If you’ve ever dealt with somebody who borrows money from you but doesn’t repay it or even asks you for more money, then you not only have an idea of how damn frustrating it is to be guilted by someone who’s messing you around but also what it’s like to be in a casual relationship that you didn’t agree to.
Here’a a money scenario:
Jane thinks that her and Peter are friends so when Peter asks if he can borrow some money with assurances about how and when he will pay it back including suggesting that he will pay interest on top, she thinks that it’s a no-brainer. They agree that he’ll pay it back each week and at first this is what happens with him even at one point claiming that he would pay it back earlier all in one go, but then it becomes every couple of weeks, then a month and so on, until Jane asks him what’s going on. He talks about how busy he’s been and how he’s got a few things going on that he needs the money for, so instead of paying it back as agreed, it’s now going to take longer (and he’s spending the money elsewhere). He tells her that he’d wanted to tell her but was worried about how she would react.
Jane feels uneasy about the arrangement but gives him the benefit of the doubt plus she doesn’t want to appear uptight or even endanger the possibility of him paying it back at all. Peter doesn’t pay her back as agreed and it drags out. When she puts her foot down about lending him anymore money, he says that she’s being impatient and judging him unfairly. Eventually she realises that she’s being neither of these things and that she’s been more than fair–she’s just not obliged to continue lending money. Him, for instance, calling her a “bad friend” for being unwilling to always bail him out financially, is not only unfair and untrue but it neglects to take into account where he is enjoying the benefits of her investment and good nature while only giving the bare minimum in return. It’s a bit like taking out a loan and agreeing to pay that back plus interest but only paying back the interest–sure, you’re giving something but it’s not what was agreed.