Throughout the entire time that I have been writing my new ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, my guide to emotionally unavailable men and the very reliable women that love them, I have been listening to a hell of a lot of songs and I realised that many of the songs that I love are about trying to get men that don’t want to be got, and saying that you’re better than the woman because you can love him better.

I even noticed that on my recent post about how Mr Unavailable blows hot and cold on women, only to turn the tables on you and turn YOU into ‘The Pursuer’, readers started putting songs on like ‘Shadowboxer to your phone’ by Fiona Apple and Duffy’s ‘Stepping Stone’ suggested by FinallyOverIt, BBP suggests a timeless favourite by Patsy Cline, ‘Crazy’ and I have seen many others suggested on the forum.

Here are some of my all time favourite songs…can you see a theme, other than the fact that Mary J Blige is the queen of Fallback Girl songs as well as R&B….?

Not Gon’ Cry – Mary J Blige (The Flogger Fallback Girl)

“While all the time that I was loving you

You were busy loving yourself

I would stop breathing if you told me to

Now your busy loving someone else”


No Happy Holidays by Mary J Blige (The Other Woman Fallback Girl)

“Christmas you weren’t with me, New Year’s Eve you were not around

Valentine’s came and went, Makes me wonder where your time was spent

Fireworks on the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving was another lie

Your family has never met me, And you’ve never met mine, no happy holiday”

I Can Love You (Better than she can) by Mary J Blige and Lil Kim – The Yo Yo Girl

“Wondering why you don’t love me, The way that I love you”

She Can’t Love You by Destiny’s Child – Yo Yo Girl, The Other Woman

“I saw your new girlfriend the other day, And I expected for her to be so much more than she was

I checked out her style, the way she smiled, The way she moved, the things she said

The way she looked at me like, “I got yo’ man”, She can’t love you like I can

Her awful love just cant compare to what I have, She can’t touch you like I do

‘Cause when she touch you, you pretend it’s me and you, There’s no way her love’s as good as mine

There’s no reason for you to waste your time”

Others include:

Underappreciated by Chrstina Aguilera

Superwoman by Karen White

I Can Change by John Legend

Willing and Waiting by Mary J Blige

Life Story by Angie Stone

Same Script, Different Cast by Whitney Houston (perfect for The Other Woman and The Yo You Girl)

If you want a journey through emotional unavailability, listen to Mary J Blige. I listened to pretty much every single album one day from the beginning to the end and there is a Fallback Girl that has grown.

I know that writing songs is about your own experiences, although I find it quite questionable that Destiny’s Child had that experience as they were barely tipping 20 when that song came out, but is losing a man, trying to take him off someone else, or waiting for him to change and return what most women have to sing about?! Well I guess we’re not looking for happy songs and at least they’re relatable, because let’s face it, there’s a hell of a lot of waiting, heartbroken, confused, underappreciated women out there.

But in the meantime, I want to know what your song is – Your thoughts?

And whilst we’re on the subject, what’s your feel good song for moving past him?

NML is the founder of Baggage Reclaim and has just published her new ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, which dissects emotionally unavailable men and the women that love him. Find out more.

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45 Responses to Singing Your Way to Emotional Unavailability

  1. FinallyOverIt says:

    Ok, I’ll be the first to post on this one! Great article, NML! Music has been a big part of my healing process from my ex-EUM. Of course, Duffy’s “Stepping Stone” is my latest theme song, and second would be Fiona’s “Shadow Boxer”. But….my “moving on” song is “I Ain’t Settling” by Sugarland (country!). The main verse is,

    “I ain’t settling for just getting by,
    I’ve had enough ‘so so’ for the rest of my life,
    tired of shootin’ too low, gonna raise the bar high,
    I ain’t settling for anything less than everything.”

    Pretty much says it all for me!

  2. Kim says:

    NML – my all time fav song has always been Dreams. I never even realized what the lyrics meant until this year. My moving on song is “Movin’ On” by Rascall Flatts. Look at the 1st verse below. Also check out on lyrics.com “Take A Bow” by Rhianna

    DREAMS by Stevie Nicks

    Now here you go again
    You say you want your freedom
    Well who am I to keep you down
    Its only right that you should
    Play the way you feel it
    But listen carefully to the sound
    Of your loneliness
    Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
    In the stillness of remembering what you had
    And what you lost…
    Thunder only happens when its raining
    Players only love you when they’re playing
    Say… women… they will come and they will go
    When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know

    MOVIN’ ON by Rascall Flatts

    I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons
    Finally content with a past I regret
    I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness
    For once I’m at peace with myself
    I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
    I’m movin’ on

    Thx for all you do NML! Healing for me has been a slow process & painful but your insight & website have been instrumental to my progress of “movin on”.
    :o)

  3. julie says:

    My latest break-up songs are both by Eminem. The fact that my ex EUM didn’t like hip-hop definetely played a role in this selection!

    1) For the break-up and beginning of NC: Rock Bottom. Somehow, having begged and lost all self-esteem and sitting on you’re hands not to dial his number doesn’t sound like such a big deal after you’ve repeated the following lyrics a good ten times:

    “That’s Rock Bottom
    When this life makes you mad enough to kill
    That’s Rock Bottom
    When you want something bad enough you’ll steal
    That’s Rock Bottom
    When you feel you have had it up to here
    Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear”

    2) For the stage just after: “Just don’t give a f*ck” (he says it at least 15 times in one song!) and “Still don’t give a f*ck”. Both very good for auto-persuasion that it’s time to move on and you couldn’t care less about losing that guy

    “To everytime I reminisce
    Yo! I miss my past
    But I still dont give a f*ck Y’all can kiss my *ss!”

  4. Jen says:

    I really appreciate this post because music has played a significant role in my acknowledging (and changing) unhealthy relationship patterns.

    The song that says it all for me…

    “Almost Lover” by A Fine Frenzy

    I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot walk the streets at night
    I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind
    So you’re gone and I’m haunted, and I bet you are just fine
    Do I make it that easy for you to walk right in and out of my life?

    My feel good song is “Hit me with your best shot” by Pat Benatar

    You come on with a come on, you dont fight fair
    But thats o.k., see if I care!
    Knock me down, its all in vain
    Ill get right back on my feet again!

