is just a no good guy, he sort of knows it, he sees no need to wrok on it…hence arseclown is a really good word for these guys

He started off by telling me he was a misogynist, of course I did not beleive him, never having known a person who actually had no desire to love and work at respecting others. HAd I ever met a flake before I would have seen this as the first of many red flags.

It went on and on from there, he had me fooled by what I believed was a special connection, which I now think is the desired result of their method of operation

They tell you how they are depressed, have no friends, how bad they are, how sad their past, ….and they are so busy, so stressed, so taken advantage of… and so then, when they do give, the few crumbs they come up with actually make you feel special,….yes it sounds looney, and all I can say is you can find yourself involved in this scam before you are quite aware what is going on.

And I supsect the arseclown is acting out of habit, not really even caring about the damage they do to themselves and others.

They are incapable of meaningful giving, of being or staying open, of depth of connection… as soon as you get close, they freak and back off, and then come creeping back for another attempt.

Why do we do it? I bet there are all kinds of reasons, but if you are a genuinely nice person, confident, were raised to help others, you may get trappeed by one of the poor pitiful me arseclowns, and worse, think that you can give them the help they are subconsciously seeking ( which is why they are drawn to the genuinely nice people in the first place)

And if you are an optimist, and a hard worker, and a happy loving person it will get worse, the more you give the less you will get, and the more you will be left confused and wanting all that is missing

But rest assured, arseclowns do not want to do any work on their stuff, that is what makes them a clown, they are just not very good at devloping emotionally, and have no desire to learn.

What a great call the word assclown is for them.

Such a mess these guys make, but in all fairness I did get addicted to the drama, though why all that drama seemed like love and something special is still a mystery to me.

Recently, I started to hoping the clown would come around as a waste of time. And now I am going through withdrawl, this will be OK

Think I’ll paint a fun picture involving the clown, and an arse, and the words ” won’t get fooled again, ” …. art therapy

Happy New Year everyone, thanks for being here. Reading this gives me strength to continue NC, to regain the sane self I knew for forty years before the arseclown was part of my life. We will get by !

]]> By: Kel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-211398 Kel Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:29:15 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-211398 OMG I lived with an asshole/assclown for 5 years, and actually accepted a wal-mart diamond. He beat me then said I deserved it... My best friend interceded, and helped me pack all of my things, clothes cat, and computer, to move 800 miles away from him! He in turn moved an hour from my new place, and TRIED TO RECONCILE only to send me a pic of him shagging another woman on MY BIRTHDAY. I am so glad to be rid of him. I then replaced him with the FLIPFLAPPER, only to be dumped after his YEAR LONG DIVORCE BATTLE became final, and his EXWIFE was the one who intitiated it; he stalled it. Then I dove head first into the MANCHILD...his mom was sick from cancer, and he HATED HER FOR INFRINGING ON HIS TIME so I am at fault for being an OPTIMIST. great. NOT. OMG I lived with an asshole/assclown for 5 years, and actually accepted a wal-mart diamond. He beat me then said I deserved it…
My best friend interceded, and helped me pack all of my things, clothes cat, and computer, to move 800 miles away from him! He in turn moved an hour from my new place, and TRIED TO RECONCILE only to send me a pic of him shagging another woman on MY BIRTHDAY. I am so glad to be rid of him. I then replaced him with the FLIPFLAPPER, only to be dumped after his YEAR LONG DIVORCE BATTLE became final, and his EXWIFE was the one who intitiated it; he stalled it. Then I dove head first into the MANCHILD…his mom was sick from cancer, and he HATED HER FOR INFRINGING ON HIS TIME so I am at fault for being an OPTIMIST. great. NOT.

