After a breakup or a period of being single, many people struggle with getting back out there again, ‘there’ being into the dating pool. Whether it’s because they’re unsure of themselves after a period of grieving or that the last time they dated was pre-internet and booty calls, or they’ve gotten very used to their space and are fearful of risking it in a new ‘venture’, or just that they have their newfound boundaries or even assclown radar turned up on high, these people are struggling with the dating equivalent of writer’s block.
Dater’s Block is when you end up with a sort of paralysis about proceeding with dating. Primary concerns are wondering whether you’re ready to date again, being fearful of getting it wrong, and even more pressing, whether you’re going to get burned again. It’s actually at the point where you’re reaching readiness, or where you’ve already tentatively dipped your toe in or have even met somebody, where Dater’s Block is most likely to strike. Dater’s Block runs on fear. It’s fear of change possibly including fear of being done with your previous relationship. It’s fear of effing up and disappointment, fear of using up the one chance you’ve given yourself, fear that the next relationship might go somewhere and you might not be ready or perfect enough, or that if you go ahead with this person you haven’t even met yet, that you could end up missing out on something better, or that in twenty years time it might be over and you might kick yourself. [Read more…]