  5. Ashley says:

    Regarding the assclown: “My Favorite Mistake” Sheryl Crow
    Getting/Being Over it: “I’m Still Standing” Elton John

  6. Joanna says:

    Precious Things by Tori Amos

    So I ran faster
    But it caught me here
    Yes my loyalties turned
    Like my ankle
    In the seventh grade
    Running after billy
    Running after the rain

    These precious things
    Let them bleed
    Let them wash away
    These precious things
    Let them break their hold over me

    He said youre really an ugly girl
    But I like the way you play
    And I died
    But I thanked him
    Can you believe that
    Sick sick
    Holding on to his picture
    Dressing up every day
    I wanna smash the faces
    Of those beautiful boys
    Those christian boys
    So you can make me cum
    That doesnt make you jesus

    These precious things
    Let them bleed
    Let them wash away
    These precious things
    Let them break their hold over me

    I remember
    Yes in my peach party dress
    No one dared
    No one cared
    To tell me where the pretty girls are
    Those demigods
    With their nine-inch nails and little fascist panties tucked inside the heart of every nice girl

    These precious things
    Let them bleed
    Let them wash away
    These precious things
    Let them break
    Let them wash away
    These these precious things
    Let them bleed now
    Let them wash away
    These these precious things
    Let them break their hold over me

    Precious …
    Precious …

  7. lisaq says:

    Seeing as how I’m that girl that’s always betting on potential, I have to go with Colbie Caillat’s “Realize.”

    Chorus:
    If you just realize what I just realized,
    Then we’d be perfect for each other
    and will never find another
    Just realized what I just realized
    we’d never have to wonder if
    we missed out on each other now.

    The best break up song ever? Taylor Swift “Just Another Picture to Burn”

    Verse 1:
    State the obvious,
    I didn’t get my perfect fantasy
    I realized you love yourself
    More that you could ever love me
    So go and tell your friends
    That I’m obsessive and crazy,
    That’s fine
    I’ll tell mine
    You’re gay,
    And by the way,

    Chorus:
    I hate that stupid old pickup truck,
    You never let me drive
    You’re a redneck, heartbreak
    Who’s really been a lie
    So watch me strike a match
    On all my wasted time
    As far as I’m concerned,
    You’re just another picture to burn.

    Gotta love that and, yeah, it’s the ringtone on my phone for a couple of people! :D

  8. TDS says:

    Almost Doesn’t Count – Brandy

    Almost made you love me
    Almost made you cry
    Almost made you happy, baby
    Didn’t I didn’t I

    You almost had me thinkin’
    You were turned around
    But everybody knows
    Almost doesn’t count

    Almost heard you saying
    You were finally free
    What was always missing for you, baby
    You’d found it in me
    But you can’t get to heaven
    Half off the ground
    Everybody knows
    Almost doesn’t count

    I can’t keep on lovin’ you
    One foot outside the door
    I hear a funny hesitation
    Of a heart that’s never really sure
    Can’t keep on tryin’
    If you’re looking for more
    Than all that I could give you, than what you came here for

    Gonna find me somebody
    Not afraid to let go
    Want a no-doubt-be-there kinda man
    You came real close
    But everytime you built me up
    You only let me down
    And everybody knows
    Almost doesn’t count

    Maybe you’ll be sorry
    Maybe you’ll be cold
    Maybe you’ll come runnin’ back, baby
    From the cruel cruel world
    Almost convinced me
    You’re gonna stick around
    But everybody knows
    Almost doesn’t count

    So maybe I’ll be here
    Maybe I’ll see ya around
    That’s the way it goes
    Almost doesn’t count

  9. Amy Logan says:

    Song for moving past him? JoDee Messina, “Bye Bye”

    “Don’t think all these tears are gonna hold me here like they’ve done before
    You’ll find what’s left of us in a cloud of dust on Highway 4
    Baby, what did you expect me to do?
    Just sit around and wait on you?
    Well, I’m through watching you just skate around the truth,
    I know it sounds trite – I’ve seen the light
    Bye bye, love, I’ll catch you later
    Got a lead foot down on my accelerator
    And the rearview mirror torn off
    ‘Cause I ain’t never looking back
    And that’s a fact.
    I’ve tried all I can imagine
    I’ve begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion,
    I’ve got pride, I’m taking it for a ride.
    Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye

  10. TDS says:

    “Parting Gift” – Fiona Apple

    I opened my eyes
    While you were kissing me once more than once
    And you looked as sincere as a dog
    Just as sincere as a dog does,
    When it’s the food on your lips with which it’s in love

    I bet you could never tell
    That I knew you didn’t know me that well
    It is my fault you see
    You never learned that much from me

    Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine
    You were always good for a rhyme
    And from the first, to the last time, the signs
    Said ‘Stop’ – but we went on whole-hearted
    It ended bad, but I love what we started
    It said ‘Stop’ – but we went on whole-hearted
    It ended bad, but I love what we started

    I took off my glasses
    While you were yelling at me once more than once
    So as not to see you see me react
    Should’ve put ‘em, should’ve put ‘em on again
    So I could see you see me sincerely yelling back

    I bet your fortressed face
    Belied your fort of lace
    It is by the grace of me
    You never learned what I could see

    Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine
    You were always good for a rhyme
    And from the first to all the last times, all the signs
    Said ‘Stop’ – but we went on whole-hearted
    It ended bad, but I love what we started
    It said ‘Stop’ – but we went on whole-hearted
    It ended bad, but I love what we started

  11. FinallyOverIt says:

    Surrendering

    you were full and fully capable
    you were self sufficient and needless
    your house was fully decorated in that sense

    you were taken with me to a point
    a case of careful what you wish for
    but what you knew was enough to begin

    and so you called and courted fiercely
    so you reached out, entirely fearless
    and yet you knew of reservation and how it serves

    and I salute you for your courage
    and I applaud your perseverance
    and I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces
    that I represent

    so you were in but not entirely
    you were up for this but not totally
    you knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt

    and so you fell and you’re intact
    so you dove in and you’re still breathing
    so you jumped and you’re still flying if not shocked

    and I support you in your trusting
    and I commend you for your wisdom
    and I’m amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces
    that I represent

    you found creative ways to distance
    you hid away from much through humor
    your choice of armor was your intellect

    and so you felt and you’re still here
    and so you died and you’re still standing
    and so you softened and you’re still safely in command

    self protection was in times of true danger
    your best defense to mistrust and be wary
    surrendering a feat of unequalled measure
    and I’m thrilled to let you in
    overjoyed to be let in in kind

  12. Nikki says:

    Sade – Is It a Crime?

    This may come
    this may come as some surprise
    but I miss you.
    I could see through all of your lies
    but still I miss you.
    He takes her love
    but it doesn’t feel like mine

    He tastes her kiss
    her kisses are not wine
    they’re not mine.
    He takes
    but surely she can’t give what I’m feeling now.
    She takes
    but surely she doesn’t know how.

