Sexual Role-playing

September 8, 2006 by Vixen

womans in lingerie For starters keep in mind that once you’ve opened the door to fantasies and role-playing, you have opened the door to a whole new dimension in the boudoir. You are opening the door to sharing your sexual fantasies, which will open your sexuality to new dimensions that you never thought possible and will unleash all kinds of characters. Yes I did say characters!

The key to role-playing is to get into character. As in, if he wants you to be the naughty schoolgirl, you will play that part to the hilt. This is when you give yourself to the character— what would the naughty schoolgirl do in this situation? What would the sexy nurse do? It’s no longer, what would Vixen do—but more, what would the character do. You have to give yourself over totally to the character, talk like her, use her phrases, try out some sultry looks that she would give. Take her attitude, her demeanor as well as her look.

Be sure to talk to him first about what his fantasies are. He gives you the skit, and you turn it into a movie. Bear in mind that for beginners, it’s better to start slow. Don’t break out the hardcore whips & chains dominatrix on the first outing into roleplay. That might totally scare him off! Conversely there are some fantasies that you have to keep to yourself, like if you’ve ever envisioned having sex with any member of his family or one of his friends or any of your exes. There is no way your guy would ever be comfortable with that!

Another point is to approach this with a good sense of humour. After all, it’s supposed to be fun! You have to be happy with whatever role that you’ve chosen. There are some really powerful female roles out there if you want to take the reins of the encounter. For example the business woman boss, interviewer, a dominatrix, the stripper, Superwoman, the pool boy’s boss etc. Conversely, there are submissive ones as well like the love slave, school girl, courtesan etc. Be sure that you are comfortable with your character and will enjoy it. That way, you won’t get all pissy when he commands his love slave to give him head.

Once you’ve decided on the scenario, props are always great to get into the mood and really into the role. It doesn’t have to be all that costume-y, just some basics that will work for the foreplay and sex. You can order different props online, buy them at shops like Frederick’s of Hollywood/Ann Summer’s etc., look through last year’s Halloween racks or make your own props. Remember, a pair of very sexy high heeled f*ck me boots/stilettos is a must. It works well for almost any character and adds that extra Oomph to the outfit. Be sure to include other props as well, like feather dusters, school books, dollar bills for that hooker outfit, glasses etc. You can start your collection with a few choice pieces and work up from there.

For those that get really aggressively into role-playing i.e. spankings, rape enactments, chokings and the like, I’ve read that it’s always good to have a ’safe word’ or phrase. That way, when you no longer feel comfortable you say the safe word and the game is over. This establishes a boundary that will allow you to push the envelope as much as you want but not hurt each other. Which is always good!

As for any other ideas to spice things up….read up! I devour books on sex on a regular basis. Take a trip to the bookstore and just browse through that Sex/Self-help section. You’d be surprised how much you can pick up just by randomly skimming a few pages. Magazines like Cosmopolitan & Glamour always have some new tip or skill in every issue that is supposed to amp up your sex life. They are pretty self-explanatory and he’s usually wowed by just one new technique. When it comes to my sex life, I’m not shy. I’ve been known to talk to the girls about new skills, techniques and stuff. You might be surprised how much your friends know that you never even thought of! You can never know too much about sex. Ever!

For more of Vixen’s sassy posts, visit her blog The Bad Girls Guide.

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