Why We Feel Shaken and Like We Did a Bad Thing After Asserting Ourselves

It’s not uncommon, especially when you’re new to creating healthier boundaries through being more honest about who you are, including expressing limits, saying no, or articulating what you need, want and expect, to feel shaken by your assertiveness. You might...

Beware Being An Emotional Dumpster or Airbag and Know Your Limits

When we pride ourselves on being kind, generous, supportive and giving, it often feels necessary to ‘be there’ for others. It then feels super confusing when we feel overloaded, resentful, exhausted and the like.We might become convinced that we’re a Bad Person....

Having Needs and Boundaries Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person

Guilt is that sense you have of having committed a wrongdoing.Now, as feelings aren’t facts, feeling you’ve done something wrong isn’t the same as actually having done something wrong. Never is this more clear when you notice you are feeling guilty for: ...

Guilt and Why There’s No Need to Be the Over-Responsible ‘Bad Guy’

If, as a child, you were given (or assumed) responsibility for others’ feelings and behaviour, you may ‘over-feel’, leading to painful codependent relationships. You won’t know where you end and others begin because you feel excessively emotionally responsible...
Boundaries and Why You Need to Watch Out for “Well-Meaning” People

Boundaries and Why You Need to Watch Out for “Well-Meaning” People

The more I talk to people about healthy boundaries, the more I see that many of us humans are hung up on being perceived as well-meaning. So we avoid creating healthy boundaries that we think will make us look bad. We also wrestle with ourselves about conveying our...