    Is it a crime? Is it a crime that I still want you?
    And I want you to want me
    too.

    My love is wider
    wider than Victoria Lake.
    My love is taller
    taller than the Empire State.
    It dives and it jumps and it ripples like the deepest ocean.
    I can’t give you more than that
    surely you want me back.

    Is it a crime? Is it a crime that I still want you?
    And I want you to want me
    too.

    My love is wider than Victoria Lake

    taller than the Empire State.
    It dives and it jumps

    I can’t give you more than that
    surely you want me back.

    Is it a crime? Is it a crime that I still want you?
    And I want you to want me
    too.

    It dives
    it jumps and it ripples like the deepest ocean.
    I can’t give you more than that
    surely you want it back.
    Tell me
    is it a crime?

  13. Angel says:

    Breaking up with an EU

    Reina- “No one’s gonna change you”

    From the day we met
    I knew you were the one
    who stole my heart and ran with love
    Now here you are
    making me cry inside
    no longer will I be a prisoner of your love

    You, listen to me
    I’m speakng my mind
    I’m not gonna let you keep wasting my time
    As hard as it is
    As much as I’ll cry
    I want you to know
    That I’m saying goodbye
    How long did you think we could go on?
    While you treated me wrong and kept feeding me lies
    I’m letting you know, so don’t be surprised
    When I let you go and start living my life

    Chorus:
    Cause no one’s gonna change you
    And I won’t even waste my time
    I’m gonna find someone who will treat me right
    Cause no one’s gonna change you
    And I won’t even waste my time
    I’m gonna find someone who will treat me right

    There were times I believed things could work out
    But as hard as I tried I was always in doubt
    Now as sad as it is I’m sorry to say
    My love has moved on and my hearts turned away
    Some day you will see
    That you’ve made a mistake
    By the time you wake up it’ll all be too late
    Cause I will have moved on and found someone new
    Who wants to be mine the way I’ve wanted you

    I gave you all of my time
    Didn’t mean that much to you
    Showered you with all of my love
    And all you did was push my love
    now you want me to stay
    I can’t believe in you
    when I’m finally working up the strength to walk away
    And no one’s gonna change you
    no, no I’m gonna find someone who will treat me right

  14. Loving Annie says:

    “I Will Survive” is a great moving on song….

    There is an excellent ‘heartache relief CD’ list of songs on the website
    http://www.lollie.com

    under the romance/relationship section…

    Loving your e-book, NML – made it all the way to page 194 today – it is WONDERFUL. I see myself, I see him, I see clearly, and that has such healing power in it.
    I realized I had ZERO boundaries. No wonder all I got was nothing but hot air and EUM’s… I lived in fantasy, in hope, in denial, and never in the present delaing with who he actually was and how he was treating me RIGHT NOW.
    No more of that – that’s why your book thrills me. I can see why it doesn’t work, and I didn’t understand that before.
    I was only blind until someone positive taught me what vision was :)

  15. cheekie says:

    Oh man. So many eum songs…really. Basically every great ballad written by a woman is based on that….so, here’s another Duffy one, I cried at her concert when she sang this and when I saw the video for this I broke right down…(although that doesn’t take much, I’m a big softie)

    Warwick Avenue

    When I get to Warwick Avenue…
    Meet me by the entrance of the tube.
    We can talk things over, a little time…
    Promise me you won’t step outta line.

    When I get to Warwick Avenue…
    Please drop the past and be true.
    Don’t think we’re okay, just because I’m here…
    You hurt me bad, but I won’t shed a tear.

    I’m leaving you for the last time baby…
    You think you’re loving but you don’t love me.
    I’ve been confused outta’ my mind lately…
    You think you’re loving but I want to be free.
    Baby you’ve hurt me.

    When I get to Warwick Avenue…
    We’ll spend an hour, but no more than two.
    Our only chance to speak, once more…
    I showed you the answers, now here’s the door.

    When I get to Warwick Avenue…
    I’ll tell you baby, that we’re through.

    I’m leaving you for the last time baby…
    You think you’re loving but you don’t love me.
    I’ve been confused outta’ my mind lately…
    You think you’re loving but you don’t love me.
    I want to be free, baby you’ve hurt me.

    All the days spent together, I wished for better,
    But I didn’t want the train to come.
    Now it’s departed,
    I’m broken hearted, seems like we never started.
    All the days spent together, when I wished for better,
    And I didn’t want the train to come

    You think you’re loving but you don’t love me.
    I want to be free, baby you’ve hurt me.
    You don’t love me,
    I want to be free,
    Baby you’ve hurt me.

    And then of course, my dear Amy Winehouse…

    Back to Black

    He left no time to regret
    Kept his dick wet
    With his same old safe bet
    Me and my head high
    And my tears dry
    Get on without my guy
    You went back to what you knew
    So far removed from all that we went through
    And I tread a troubled track
    My odds are stacked
    I’ll go back to black

    We only said good-bye with words
    I died a hundred times
    You go back to her
    And I go back to…..

    I go back to us

    I love you much
    It’s not enough
    You love blow and I love puff
    And life is like a pipe
    And I’m a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

    We only said goodbye with words
    I died a hundred times
    You go back to her
    And I go back to

    Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
    I go back to
    I go back to

    We only said good-bye with words
    I died a hundred times
    You go back to her
    And I go back to

    We only said good-bye with words
    I died a hundred times
    You go back to her
    And I go back to black

    As for getting over the bastards? Haven’t found the 100% cureall song for that but another Amy-
    Tears Dry on Their Own

    All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew
    And this regret I had to get accustomed to
    Once it was so right
    When we were at our high
    Waiting for you in the hotel at night
    I knew I hadn’t met my match
    But every moment we could snatch
    I don’t know why I got so attached
    It’s my responsibility
    You don’t owe nothing to me
    But to walk away I have no capacity

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I’m grown
    And in this grey,
    In this blue shade
    My tears dry on their own

    I don’t understand
    Why do I stress a man?
    When there’s so many better things at hand
    We could’ve never had it all
    We had to hit a wall
    So this is inevitable withdrawal
    Even if I stop wanting you
    And perspective pushes through
    I’ll be some next man’s other woman soon
    I shouldn’t play myself again
    I Should just be my own best friend.
    Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I’m grown
    And its ok,
    In this blue shade
    My tears dry on their own

    So we are history,
    Your shadow covers me
    The sky above
    A blaze that only lovers see

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I’m grown
    And in your way
    In this blue shade
    My tears dry on their own

    I wish I could say no regrets
    And no emotional debts
    And as we kiss goodbye the sun sets
    So we are history
    A shadow covers me
    The sky above a blaze
    That only lovers see

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I’m grown
    And in your way
    My blue shade
    My tears dry on their own

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I am grown
    And in your way
    My deep shade
    My tears dry on their own

    He walks away the sun goes down
    He takes the day but I’m grown
    And in your way
    My deep shade
    My tears dry

    And the all time best…Ne Regrets Rein-Edith Piaf…but you need to understand French so I won’t post it…

    sorry this was so long!! I could go on for days…

    xoxoxo

  16. Tulipa says:

    song in my head at the moment is Fleetwood Mac
    Tell me lies tell me lies tell me sweet little lies..
    No idea why ..

