Reader Question: Is it normal to want revenge on my married assclown?
I always thought I was such an intelligent woman with an astounding amount of common sense, until reading Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl.
Is it normal to want revenge on “my” assclown?
I work with him, so we have contact all day long. I want to expose him somehow, some way. After putting “2 and 2″ together, I think (know) he’s cheating on me and his wife.
Sometimes I feel like I’m starting to go off the deep end and want to follow him or have one of my friends spy on him. If I could just know for a fact that he is shagging someone else besides me and his wife, I feel that it might finally get me to the “absolutely pissed off” stage I need to be at to push him out of my life. He’s quite the charmer and I am starving for attention so it’s always back and forth with him. Story is waaaaayyyyy too long to go into detail but right now I’m feeling extremely pathetic and want revenge. Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Advice: Help! I’m the Other Woman to the Other Woman - Does this sound like a man in love?
Amy asks: My situation involves a married man (my high school sweetheart) and an affair. Three years ago we ‘reconnected’ after 40 years. Both of us it seemed, were in unfulfilling marriages and we had a 2 year affair. The contact physically was brief…a 3-4 hour drive for both of us, 2 hours in a sleezy hotel and then return to our homes. Even in high school this boy was never really ‘there’ for me. He made up some lame excuse not to take me to my senior prom…after he’d promised he’d go. He generally treated me poorly even then, not calling for weeks and weeks at a time, etc.
Understanding the The Cheater
In this excerpt from new eBook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, I give an insight into what is running through the mind of The Cheater, the man who likes to have his cake and eat it too, whilst lying on it and promising the world….
The Mr Unavailable that cheats is a special breed. This guy has made it down the aisle or appears to be in some form of committed relationship (or at least his partner thinks so!). But this doesn’t make him any less emotionally unavailable. The mistake that the Other Woman makes with these men is assuming that because these men appear to be committed to someone else, that these are the type of men that commit, and that they’ll eventually commit to her. It is possible for Mr Unavailable’s to be in relationships or even married. It doesn’t change who they are, it’s just that for whatever reason they have chosen to take the plunge. It could be through fear, it could be through a desperate urge to keep that one woman who wouldn’t tolerate his behaviour and made him jump through hoops, or he could even have found himself trapped. It could be for any number of reasons but for whatever reason, he hasn’t changed, or if he did, he has now reverted back to his old self. It is not a victory to get an emotionally unavailable man down the aisle. If he’s not married but is cheating, it’s very possible that the woman that he’s in a relationship with is clutching at straws with him too. The reality is that there are a lot of people out there who are prepared to believe that they are in a committed relationship, even when they aren’t. If you’re reading this book, you are one of them!
Relationship Advice: Help! He’s left his wife but I’m still the Other Woman!
Rachel asks “Two years ago I started having an affair with a married man. I never thought that I would spend two years with this MM but I fell in love and I listened to the promises he made when we first met and all of the ‘if only’s’. He was the one that pursued me.
Actually he did leave her about five months ago and he gave me some lame story about how we need to wait a bit because he doesn’t want to give her reason to come after even more of his money and like a fool I believed him. But something didn’t ring true and he wasn’t spending any more time with me, in fact it was less.
What should I do? I have invested too much of my time to just walk away but it seems like he only wants me on the side and I want more than that! Why has he chosen her and not me?”
How to end up being the Other Woman
I’m currently working on the chapter about the Other Woman for my book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, and I have put together a list of reasons why the Other Woman may find herself in this dubious understudy role: You’ll find yourself in this dubious understudy role if: You have had a painful break-up or divorc e that has left you feeling distrusting of relationships or men…. We’re too busy thinking what must be wrong at his end to concern ourselves with the fact that if he’s screwing around behind someone else’s back, not only is it a poor indicator of his character, but it’s a poor indicator of how he regards you…
Being The Other Woman - The Lessons I Learnt - Part 3
Last week in part one, I talked about how you’re an escape from reality, that all the cheating guys are liars, that the situation is far from being unique, that these guys are manipulators, that they rarely leave their wives or girlfriends, and that as women we treat the dysfunctional relationship we have with these [...]
Being The Other Woman - The Lessons I Learnt - Part 2
Yesterday, in the first of my three part series about what I’ve learned about being the Other Woman (OW), I talked about how you’re an escape from reality, that all the cheating guys are liars, that the situation is far from being unique, that these guys are manipulators, that they rarely leave their wives or [...]
Being The Other Woman - The Lessons I Learnt - Part 1
I was watching Oprah today (a luxury of being on maternity leave…) and it was a brilliant episode on the touchy subject of being the Other Woman (OW), the often exciting but even more excruciating understudy role that so many women take up. I must admit that I was surprised when Oprah revealed that she [...]
Advice: Why her and not me? The other woman gone very wrong
“I met a guy at work, who at the time had a long distance relationship going on 5 years. We somehow started talking at work and soon, we were IMing all day long. At the beginning, I had no feelings for him. He was just a cool guy at work that I started talking to. [...]
Why women cheat
Over on AskMen they are discussing Why Women Cheat and naturally I have my own take on it.
For a start, harsh as this may sound to men, it takes a LOT for a woman to cheat. Much like how most women have more of an emotional journey about the act of sex, it’s quite a [...]