]]> By: blue_girl http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-211248 blue_girl Tue, 23 Dec 2008 17:54:20 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-211248 hi texas girl i feel like in the same situation as you, having had the doh! moment when i realised what rubbish I was tolerating. The bloke who stood me up last friday came round last week with a big present and was all apologetic. I took the present because it seemed childish not to and then asked him to leave. Since then I have not contacted him at all. He hasnt contacted me either. Its really bloody hard not to think about it though. Especially this time of year. Most of my family and friends are married/loved up/ in relationships. I really feel like a freak because I'm not. It also annoys me that its more acceptable to be in a bad relationship if you are a woman, than to be in no relationship at all. What is getting me through all this is a bit of selfishness. Im just focusing on me and what I want to do for 2009. Im thinking about all the time and energy I will have, and what I want to do and where I want to be. Ths answer is as far away as possible from the sad person who was staying in on a friday waiting for her man who never turned up! So that is my advice, make some plans for 2009 and start to work at making them real before December 31st. That way you will have some great positive things planned out for next year and on NYE you can think about them. hi texas girl i feel like in the same situation as you, having had the doh! moment when i realised what rubbish I was tolerating.
The bloke who stood me up last friday came round last week with a big present and was all apologetic. I took the present because it seemed childish not to and then asked him to leave. Since then I have not contacted him at all. He hasnt contacted me either. Its really bloody hard not to think about it though. Especially this time of year. Most of my family and friends are married/loved up/ in relationships. I really feel like a freak because I’m not. It also annoys me that its more acceptable to be in a bad relationship if you are a woman, than to be in no relationship at all.
What is getting me through all this is a bit of selfishness. Im just focusing on me and what I want to do for 2009. Im thinking about all the time and energy I will have, and what I want to do and where I want to be. Ths answer is as far away as possible from the sad person who was staying in on a friday waiting for her man who never turned up! So that is my advice, make some plans for 2009 and start to work at making them real before December 31st. That way you will have some great positive things planned out for next year and on NYE you can think about them.

]]> By: Texas Girl http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-210747 Texas Girl Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:30:27 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-210747 Oh Yikes! This site is invaluable to me. I realize I choose the Manchild type. It makes me cringe, laugh and squirm all at once. I was thinking, "Oh yes, this one and that one were Manchildren....then I went, "so was 'so and so' and 'so and so'!!" There is a wink wink nod nod thing about "Cougars" in society....and I just assumed that I was a "Cougar". But what I am - is terrified of a "real man" who is more mature, together emotionally, financially, etc. Now. What to do with this information.....hmmm Oh Yikes! This site is invaluable to me. I realize I choose the Manchild type. It makes me cringe, laugh and squirm all at once. I was thinking, “Oh yes, this one and that one were Manchildren….then I went, “so was ‘so and so’ and ‘so and so’!!”

There is a wink wink nod nod thing about “Cougars” in society….and I just assumed that I was a “Cougar”.

But what I am – is terrified of a “real man” who is more mature, together emotionally, financially, etc.

Now. What to do with this information…..hmmm

]]> By: Alika http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209719 Alika Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:17:52 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209719 Dear NJ, I feel for you...You are great person and I understand you perfectly well - you feel in love with this guy thats why you done what you done! You know, what I am afraid of when he recieves his permanent residency, he will divorce you and marry his illegal girlfriend (of 12 years) in order to make her legal in USA... So please think about it too...I can see you are kind-hearted lady, but you must think about yourself first and concentrate on your own life, even it is hard in the beginning!!! I wish you all the best.... NML and ladies, have a lovely Christmas! Dear NJ,

I feel for you…You are great person and I understand you perfectly well – you feel in love with this guy thats why you done what you done!
You know, what I am afraid of when he recieves his permanent residency, he will divorce you and marry his illegal girlfriend (of 12 years) in order to make her legal in USA…
So please think about it too…I can see you are kind-hearted lady, but you must think about yourself first and concentrate on your own life, even it is hard in the beginning!!! I wish you all the best….

NML and ladies, have a lovely Christmas!

]]> By: Nevergoingbackthereagain http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209211 Nevergoingbackthereagain Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:49:54 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209211 Ladies - Im 30!! dont think its anything to do with age!! (hope this makes you feel better!!) Natalie - any chance of a post on how to stay NC over the Christmas Period!!?? for some reason with the holiday coming up Im starting to feel lonely & a bit of a loser if im honest!! - Help!! Ladies – Im 30!! dont think its anything to do with age!! (hope this makes you feel better!!)
Natalie – any chance of a post on how to stay NC over the Christmas Period!!?? for some reason with the holiday coming up Im starting to feel lonely & a bit of a loser if im honest!! – Help!!

]]> By: ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209189 ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum Mon, 15 Dec 2008 06:32:05 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209189 Har har. Gaynor, maybe they wouldn't be so EUM with a woman who was not so close to her sell-by date. Har har. Gaynor, maybe they wouldn’t be so EUM with a woman who was not so close to her sell-by date.

]]> By: Gaynor http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209186 Gaynor Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:57:24 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209186 Are all the women on this site in their mid-forties? Are all the women on this site in their mid-forties?