  17. Nilondoner says:

    ok I feel I have to contribute.
    My favourite moving on song, the one that helps me getting mad with the bastard and not, DEFINITELY NOT wanting him back into my life is “I learned from the best” by Whitney Houston.
    as for Fallback girls… has anyone ever listened to the lyrics of Mamma Mia?

  18. NML says:

    Oh this song ‘Substitute Lover’ by Estelle is WRITTEN for Fallback Girls who are moving on!

    “I know it would have been nice if i could have had your body
    Knowing that everybody aint been with you
    but you told me lies you made me give my heart away
    but now i know the games you play
    So I’m thru with you

    Oh boy oh boy
    I’m not your substitute lover oh no
    Say boy oh boy I’m not your substitute lover oh no”

    Keep the songs coming ladies! Brilliant choices!

  19. NML says:

    Btw Nilondoner, THAT is a song!

  20. Nada says:

    I always hated the lyrics of bleeding love by Leona Lewis. I guess they don’t mean it literally, but still.
    Love “sweet about me” by Gabriella Cilmi. Just cool, no revenge or bitterness.

  21. Nilondoner says:

    uhm … I forgot a very important moving on, feel good song: “He wasn’t man enough for me” by Tony Braxton

  22. Nilondoner says:

    and another one “What about” by Janet Jackson
    ok I gotta stop now!

  23. astelle says:

    This has been me for a few months, feeling totally indifferent about him.

    Phil Collins: “I don’t care anymore”
    I don’t care what you say
    We never played by the same rules anyway.

    I won’t be there anymore
    Get out of my way
    Let me by
    I got better things to do with my time
    I don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore
    I don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore

    Well, I don’t care now what you say
    ‘Cos ev’ry day I’m feeling fine with myself
    And I don’t care now what you say
    Hey I’ll do alright by myself
    ‘Cos I know.

    ‘Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard
    And you laughed in my face ‘cos you held all the cards.
    I don’t care anymore.
    And I really ain’t bothered what you think of me
    ‘Cos all I want of you is just a let me be.
    I don’t care anymore D’you hear? I don’t care no more

    I don’t care what you say
    I never did believe you much anyway.

  24. FinallyOverIt says:

    Okay guys, my last favorite EUM song is Alanis’

    “You Owe Me Nothing in Return”

    I’ll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
    I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
    You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I’ll hold it
    You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won’t judge it
    (and there are no strings attached to it)

    You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
    You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
    I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
    And you owe me nothing in return

    You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I’ll grant it
    You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you’ll have it
    You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I’ll support it
    You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I’ll understand it
    (and there are no strings attached to it)

    You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
    You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
    I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
    And you owe me nothing in return

    I bet you’re wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
    I bet you’re wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
    I bet wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
    This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

    You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I’ll lose you and I’ll hear it
    You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I’ll empathize with
    You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion I’ll hear it
    You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I’ll hold it
    (and there are no strings attached)

    You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
    You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
    I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
    And you owe me nothing in return

    This was fun! Now, I’m going to buy the new NML book…..:)

  25. MG says:

    LADIES, LADIES, LADIES!!!! LISTEN UP- the song to top them all right now is ‘Let it Go’ by Keyshia Cole. You must see the video with the lyrics or get the latest album- it helped me get the strength to end things (finally this time, I hope)with my ex last week after listening over and over to most of the album- she is the new Fallback Girl Queen in my opinion!!! But she seems to realise when it is time to move on. The song should be this blog’s anthem, trust me- NML give it a listen.

    Even her song ‘I Just Want It To Be Over’ from her first album describes many of our situations perfectly!!!

    Music in this case has helped me see my situation with my emotionally unavaible, narcisstic ex for what it is. I have ended it with him countless times in the past year and a half of our two and half year relationship but I feel this time it will be final. I’m also trying to read NML’s ebooks which I’ve printed out as often as possible- have done two days full no contact already after almost a week since breakup. The longest I’ve gone before taking him back has been 8 days…. pray for me guys….

  26. Burgled! says:

    Cheekie, you beat me to it… ”Back to Black”. Ex-UMM had the audacity to suggest that the song was representative of me and him. Huh, he thinks a lot of himself! Bet he wishes I was pining for him every time he did one back to his girlfriend (yes, of course I was, but I still reprimanded him for bringing it up)

  27. Tulipa says:

    Addicted by Kelly Clarkson .. probably more for those who can’t let go ..

  28. Alysia says:

    OK, I have been wanting to bring this subject up for a while…. if you want a complete and total guide to Emotionally Unavailable men and the heartbreak you feel loving them and just a very good insight to their thinking… Both of these albums have really helped me tremendously. Both albums are all about emotionally unavailable men. Awesome, insightful lyrics…

    LISTEN TO AIMEE MANN!!!
    Especially the albums “I’m With Stupid” and “Lost in Space”
    Listen to “Par for the Course” and “Guys Like Me”

    Here’s a snippet off of each….

