I understand that this is a site for women, by women, and only stumbled upon this article after I Googled ‘violent women justify behaviour on hormones’. So, I hope you can appreciate my situation as a desperately unhappy man struggling in a destructive and dysfunctional relationship, and why I continued to read this article, reader comments, and take the time to add a personal view.

I don’t need to dig too deeply to apply several red flags you described to myself. I don’t imagine too many men and women who couldn’t apply at least one to themselves at some stage(s) during their lives. If you are in a dysfunctional relationship, then, like me, you’ll probably relate to more than one.

Yet, the more I read on this site and others about what are seemingly male-oriented behaviours, the more I sense a pervasive attitude that regard males as genetically predisposed to growing into mal-adjusted, misogynistic men.

I’ve known men whose traits and behaviour strengthens the stereotype, however, the gender bias of articles such as this one, and the sheer number of articles/sites/publications out in the ether referring to ‘he’ when describing negative human traits, perpetuates a distorted view, in my opinion.

From bitter experience I have gained first-hand knowledge of all the red flags mentioned – seemingly applied only to men – perpetrated by a woman – abuse and violence in particular. BTW: abuse and violence, is not, has never been, nor will be one of my traits.

My own experience has unfortunately proven to me that when my wife becomes uncontrollably abusive and violent 3-5 days per month, society’s predominant attitude is to either laugh it off and say ‘be a man… toughen up… get over it…’, or suggest I’m intolerant toward female biology.

There is virtually no support, recourse, understanding, or compassion, from men or women – issues like abuse and violence appear to be taken seriously only when perpetrated by a man, not vice versa.

The more successful a woman in her career, and the better educated, the less likely she is to be viewed as being capable of such behaviour. This, has been my experience.

As a husband, and a father, I feel left with very few options. To stay, legitimises dangerous and destructive behaviour, to leave, means leaving our home and young daughter, whom I love dearly.

The prospect of contending with a hostile society’s attitude towards a man walking out on his family, regardless of the circumstances, doesn’t sit comfortably with me either.

I’d like to say I shouldn’t have ignored the red flags when I first met my wife, but by doing so I’d also be saying I wished my young daughter wasn’t born, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

If only our attitudes towards equality weren’t so unequal, maybe social norms wouldn’t regard female abuse and violence towards men as a somehow justifiable and benign act. It might also mean some men aren’t left feeling helpless, hopeless, intimidated and isolated.