Romanticize This…Holiday (vacation) romances

March 25, 2008 by Cheekie

woman staring at beach Cheekie writes….
Ah the memories…a perfect night, a perfect moon, a perfect beach, a perfect kiss. A perfect, passionate sex-on-the-beach where even-the-sand-didn’t-hurt-in-there (that much) moment.

Perfect perfectness.

No everyday BS. No dishes, laundry, dinners to cook.

No fights, no petty jealousies.

Just one night of bliss, or maybe more.

Depends on the length of your vacation I suppose.

Yes, I am talking about the Vacation Romance.

You get away, either with friends or solo to some fabulous place.

You are having the time of your life. Sleeping in, relaxing, partying it up.

Enjoying yourself so much that suddenly, BAM, oooh there he or she is, this perfect person, smiling, laughing, relaxing.

You start talking, and maybe a few drinks are had.

You dance, walk the beach, go to a club, what have you.

You remember the movie Before Sunset/Sunrise right?

Very romantic, oh so romantic.

Fast forward - you have left, you are back home and it has been a while since you last saw the god/goddess of your dreams. You may have exchanged emails and im info, but not much has transpired.

But then it starts. Life. Real life. Stress. BS.

The lack of remotely close to god/goddess dating partners.

Or even in some cases, the boyfriend or girlfriend you left behind when you went on vacation, with your teary airport goodbyes, well they have suddenly lost their luster upon your return.

Then the pining starts. Slowly it builds. Suddenly, you can’t stop thinking about your vacation fling.

You compare every guy/girl you meet to them.

They pale in comparison.

They aren’t nearly as fun, exciting, passionate.

You start to reinstate communication with said object of affection. You let it slip that you miss them, oh my! They respond that they miss you too!

Oh no, the obsession starts.

You wish you could be there with them and you profess feelings for them.

Even if you only knew them one night, suddenly, you have realized that they are THE ONE.

Ok, so half of you are laughing at the patheticness of this, and the other half are sheepish right about now.

It’s happened to you, or a close friend, hasn’t it?

Well, time to snap the hell out of it.

First off, there is NO WAY that you can believe or profess to be in love with someone you have known for one short , or long ;), night. In perfect conditions. Both relaxed, both happy, both probably drunk.

What do you think would truly happen if you spent the day to day with them?

Do you really think that every day would be beach walks, orgasms and breakfast in bed?

Really? And is that what you think love is? (mind you, it is my fave part)

We tend to romanticize these relationships when we are at our most stressed, because they represent a very happy, very content time to us. Vacation.

Your relationship back at home might be getting tough, or stale, or is just fine, but lacks the ‘excitement’ you have suddenly decided you HAVE to have in your life. And this god/goddess represents that.

It isn’t the person you are in love with.

It is the idea of that person.

Don’t misunderstand me here; I do believe that quite a few people have found their ‘One’ outside of their own border. I also believe that that special exciting love exists.

But, seriously look at your own situation before deciding that applies to you and if you are really willing to give up everything for it. If you can honestly answer that yes, you want to be with the god/goddess and they want to be with you, just tell me where you are registered because you have my blessing.

BUT- Are you trying to escape? Fantasy is fine, great even. But it is called Fantasy for a reason. It isn’t, can’t, and shall never be Reality. So really take the time to sort out what you might be avoiding in your life, and what you might be idolizing this other person for.

We all have that special someone we still think about, and those thoughts bring us a smile and comfort when we are feeling down. Nothing wrong with that.

But leave it there.

It comes down to being honest with yourself, and your reasons for trying to escape. You are no good to anybody, especially YOU, if you are constantly pining away for someone and something that might never happen.It isn’t healthy and will only affect your ability to have a Reality.

Go ahead, have a Vacation Romance. But leave it on the beach…it’s where it belongs.

In your dreams and memories, for the days when you are old and grey sitting with your girls playing bridge reminiscing about lost loves and lovers.. Just think of the great stories you can tell…

p.s. This doesn’t only apply to Vacation Romances, think of old highschool/college flames and the ‘what ifs’ holding a lot of us back…even though that horse is dead dead dead!

Your thoughts?

Cheekie is back as a regular contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a 30 ish single cheekie chick, just wandering her way through the dating forest and trying to leave as many bread crumbs as possible….Look out for her posts each week!