    “Guys Like Me”
    Guys like me
    We don’t know how it feels
    Absentee even closing the deal
    But every player there’s a
    payoff in the final reel
    But never with guys like me

    Cause guys like me
    We look good at the gate
    But you’ll agree with the odds on the slate
    and put your money on a bonafide heavyweight
    and take it off guys like me
    take it off guys like me

    We pull you close but never really
    looking warm but feeling chilly
    you’ll describe us as impassioned
    when it’s just a front we’ve fashioned

    Cause guys like me
    We all vow to become
    clear and free of the fife and the drum
    and block the circulation til
    we’re all completely numb
    let’s hear it for guys like me
    let’s hear it for guys like me
    let’s hear it for guys, guys like me

    “Par for the Course” from “I’m with Stupid”

    It’s par for the course
    You bet the wrong horse
    You put down the phone and cried
    For yourself
    And for what
    You couldn’t have

    A plea
    That won’t do
    Now that she
    Serves it to you

    And I don’t even know you
    I don’t even know you anymore
    I don’t even know you
    I don’t even know you

    It’s all you deserve
    The loss of the nerve
    The grade of the curve
    Has brought you to this
    By the boat that you missed
    You clung to the raft
    So she swerved out of your path

    And I don’t even know you
    I don’t even know you anymore
    I don’t even know you anymore

    You loved her a lot
    But she lost the plot
    And timing is everything
    In this game
    So let’s have
    A moment of blame

    Think how
    It could have been
    Well you should
    Have said it all then

    And I don’t even know you
    I don’t even know you anymore
    I don’t even know you anymore

    “Guys Like These”

  29. Mel says:

    Really sad one this but Kissing a Fool by George Michael has been my recent song of the moment:

    “Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
    covered me with kisses and lies
    so bye, but please don’t take my heart”

  30. blue violets says:

    I”m with Beyonce on this one… I’m moving on and walking away cuz I KNOW I CAN… “Irreplaceable”

    “You must not know ’bout me
    You must not know ’bout me
    I could have another you in a minute
    Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby
    You must not know ’bout me
    You must not know ’bout me
    I could have another you by tomorrow
    So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
    You’re irreplaceable

    “So since I’m not your everything
    How about I’ll be nothing, nothing at all to you?
    Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear)
    I won’t lose a wink of sleep (A wink of sleep)
    ‘Cause the truth of the matter is
    Replacing you is so easy, hey… ”

    And then there’s the other one… Jojo’s “Too LIttle, Too Late”

    (Just putting the chorus in here but the whole thing is for us girls who are working on NOT being the fallback…)

    “It’s just too little too late
    A little too wrong and I can’t wait
    Boy you know all the right things to say
    You know it’s just a little too late
    You say you dream of my face but you don’t like me
    You just like the chase
    To be real it doesn’t matter anyway
    You know it’s just too little too late “

  31. Kat says:

    Hi, I like Keysha Cole’s Let It Go…it is one of my theme songs. Listen up ladies!

    You need to get if he don’t want it
    Love you the right way he ain’t gonna,
    It ain’t where he’s at, it’s where he
    where he wanna to be

    I understand why you wanna try
    Make him stay home late at night
    But if wanna go he’ll be gone no lie
    I can’t explain how many times I tried
    How many times I cried
    Thinkin about mine and where he might be
    Remember when I gave everything I got
    Couldn’t get deep down inside
    How ya love someone who didn’t love me

    [Hook 1]
    But now I get if he don’t wanna
    love you the right way he ain’t gonna
    it ain’t where he’s at it’s where he
    where he wanna be

    [Chorus]
    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    If he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    If he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    [Missy Elliott]
    When this song come on in the club
    they gon be like
    damn that’s hot
    And when they play it in they car
    they gon drop they tops like
    damn that’s hot
    They gon mix it wit Biggie “It was all a dream” like
    damn that’s hot
    Me and Keyshia won’t stop
    til the tick don’t tock like
    damn that’s hot

    [Keyshia Cole]
    Now understand why I take my time
    cause you come wit alibis
    trynna get me to see thats where you trynna be
    but I dont want yo man
    Yo mans been callin me
    trynna get me to see
    that he wants me to be wit him
    But he ain’t the one for me
    and if you only knew
    you would
    do what you had to
    finally see that

    [Hook 2]
    You need to get if he don’t wanna
    love you the right way he ain’t gonna
    it ain’t where he’s at its where he
    where he wanna be

    [Chorus]
    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    If he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    If he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    [Lil Kim]
    Here’s a little lesson Lil Kim don’t stress em
    Kick em all straight to the curb like Beckham
    broke up wit my Ex he wit her for now but
    little do she know she just a rebound
    callin my phone she so outta pocket
    I been there before o’girl you need to stop it
    trickin on me when he tell you he ain’t got it
    you don’t get the picture
    my pictures in his wallet
    never ever thought I would leave him alone
    but I let a dog roam now he wanna come home
    but I
    don’t trust him
    though I still love him
    no longer want him
    lookin at his cousin
    kinda buzzin
    loose off the goose
    got him on a chase like cranberry juice
    when he’s wit you he’s wishin it was me
    you might be where he’s at but I’m where
    he wanna be (Baby Baby!)

    Let It Go
    Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go
    Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go
    Let It Go Let It Go Let It Go

    [Chorus]
    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    If he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    If he ain’t gonna love you
    the way he should
    then let it go
    and if he ain’t gonna treat you
    the way he should
    then let it go

    [Missy Elliott]
    When this song come on in the club
    they gon be like
    damn that’s hot
    And when they play it in they car
    they gon drop they tops like
    damn that’s hot
    They gon mix it wit Biggie “It was all a dream” like
    damn that’s hot
    Me Kim and Keyshia don’t stop
    til the tick don’t tock like
    damn that’s hot

  32. Kaiyasedai says:

    I have a couple.

    Ironically, written and performed by men, but great just the same..

    Jack Johnson – Sitting Waiting Wishing

    I was sitting, waiting, wishing
    You believed in superstitions
    Then maybe you’d see the signs.

    Lord knows that this world is cruel
    And I ain’t the lord, no I’m just a fool
    Learning lovin somebody don’t make them love you.

    Chorus
    Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
    Must I always be playing, playing your fool.

    I sang your songs, I danced your dance
    I gave your friends, all a chance
    Putting up with them wasn’t worth never having you

    Oh, maybe you’ve been through this before
    But it’s my first time, so please ignore
    The next few lines, cause they’re directed at you.

    Chorus
    I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
    I can’t always be playing, playing your fool.

    Bridge
    I keep playing your part
    But it’s not my scene
    Want this plot to twist
    I’ve had enough mystery
    Keep building it up
    Then shooting me down
    But I’m already down

    Just wait a minute
    Just sitting, waiting
    Just wait a minute
    Just sitting, waiting

    Well if I was in your position
    I’d put down all my ammunition
    I’d wonder why it had taken me so long

    But Lord knows that I’m not you
    and if I was I wouldn’t be so cruel
    cause waitin’ on love ain’t so easy to do

    Repeat Chorus
    Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
    Must I always be playing, playing your fool
    No I can’t always be waiting, waiting on you
    I can’t always be playing, playing your fool, fool.. mmm mmm.

