Giving Love Requires the Emotional Generosity of Empathy and Compassion

Loving somebody takes knowledge and understanding. As a result, we experience love when we practise vulnerability, compassion and empathy, so to love is giving. We actively choose not to let fear dominate. Love, the feeling and verb, takes investment. We have to be...

The story isn’t the same as the truth

Don’t get too caught up in the story. When you’ve experienced hurt, loss and disappointment, it’s easy to become swaddled in the security blanket of the pain. You get used to telling the story in a particular way. And then you repeat it, again and again, and...

Podcast Ep. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried Communication

When we embark on creating healthier boundaries, it means that we have to put our needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions about our preferences, principles and priorities into action. We have to communicate through our actions, intentions and words what is...
Is It Time To Get Off The Rehashing Express?

Is It Time To Get Off The Rehashing Express?

When we keep rehashing something, we’re either too caught up in hearing what we want to hear, replaying a ‘backing track’ that makes us small, angry and resentful, or hoping to be struck by new insight. When disappointed, wronged and hurt, talking...

Advice Wednesday: How Do I Stop Shaming Me Over My Past Relationships?

Livia asks: Like many of your readers, I came to the realisation that I’ve dated an emotionally unavailable man (Mr Unavailable) for 6 years, plus I’ve realised that he’s not the only one in my past. I recently broke up with him, and I’m committed to that...