Relationship Advice: How do I forgive my narcissist ex and my friend for flirting and the private dance?
June 17, 2008 by NML · 14 Comments
Angela asks “About a year ago, I went with my emotionally unavailable, narcissist ex, whom I was so deeply in love with, to see my “best friend” of about 6 years. She was graduating with her degree and exhibiting her work, so I went to see her, asking him to come along for the trip. After the show, we went to her bar where she worked, and on the car ride there, he began asking her for directions. Being already drunk, my friend began acting and saying obnoxious things, to which he began yelling, calling her names, and to which she yelled back. It became obvious there was some sexual, flirtatious tension in it all, which I definitely noticed.
When we arrived at her bar, she began dancing on the bar, drinking more, etc. He would not come inside, sending his friend to tell me he was sorry, etc.
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Relationship Advice: He’s abusive and possibly a narcissist but I love him. Will he change?
June 12, 2008 by NML · 7 Comments
Steph recently contacted me with regards to her ex boyfriend. They broke up more than six months ago but she can’t get over it. Like the typical Mr Unavailable, there was an amazing first month and then he seemed to transform into a bit of a nightmare.
He could be verbally abusive, flying into rages, lying, suddenly only having time for partying with his friends, abusing alcohol and drugs, and even occasional physical attacks on his friends (yeah I know, this guy is a real catch!). He even claims that he owns the town and can make her life hell, which may go beyond the usual ‘narcissistic tendencies’ I associate with typical Mr Unavallable’s.
Steph blames herself for the end of their relationship and rationalises his behaviour with the belief that “nobody is perfect”.
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What drives a Drama Seekers need for attention and Relationship Crack?
April 1, 2008 by NML · 5 Comments
Yesterday in my first post in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, the theme of attention came up repeatedly.
The type of woman that finds herself knee deep in drama all the time is seeking attention. Like a celebrity, for her, attention is attention and when the relationship is at it’s most dramatic, for that period of time she will feel like the centre of his universe and the focal point of his attention, regardless of whether it is positive or negative. This is your Relationship Crack.
If you are a Drama Seeker, accidental or otherwise, you’ve come to crave the type of attention that can only be derived from unhealthy relationships.
So how did you get here?
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Drama Seekers: It’s time to get off the relationship crack
March 31, 2008 by NML · 4 Comments
Today is the very first day in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series.
Lot’s of women believe that drama is part and parcel of relationships. Some are purposeful Drama Seekers, actively pursuing men that cater to the high adrenaline factor, but there are a hell of a lot of women out there that are ‘Accidental’ Drama Seekers.
You say you want to be happy. You say you want to settle down. You say you want to have better relationships. You say you want to stop being men with an emotional age that’s in the minus category. You say you are sick and tired of the same sh*t, different man, yet…it’s Here We Go Again Time.
You just seem to have a lot of drama going on in your relationships.
Your actions and relationships are in contradiction with what you profess to want. You actively pursue relationships you say you don’t want. You are heavily emotionally invested in relationships you say you don’t want.
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