    Barenaked Ladies – Thanks that was fun

    Im learning. Im yearning.
    Im burning all your stuff,
    But thats not enough.
    Im thinking that Im aching:
    Mistaking lust for love.

    Thanks that was fun.
    Dont forget, no regrets (cept maybe one)

    Did I scare you when I dared you?
    I stared you in the eye and told you good-bye.
    You mocked me. it shocked me,
    When you walked me to the bus.

    Thanks that was fun.
    Dont forget, no regrets (cept maybe one)
    Made a deal, not to feel (god, thats dumb)

    Everybody knows the deal fell through.
    I was hoping I could just blame you.
    When was it that I became so soft?

    This sentimentality doesnt look good on me.
    I thought that you would be begging to be with me.
    Im the one on my knees, blubbering,
    Please, let me stay.

    Deflated and jaded. i hate it when you call
    (which isnt at all)
    Ive spoken, though broken.
    Heres a token of my love.

    Thanks that was fun.
    Dont forget, no regrets (cept maybe one)
    Made a deal, not to feel (god, that was dumb)
    Dont forget, no regrets (cept maybe one)
    Made a deal, not to feel.
    Thanks that was fun.

  33. BBP says:

    I’ve listened to Amy Winehouse “Tears Dry On Their Own” so many times – thanks for that mention way back up there.
    The best one lately I’ve heard, and can’t get it out of my head: Taylor Swift, “Cold As You.” She couldn’t have said it better.

    You have a way of coming easily to me.
    And when you take, you take the very best of me.
    So I start a fight ’cause I need to feel somethin’
    And you do what you want ’cause I’m not what you wanted.

    (CHORUS)
    Oh, what a shame.
    What a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
    Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.
    And now that I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ it through, I’ve never been anywhere cold as you.

    You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray.
    And I stood there lovin’ you and WISHED them all away.
    And you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.

    (CHORUS)
    Oh, what a shame.
    What a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
    So just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.
    And now that I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ it through, I’ve never been anywhere cold as you.

    You never did give a damn thing, honey.
    But I cried, cried for you.
    And I know you wouldn’t have told nobody if I died, died for you.
    (Died for you)

    Oh, what a shame.
    What a rainy ending give to a perfect day. Every smile you fake is so condescending.
    Counted all the scars you made.
    Now that I’m sittin here thinkin’ it through, I’ve never been anywhere cold as you.

  34. Tlachelle42 says:

    The best I’m over it song is Jennifer Lopez’s “Ain’t it Funny”. My favorite lyrics are:
    Ain¸t It Funny
    It¸s Been Awhile Since You Came Around
    Now Ya Wanna See What¸s Goin¸ Down
    Tryin¸ To Tell Me Why Ya Want My Time
    Tryin¸ To Tell Me How I¸m On Your Mind
    See It Never Had To Be This Way
    You Should Of Never Played The Games You Played
    Now I¸m Seein¸ That You¸re Kinda Lame
    Knowin How The Situation Change

    I Remember How You Walked Away
    Even When I Tried To Call Your Name
    See At First I Didn¸t Understand
    Now You¸re Lookin¸ Like A Lonely Man
    I Remember How You Did Me Wrong
    And Now You¸re Hurtin¸ Cos My Love Is Gone
    Everybody Gets A Chance To Burn
    You Can Take It As A Lesson Learned

    Ain¸t That Funny
    Baby That You Want Me, When You Had Me
    Love Is Crazy, Now I Can Smile And Say
    Ain¸t That Funny
    Baby That You Want Me, When You Had Me
    Love Is Crazy, I¸m Glad I Can Smile And Say
    Ain¸t That Funny

    I Really Wish You Wouldn¸t Send Me Gifts
    Tryin¸ To Make Me Sit And Reminise
    Tryin¸ To Blind Me With Your Blingin¸ Bling
    Thought I Told You Love Don¸t Cost A Thing
    Hope You Realize That Now I¸m Through
    And I Don¸t Ever Wanna Hear From You
    I Had Enough Of Bein¸ There For You
    Now I¸m Laughin¸ While You Play The Fool

  35. Mina says:

    Taylor Swift’s “You’re Not Sorry”
    All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
    I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
    And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
    And you think it will be fine again but not this time around

    You don’t have to call anymore
    I won’t pick up the phone
    This is the last straw
    Don’t want to hurt anymore
    And you can tell me that you’re sorry
    But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
    You’re not sorry no more, no more, no

    Lookin’ so innocent
    I might believe you if I didn’t know
    Could’a loved you all my life
    If you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold
    And you got your share of secrets
    And I’m tired of being last to know
    And now you’re asking me to listen
    Cuz its worked each time before

    But you don’t have to call anymore
    I won’t pick up the phone
    This is the last straw
    Don’t want to hurt anymore
    And you can tell me that you’re sorry
    But I don’t believe you baby like I did before
    You’re not sorry no no no noo
    You’re not sorry no no no noo

    You had me calling for you honey
    And it never would’ve gone away no
    You use to shine so bright
    But I watched our love it fade

    So you don’t have to call anymore
    I won’t pick up the phone
    This is the last straw
    There’s nothing left to beg for
    And you can tell me that you’re sorry
    But I won’t believe you baby like I did before

    The Veronica’s “This Is How It Feels”
    You keep calling my phone non-stop
    Don’t you know I won’t pick it up
    You never leave a message
    Look how you’ve changed

    You got nothing to say, gettin’ in the way
    Show up at my house
    Your gettin’ so obsessive
    Like I have time for you

    Wasn’t it me you didn’t want?
    Wasn’t it me who was hanging on?
    Now I’m done but before I go I want you to know …

    This is how it feels
    When you wait for a call that never comes
    Are you waking up ’cause you miss someone?
    This is how it feels
    When the trust you had is broken,
    And your left to burn with your heart wide open

    Oh Oh

    You wanted me, not to tell me why
    Why and how you had the heart to f**k up my whole life
    That’s just so you

    And now I’ve moved on by myself
    And maybe I won’t forgive
    I’ll just forget you lived
    And I hope it hurts

    Wasn’t it me you tried to blame?
    Wasn’t it me you threw away?
    But before you go there’s something you should know …

    This is how it feels
    When you wait for a call that never comes
    Are you waking up ’cause you miss someone?
    This is how it feels (oh oh)
    When the trust you had is broken,
    And your left to burn with your heart wide open

    You taught me how to hate you
    And I was so in love
    When I tried to save us it was not enough
    So what the hell is different
    ’cause now that I am gone
    You’re crawling back to tell me
    I’m the one

    Oh Oh
    This is how it feels
    Oh Oh
    This is how it feels

    When you wait for a call that never comes
    Are you waking up ’cause you miss someone?
    This is how it feels (oh oh oh, oh oh oh)
    When the trust you had is broken,
    And your left to burn with your heart wide open

    Do you only want me
    ’cause you can’t have me?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause I’m gone?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause you can’t have me?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause I’m gone?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause you can’t have me?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause I’m gone?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause you can’t have me?
    Do you only want me
    ’cause I’m gone?