]]> By: ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209181 ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:17:41 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209181 NJ, I hope we are not overwhelming you. Ladies, lets try not to "pile on" with our advice and concern! I have had my stupid teenage (tho I'm 46) delusional sh!t jumped in this forum and it was just too much for me at that time. I want to wish you the best and I know that just you being here with us means that sooner or not-so-later you will do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You came here because you already knew that you had that strength, and we believe in you. I think it is because we have all been hurt that we are so protective of each other. Take care dear, and let us know of your progress. Seeing each other get better is the best medicine we can offer. NJ, I hope we are not overwhelming you. Ladies, lets try not to “pile on” with our advice and concern! I have had my stupid teenage (tho I’m 46) delusional sh!t jumped in this forum and it was just too much for me at that time. I want to wish you the best and I know that just you being here with us means that sooner or not-so-later you will do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You came here because you already knew that you had that strength, and we believe in you.

I think it is because we have all been hurt that we are so protective of each other.

Take care dear, and let us know of your progress. Seeing each other get better is the best medicine we can offer.

]]> By: ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209180 ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:05:47 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209180 Hi blue_girl, welcome and we salute your bravery and resolve! Hi blue_girl, welcome and we salute your bravery and resolve!

]]> By: blue_girl http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-209142 blue_girl Sun, 14 Dec 2008 22:02:40 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-209142 Only this friday I was sat at home feeling like a complete prick. The nobhead was supposed to be taking me out and didn't show. Well, I was crying but it was because I knew I had let it happen again. The next day I I thought, wouldn't it be great not to be thinking about him. I mean, I lived without him for years, before I met him and I didn't drop dead, in fact life was good! Perhaps it was his final act of nobbishness that made me realize- I actually want to be free from all this shit. When we first met I had just gone through a major break-up of a five year relationship. Then a load of relatives died in a short space of time. I never really gave myself time to get over it all, I just carried on. Talk about easy prey, I must have been like little red riding hood! And the description of the manchild and how I have acted over the past year is so spot-on. Its kind of depressing reading but it has woken me up- I don't want to go on like this and I certainly don't want to blame a man for all my shit. So hurrah! Bring it on! Lets face the future with some honesty! Only this friday I was sat at home feeling like a complete prick. The nobhead was supposed to be taking me out and didn’t show.
Well, I was crying but it was because I knew I had let it happen again.
The next day I I thought, wouldn’t it be great not to be thinking about him. I mean, I lived without him for years, before I met him and I didn’t drop dead, in fact life was good! Perhaps it was his final act of nobbishness that made me realize- I actually want to be free from all this shit. When we first met I had just gone through a major break-up of a five year relationship. Then a load of relatives died in a short space of time. I never really gave myself time to get over it all, I just carried on.
Talk about easy prey, I must have been like little red riding hood!
And the description of the manchild and how I have acted over the past year is so spot-on. Its kind of depressing reading but it has woken me up- I don’t want to go on like this and I certainly don’t want to blame a man for all my shit. So hurrah! Bring it on! Lets face the future with some honesty!

]]> By: Carm http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-208722 Carm Sat, 13 Dec 2008 02:50:24 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-208722 NJ, We are all telling you to take care of your legal situation ASAP, even before addressing your emotional attachment to this guy because there is potential for this guy to take advantage of you further with your credit and finances BIG TIME. You may not care about this aspect now, as you are emotionally hurting now, but chances are you will care later if he starts taking out credit lines and screwing up your life financially. The emotional impact if that happens will be devastating if you do not protect yourself and your boundaries. How did he get to work before you got him a car? How did he survive before he met you? Come on! He will not lose his job. Why do you see it as your resposibility for this man to support his family(ies)? He chose to impregnate these women and it is his and the women's responsibilty to support them. Don't worry, he and his family will not be deported if you divorce him, and you will not "ruin " their lives, they can still remain here illegally. When his kids turn 18 they can petition for their parents to become legal. This guy is not the only illegal immigrant in the US with a family, and their well being is not your responsibility, and they will survive without your assistance. How much do you really know about him? Where there is one lie, there are usually many more. This is why we are so concerned about your situation, because if this guy is capable of what he has done so far, he may be capable of a whole lot more. I think Nikki is 100% right that you are unable to see the forest for the trees at this moment. Please listen to us as we can see this situation maybe more clearly than you can right now. You will not look like the "bad one" if you take everything back and PROTECT yourself. You will look like the smart and sensible one. You did not make any promises to him, just as you say he didn't make any promises to you. Yes, you can still have the marriage annulled. You do not have to admit you married him for legal staus. BTW, did you apply to immigration yet for his green card? What stage are you at in the process? Please, please see a lawyer as soon as you can, and get yourself legally untangled from this guy. NJ, his story touched your heart because that is what sociopaths do, they manipulate people's compassion and and they spot vulnerabilities in people and use them to their advantage. I guarantee you he did not turn into an "ass" until after you married him and got him set up with the car. Please, do some research on the internet about sociopaths. It will help you feel less compassion for him. NJ,

We are all telling you to take care of your legal situation ASAP, even before addressing your emotional attachment to this guy because there is potential for this guy to take advantage of you further with your credit and finances BIG TIME. You may not care about this aspect now, as you are emotionally hurting now, but chances are you will care later if he starts taking out credit lines and screwing up your life financially. The emotional impact if that happens will be devastating if you do not protect yourself and your boundaries.

