Reader Question: Is it normal to want revenge on my married assclown?
I always thought I was such an intelligent woman with an astounding amount of common sense, until reading Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl.
Is it normal to want revenge on “my” assclown?
I work with him, so we have contact all day long. I want to expose him somehow, some way. After putting “2 and 2″ together, I think (know) he’s cheating on me and his wife.
Sometimes I feel like I’m starting to go off the deep end and want to follow him or have one of my friends spy on him. If I could just know for a fact that he is shagging someone else besides me and his wife, I feel that it might finally get me to the “absolutely pissed off” stage I need to be at to push him out of my life. He’s quite the charmer and I am starving for attention so it’s always back and forth with him. Story is waaaaayyyyy too long to go into detail but right now I’m feeling extremely pathetic and want revenge. Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Relationship Advice: I want to confront the Other Woman and thump her! How do I deal with my anger?
Kim asks: I recently found out that my boyfriend has been screwing some girl from his work for more than a year behind my back. I found out when she turned up at my place telling me that he wants to leave but he doesn’t know how. I was speechless at first and then I found myself literally physically throwing her out of my apartment. I think she was going to fight me, but I slammed the door behind me too quickly for her. Anyway, I confronted him and he actually lied initially (he said she was obsessive with a crush) and then admitted it when I threatened to break everything in his house.
So it’s over now because I can’t live with a cheat. The thing is, I am still mad at this girl and it has been all I can do to stop myself from going to her work and thumping the living daylights out of her. She has taken my man! I’m sure that she pulled some moves on him, strutting around with her perky t*ts and short skirts and whilst I know he’s his own man, men aren’t clever enough to avoid the charms of women like her that want to steal away other women’s men. My mother always told me that a guy is only as faithful as whatever options he has and that they don’t have it in them to resist temptation. I do think about taking him back sometimes (he keeps calling me) but I actually think about her more. I came across your blog when I read about the Other Woman and I know that you have some strong opinions about the sisterhood and confrontation but can you understand why I am so angry at her? How do I deal with this?
Relationship advice: Why is she the girlfriend and I’m the Fallback Girl/Other Woman?
Cheryl has been in touch with me on and off since last year. Here’s the situation:
Cheryl has a male friend, let’s call him Bob. Bob and Cheryl have been ‘friends’ for several years. She has supported him emotionally through his various trials and tribulations and was in love with him the whole time, but knew that he didn’t want a relationship. Naturally, being a Mr Unavailable, Bob not only had an ego massage on tap, but they also started sleeping together.
Cheryl assumed that by sticking at his side and showing her support, that she would be first in line when his various problems were sorted and he was ready for a relationship. In true Mr Unavailable style though, he announced that he had a girlfriend towards the end of last year…
Relationship Advice: Should I tell my boyfriend that I’ve been cheating on him?
Zoe, the first thing I always ask when people want to get on the confessional is to examine their reasons for wanting to unload their secrets: Are you telling him because you want to be truthful so that you can live your relationship from an honest place and feel he deserves to know the truth?… You want to know if you should tell your boyfriend that you’ve been cheating - If you are certain that you want to pursue a relationship with this guy and that it’s not over, it’s time to fess up.
Guest Post: The Cheating Detective: Whatever happened to following your gut?
I was reading an old article of Cosmopolitan about a woman that’s carved a business out of being a cheating detective. She’s like a private eye with a twist! For about three to five grand, she will consult with you about your man, learn his hangouts and type of chicks he likes, and then set up a sting operation to catch him cheating. The level of cheating depends on you and how much you are willing to front, with some women going up to $10,000 asking her to set up their men in all kinds of situations.
Advice: Do emotionally unavailable men change or should we just have an open marriage?
“I’ve been involved with an EUM man now for 15 years. I was only 23 when we met. We’ve had 4 children together. The last 3 yrs were very difficult. Deaths in the family, problems with a son. He started blaming not being intimate with me on everything from work, to the kids, feeling sick, [...]
Being The Other Woman - The Lessons I Learnt - Part 2
Yesterday, in the first of my three part series about what I’ve learned about being the Other Woman (OW), I talked about how you’re an escape from reality, that all the cheating guys are liars, that the situation is far from being unique, that these guys are manipulators, that they rarely leave their wives or [...]
Advice: Why her and not me? The other woman gone very wrong
“I met a guy at work, who at the time had a long distance relationship going on 5 years. We somehow started talking at work and soon, we were IMing all day long. At the beginning, I had no feelings for him. He was just a cool guy at work that I started talking to. [...]
Why women cheat
Over on AskMen they are discussing Why Women Cheat and naturally I have my own take on it.
For a start, harsh as this may sound to men, it takes a LOT for a woman to cheat. Much like how most women have more of an emotional journey about the act of sex, it’s quite a [...]
Don’t Date Her/Him - More Like Stop Bitching
I remember that scene in Sex and The City where Samantha went around NYC taping posters of cheating Richard on lampposts. The female cop warns her that it’s against the law to fly post but Samantha tells her that she caught him going down on another woman and the cop tells her to go ahead. [...]