    Oh Oh

    There is of course, Limp Bizkit’s “Boiler”

  36. Alfie says:

    Katy Perry- Hot N Cold (Describes those EUM who blow hot & cold air)

    You change your mind
    Like a girl changes clothes
    Yeah you, PMS
    Like a bitch
    I would know

    And you always think
    Always speak
    Crypticly

    I should know
    That you’re no good for me

    Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down
    You’re wrong when it’s right
    It’s black and it’s white
    We fight, we break up
    We kiss, we make up

    You, You don’t really want to stay, no
    You, but you don’t really want to go-o
    You’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down

    We used to be
    Just like twins
    So in sync
    The same energy
    Now’s a dead battery
    Used to laugh bout nothing
    Now your plain boring

    I should know that
    you’re not gonna change

    Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down
    You’re wrong when it’s right
    It’s black and it’s white
    We fight, we break up
    We kiss, we make up

    You, You don’t really want to stay, no
    You, but you don’t really want to go-o
    You’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down

    Someone call the doctor
    Got a case of a love bi-polar
    Stuck on a roller coaster
    Can’t get off this ride

    You change your mind
    Like a girl changes clothes

    Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down
    You’re wrong when it’s right
    It’s black and it’s white
    We fight, we break up
    We kiss, we make up

    You’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down
    You’re wrong when it’s right
    It’s black and it’s white
    We fight, we break up
    We kiss, we make up

    You, you don’t really want to stay, no
    You, but you don’t really want to go-o
    You’re hot then you’re cold
    You’re yes then you’re no
    You’re in and you’re out
    You’re up and you’re down

  37. Anne says:

    Empowering and upbeat:

    Kelis – Trick Me

    Said I’ve paid my dues for all that I’ve done
    And I showed you that I loved you more than once
    Theres nothing left there to decide

    Said you might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice

    Freedom to us has always been a trick
    Freedom to u has always been who ever landed on your dick
    Seen it in you one too many times

    Said you might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice, no

    Hook:
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice, no
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice
    No I won’t let you trick me twice

    Vrs2:
    Those days are old and overdone
    And it’s only cause I’m not with you that you make me number one
    Though I may love you
    It hurts me deep inside and
    Now you no longer have to hide

    Rap:
    I used to be down with the late night hit
    Started gettin’ heavy when I really wasn’t ready
    Used my past to get in my mind
    So I felt for your lies like all the time
    I thought you were the shit to be playin’ around
    Call the police there’s a mad girl in town
    Couldn’t get even here without a sound
    It’s not how I wanna get down, Yeah

    Hook:
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice, no
    Might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice
    No, I won’t let you trick me twice
    No, I won’t let you trick me twice

    Well I’ve paid my dues for all that I’ve done
    And I showed you that I loved you more than once
    There’s nothing left there to decide

    Ooh, Trick me I won’t let you trick me twice
    You might trick me once
    I won’t let you trick me twice
    You might trick me once
    No I won’t let you trick me twice, no
    You might trick me once
    No I won’t let you trick me twice

  38. truthhurts says:

    This is from a dutch singer so you might not know it (it´s on youtube if interested) its about two people who cant be together because of who they are and she gets out of the relationship. So beautiful, sends chills down my spine.

    Ilse de Lange – The Great Escape

    Questions to embrace,
    feelings that you face,
    in this holy land.
    desert made of quicksand..
    Streets that lead you there,
    places of your fear.
    Some force pulls you in,
    the shadow world.

    By the time I made the great escape,
    I was falling, falling, falling from heaven.
    And every picture that I drew I saw
    you falling, falling, falling from heaven.

    From an empty face,
    the smile whiped away.
    Eyes that never see,
    blind the deepest me.
    Act a small charade,
    words you can’t explain.
    Silence louder than the doubt,
    lingers in the sound.

    By the time I made the great escape,
    I was falling, falling, falling from heaven.
    and every picture that I drew I saw
    you falling, falling, falling from heaven.
    I got down on my knees and pray I
    was calling, calling, calling to heaven.
    just the time I made the great escape
    I was falling, falling, falling from heaven.

    If you just talk to me…
    If you just look at me…
    We’ll be all right.

    Hope is the dream of a waking man

  39. Monica says:

    This old school Robbie Nevil, “Wot’s it to Ya?” is one of my favorites:

    Wasn’t it you I begged to stay ?
    Wasn’t it you who just laughed in my face ?
    Maybe it’s true I’m not your kind
    the kind you leave behind.

    And wasn’t it you all dressed in red ?
    Clutchin’ your suitcase
    never mind what you said.
    Suddenly you comin’ round again
    and you want to know how I’ve been.

    Wot’s it to ya ? Wot’s it to ya ?
    You don’t care for me or do you forget ?
    Wot’s it to ya ?
    I see through ya
    you only want something that you can’t get.

    Didn’t I try all day long ? Didn’t I try when all hope was gone ?
    Didn’t I cry
    didn’t I walk the floor ? No cry
    no more !

    Didn’t I wait all concerned ?
    Wishin’ and prayin’ you love would return.
    Now isn’t it her who I can’t resist ?
    And now you’re wonderin’ who she is.

    Wot’s it to ya ? Wot’s it to ya ?
    You don’t care for me or do you forget ?
    Wot’s it to ya ? Wot’s it to ya ?
    You don’t care for me or do you forget ?
    Wot’s it to ya ? Wot’s it to ya ?
    You don’t care for me or do you forget ?

  40. CDK says:

    Hey! There’s a new song out…it’s called Goodbye by Kristinia DeBarge. It’s simple, but way too perfect. Listen!!