How did he get to work before you got him a car? How did he survive before he met you? Come on! He will not lose his job. Why do you see it as your resposibility for this man to support his family(ies)? He chose to impregnate these women and it is his and the women’s responsibilty to support them. Don’t worry, he and his family will not be deported if you divorce him, and you will not “ruin ” their lives, they can still remain here illegally. When his kids turn 18 they can petition for their parents to become legal. This guy is not the only illegal immigrant in the US with a family, and their well being is not your responsibility, and they will survive without your assistance.

How much do you really know about him? Where there is one lie, there are usually many more. This is why we are so concerned about your situation, because if this guy is capable of what he has done so far, he may be capable of a whole lot more.

I think Nikki is 100% right that you are unable to see the forest for the trees at this moment. Please listen to us as we can see this situation maybe more clearly than you can right now.

You will not look like the “bad one” if you take everything back and PROTECT yourself. You will look like the smart and sensible one. You did not make any promises to him, just as you say he didn’t make any promises to you.

Yes, you can still have the marriage annulled. You do not have to admit you married him for legal staus. BTW, did you apply to immigration yet for his green card? What stage are you at in the process? Please, please see a lawyer as soon as you can, and get yourself legally untangled from this guy.

NJ, his story touched your heart because that is what sociopaths do, they manipulate people’s compassion and and they spot vulnerabilities in people and use them to their advantage. I guarantee you he did not turn into an “ass” until after you married him and got him set up with the car. Please, do some research on the internet about sociopaths. It will help you feel less compassion for him.

]]> By: Nikki http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-208598 Nikki Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:57:09 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-208598 NJ, I have to agree with everyone else here about this guy. He's using you so bad it's criminal. Matter of fact it is criminal in the US. You're so busy worrying about what he will think about you going back on your word, when you forget to consider the fact that this man has gone back on every word he's spoken to you. You don't owe him or his children, and baby mothers, girlfriends, etc. Anything. Just typing all of that sounds complete upseting even to me, and I'm not in your shoes. This man has used you and will continue you use you legally and emotionally as long as you allow it. He's a con artist of the worst sort. You're too busy beating yourself up right now to see the forrest for the trees. This is not a matter in which you should wait a while on and then do something about. What if he decides tomorrow that he wanted to take a house out in your name? Because you are legally married to him he could really screw you over financially more than he's ever done emotionally. Please see a lawyer right away and then a counselor soon too. Please RUN from this situation like the the devil was after your immortal soul. This guy is the devil. NJ, I have to agree with everyone else here about this guy. He’s using you so bad it’s criminal. Matter of fact it is criminal in the US. You’re so busy worrying about what he will think about you going back on your word, when you forget to consider the fact that this man has gone back on every word he’s spoken to you. You don’t owe him or his children, and baby mothers, girlfriends, etc. Anything. Just typing all of that sounds complete upseting even to me, and I’m not in your shoes. This man has used you and will continue you use you legally and emotionally as long as you allow it. He’s a con artist of the worst sort. You’re too busy beating yourself up right now to see the forrest for the trees. This is not a matter in which you should wait a while on and then do something about. What if he decides tomorrow that he wanted to take a house out in your name? Because you are legally married to him he could really screw you over financially more than he’s ever done emotionally. Please see a lawyer right away and then a counselor soon too. Please RUN from this situation like the the devil was after your immortal soul. This guy is the devil.

]]> By: Astelle http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/comment-page-3/#comment-208582 Astelle Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:12:04 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recognising-things-about-yourself-in-the-man-you-profess-to-love-part-2/#comment-208582 NJ, start by talking to a Lawyer to see what options you have. Don't think annulment will be an option, you married him to get him legal status and that is a felony. How long have you been married? NJ, start by talking to a Lawyer to see what options you have.
Don’t think annulment will be an option, you married him to get him legal status and that is a felony. How long have you been married?

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