I will be more explicit in the future.

Fortunately for me, some ladies desire sex with me. I just have to make sure that they do not project this prince charming thing onto me where they will feel disappointed or rejected if I just ask for sex.

Unfortunately, I am rather inhibited so it is quite difficult for me to ask for sex straight out without first having played the seduction game. Also. I gather that only really works with a quite small proportion of ladies and I am not that thick skinned.

Keeping the balance is not always that easy. Especially if you are biologically wired to be pissed off if she then turns you down because she wants more. Acceptance is getting easier with progressing age however certain ladies take that as just part of the game and play on it…

I did not want to make false pretenses so I told the girl that I am emotionally not ready for a relationship and I just wanted her body. Of course I said this in a flirtatious seductive manner because I did want to get in her pants.

Which I did. It was great. Just what the doctor ordered.

Now, however, the girl seems to think that we are in some sort of relationship. She wants to go out and date and construct something.

Regardless of whether I want this or not I know I am not ready.

I would actually like to have sex with this girl again but feel I shouldn’t as she appears to want more than I can give. I also just know that now I have already had sex with her I will always end up being the bad guy in our same enlarged social circle.

If I call her and we shag again I am exploiting her feelings for me.
If I don’t call then I just used her body.

There is no point in being honest women do not want the truth! Women want to feel like princesses and be pursued and if reality doesn’t fit this they delude themselves. Whatever the guy does he will end up being the asshole for the women. My ex is telling everybody exaggerated to the point of being untruthful lies about what I did and didn’t do. For me this is very disappointing as I loved her and tried hard to make things work. I know I am not the bad person she is making me out to be.

Sorry for the tardiness of this, I have been very busy with school and my own love life.

You wrote “When we meet up he’s very inquisitive and says flattering things.” This can mean a ton of different things from him wanting more to him wanting to know a little more about who he is sleeping with.
You seem to be confused about your feelings and how to handle this situation which if you were worried about his feelings then the only thing to do is stop seeing him. I wish I could tell you more yet I don’t have enough information to do that.

I do hope you see this and write back, just it has been almost a month now

See you have had some bad experience’s yourself, but calling someone else a user for something they admit they have done, doesn’t change whatever happened to yourself.
Based on your hostility, it’s clear you have had someone hurt you deeply, or bared witness to someone close to you going through suck pain. Sorry for whatever happened that has caused you to lash out. Hope you get past it and find someone who treats you right, if you haven’t already.

I’m a woman and I think you may have confused me with another poster (first and last paragraph).

I wanted your perspective to see if there is any acknowledgment of the EUM behavior at the time.

It is true, it takes getting your heart broken for one to realize the dangerous patterns they have been following, I am happy to hear that you have opened your heart and are receptive to a loving heathy relationship.

You say “was,” She could either be telling you that because she wants to play a little hard to get, or she could be telling the truth, yet still find you attractive enough to sleep with. Depending on the kind of women you have. Like I said I have very little to go by, just that if you want to be her friend, then be her friend, if you want to be her FWB, then be that. There is no happy ground that I have found, and it is dangerous waters you are treading in, where hers or even your emotions can be severally hurt in the long run.

My story was that I was being both, her friend and her FWB. I will just say HB, short for “Hump Buddy.” As her friend, we hung out everyday and did whatever and always had a good time. Now, I couldn’t see myself with her long term, and she kept telling me that she liked me a lot and even asked me out and I said no, along with something stupid like ” Im not ready to date yet, maybe later on down the road.” I figured to myself that maybe she would grow on me and I would change my mind at some point.

She got herself a Boyfriend and it was turmoil for me, I wanted her in the worse way imaginable; so I thought. Yeah, when I had my chance with her, I took it and wasn’t really happy with her, treated her like less then nothing. This girl is one with a big heart, I am not proud of these events in anyway and I didn’t seem to know better at the time. So it was off and on for three years, she was living three states over and STILL wanted to be with me. I figured it would be good and made sure that we had a blast the few times a month we saw each other. Six flags, sailing for entire weekend “making love under the stars out on the ocean. ect…” Yeah, she cried all the other days of each passing month, as I didn’t really mind at all. Now, she was and still is VERY attractive, that wasn’t the problem. She was fun to be around and shared all my values, then again she adopted all of them. She was just so clingy and needy. She didn’t have a drivers license at 22 years of age and I didn’t like being asked to drive her too and from work. Her mother has a drinking problem and I was always there trying to console her over it. I felt like I couldn’t breath and just couldn’t see getting married to her so what is the point. Yeah, it was bad and she even pulled the ” I was in love with you, but I am over it” routine on me. I KNEW BETTER. Shouldn’t of done all of that and in the end, I lost her to a very large, Muscle builder and it was everything I deserved for pain and then some. Woke me up to a few things and I wanted to have someone to connect with and love, to share my life with. That was three years ago, October 3. Since then I have had a rebound and one VERY successful relationship that went a little haywire. Lets just say we are now both on Anti depressants and I saw her today Ironically, the first time in three months. Even thought I want to remain single for awhile (and so doesn’t she) it was nice to see her after such a long time has passed. (random Tangent)

Back to that women in question. If she has made mention of feelings like that then choose being Just Friends, or HB’s. Tread lightly and even thought it is kinda rude, DON’T CALL THE NEXT DAY. Yeah, can make a women feel a little slutty and all, but you are not dating her and she HAS been told what it is going to be from the start. Personally, I would just find someone else, maybe someone you can see something happening with long term, but, you live and you learn. Good luck Gayle Be careful, telling you at one point that she loves you, can mean she has some very powerful feelings towards you, and make sure you talk to her without ambiguities!! Make sure she knows that you don’t want, and will not want, anything else but a sex partner for a night or maybe a few others and you hope she finds someone that will be good for her.

Are you saying you are no longer an EUM?
What were your thoughts when you were continuing this type of arrangement and knew that she was in love with you?