Morphing: Trying to fit in too much with your man
Yesterday I wrote about common ground and how we have to be careful of placing too much emphasis on our belief that we have so much in common with a man, when in reality, if he’s not in the relationship with both feet or has already bolted, you don’t share the right common ground.
Because we find it all too easy to sideline ourselves, two things can happen that are dangerous:
But we have so much in common! That shaky ‘ole common ground in relationships
I was scanning my backlog of emails from readers looking for advice, most it about a chump that is totally not worth their while and I could not believe the number of women who said they had so much in common with their guys.
The sheer numbers of you that profess common interests like golf, reading, music, books, outdoors, cooking, eating, DIY (you doing work on his place for free whilst he actually treats you poorly), only seeing each other when it’s dark once a week, walking dogs, making you laugh, molecular science, and yada, yada, yada, is damn well terrifying.
Why don’t women enjoy a healthy relationship after leaving a damaging one?
On Thursday I wrote about how expending energy better used elsewhere discussing and talking and explaining to men who are not worthy of your time is a futile exercise and stalling strategy where we as women get to avoid making a decision and doing something about our problems.
As I read through the comments, an age-old problem repeatedly reared its head:
Women who have a relationship history of being in inappropriate relationships with assclowns and other such men, do not know how to have or appreciate a relationship with a decent man.
What drives a Drama Seekers need for attention and Relationship Crack?
Second Best syndrome - I come across a lot of women who are for example, The Other Woman and they are used to coming second because they may have grown up in a house where they believed that another sibling was loved more than them, or they just generally had to compete with something or someone for their parents attention…. Even if you were not emotionally unavailable yourself when you met a Mr Unavailable for instance, unless you realise what you’re dealing with and get out quickly, it is very difficult not to leave the relationship emotionally unavailable yourself because they almost end up teaching you a whole new relationship style.
Drama Seekers: It’s time to get off the relationship crack
The first post in NML’s 30 Days of Drama Reduction series gives an intro to drama explaining why you may be seeking out drama and much of it is perpetuated by insecurity and a quest for validation, attention, and that special feeling from ‘Relationship Crack’.