    Am I supposed to put my life on hold
    because you don’t know how to act
    and you don’t know where your life is going
    Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a corner crying?
    Pardon me if I don’t show it
    I don’t care if I never see you again
    I’ll be alright
    Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
    but either way baby, I’m gone

    chorus:
    I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back
    Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering
    I got that new
    I’m a single girl swag
    Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it…… Sing!
    na na na na hey, na na na na hey
    hey hey hey
    goodbye
    na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
    hey hey hey
    goodbye

    Cut my hair ‘cuz it reminded me of you
    I know you like the long ‘do,
    had to switch my attitude up
    Thinkin’ of changing up how I ride, No more
    on the passenger side
    too bad you miss out on the way that I drive it
    I don’t care if I never see you again
    I’ll be alright
    Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
    but either way baby, I’m gone

    Chorus:
    I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back
    Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering
    I got that new
    I’m a single girl swag
    Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it…sing!
    na na na na, na na na na
    hey hey hey
    goodbye
    na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
    hey hey hey
    goodbye

    hey hey, hey hey hey
    goodbye

    Chorus:
    I’m so over it, I’ve been there and back
    Changed all my numbers and just in case you’re wondering
    I got that new
    I’m a single girl swag
    Got me with my girls and we’re singin’ it…. sing!
    na na na na hey, na na na na hey,
    hey hey hey
    goodbye
    na na na na, na na na na
    hey hey hey
    goodbye

    goodbye
    na na na na, na na na na
    hey hey hey
    goodbye
    na na na na, na na na na
    hey hey hey
    goodbye
    goodbye
    goodbye

  41. aphrogirl says:

    How did I ever miss this page !?!
    Heres one of my favorites, works so well as you work through changes

    Change the Locks
    Lucinda Williams

    I changed the lock on my front door so you can’t see me anymore
    And you can’t come inside my house, and you can’t flop down on my couch
    I changed the lock on my front door

    I changed the number on my phone so you can’t call me up at home
    And you can’t say those things to me that make me fall down on my knees
    I changed the number on my phone

    I changed the kind of car I drive so you can’t see me when I go by
    And you can’t chase me up the street, and you can’t knock me off of my feet
    I changed the kind of car I drive

    I changed the kind of clothes I wear so you can’t see me anywhere
    And you can’t spot me in a crowd, and you can’t call my name out loud
    I changed the kind of clothes I wear

    I changed the tracks underneath the train so you can’t find me again
    And you can’t trace my path, and you can’t hear my laugh
    And honey, I’m laughing all the time

    I changed the name of this town so you can’t follow me down
    And you can’t touch me like before, and you can’t make me want you more
    I changed the name of this town

    I changed the name of this town

  42. CDK says:

    Anything by Alannis Morissette is great for healing, moving on and being on your own. Right now, I’m lovin this song:

    Precious Illusions

    You’ll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did.
    I’ll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in.

    You’ll complete me right? then my life can finally begin.
    I’ll be worthy right? Only when you realize the gem I am?

    But this won’t work now the way it once did
    and I won’t keep it up even though I would love to
    once I know who I’m not then I’ll know who I am
    but I know I won’t keep on playing the victim

    these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was defenseless
    and parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

    this ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
    this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water

    but this won’t work as well as the way it once did
    cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
    and though I know who I’m not I still don’t know who I am
    but I know I won’t keep on playing the victim

    these precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
    and parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

    I’ve spent so long firmly looking outside me
    I’ve spent so much time living in survival mode

  43. Shallysha says:

    keyshia Cole- “Gotta get my heart back” – to the way it used to be, the way I used to feel before I met you ( I don’t have time to search for the lyrics)…. I think sad love songs keep you sad. Gotta celebrate being siongle because there is nothing better than being YOU. Being single is a million times better than being a fallback girl, so don’t give up on YOU.

  44. PlanetJane says:

    Ani Difranco

    Manhole

    I’m holding here a book
    Notable, but not the greatest
    Stolen for me by the latest
    In a long line of thieves
    And I’m just about to drop it
    Down that manhole of memories
    When I realize it doesn’t bother me
    Like love’s mementos usually do
    And I look up to see who’s different here
    The latest me or the latest you

    Course, you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t lie
    He just doctors everything
    Chooses some unassuming finger
    And quietly moves his wedding ring
    Who rewrites his autobiography
    For any pretty girl who’ll sing
    But you can’t fool the queen, baby
    Cuz I married the king

    And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
    With no opposite reality
    Like a puddle with no reflection
    Of the sky or the trees
    But after my dreaded beheading
    I tied that sucker back on with a string
    And I guess I’m pretty different now
    Considering

    I kissed you on the street that night
    On the far side of four
    But I didn’t like the taste
    In my mouth or yours
    And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
    For once I had the balls to call it
    Just call it
    But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned
    And the clarity to see and stop this now
    That is what I’ve earned

    And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
    With no opposite reality
    Like a puddle with no reflection
    Of the sky or the trees
    But after my dreaded beheading
    I tied that sucker back on with a string
    And I guess I’m pretty different now
    Considering

    I’m holding here a book
    Notable, but not the greatest
    Stolen for me by the latest
    In a long line of thieves
    And I’m just about to drop it
    Down that manhole of memories
    When I realize it doesn’t bother me
    And heartache not so dire
    Cuz I looked up to see integrity
    Finally won over desire

  45. Columbia says:

    The freakin ANTHEM of the EUM:

    “What do you want from me” Adam Lambert

    Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
    Whataya want from me
    Yeah I’m afraid whataya want from me
    Whataya want from me

    There might have been a time
    And I would give myself away
    Oooh once upon a time I didn’t give a damn
    But now, here we are so whataya want from me
    Whataya want from me

    Just don’t give up I’m workin it out
    Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
    It messed me up, need a second to breathe
    Just keep coming around
    Hey, whataya want from me
    Whataya want from me
    Whataya want from me

    Yeah, it’s plain to see (plain to see)
    That baby you’re beautiful
    And it’s nothing wrong with you
    (Nothing wrong with you)
    It’s me, I’m a freak (yeah)
    But thanks for lovin’ me
    Cause you’re doing it perfectly
    (It perfectly)

    There might have been a time
    When I would let you step away
    I wouldn’t even try
    But I think you could save my life

    Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
    Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
    It messed me up, need a second to breathe
    Just keep comin around
    Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
    Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

    Just don’t give up on me
    (Uuuuuuh) I won’t let you down
    No, I won’t let you down

    (So I) just don’t give up
    I’m workin it out
    Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
    It messed me up (It messed me up)
    Need a second to breathe
    Just keep coming around
    Hey, whataya want from me

    Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
    Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
    It messed me up, need a second to breathe
    Just keep coming around
    Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
    Whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
    Whataya want from me

My Book - Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

Stop believing that you did something to make them unavailable or that their inadequacies are down to your inadequacies - it is not about you; they are unavailable!

My Book - Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

Stop believing that you did something to make them unavailable or that their inadequacies are down to your inadequacies - it is not about you; they are unavailable!