No Ex On The First Date
March 20, 2008 by NML · 3 Comments
You’re on a date. You’re both nervous and you make polite chit chat. Maybe you order a drink and loosen up a little and you’re both tentatively finding out about each other. You start talking about dating/relationships/how you’ve come to be on this date and somehow the conversation slips into the shock infested waters of Ex Territory. Now I don’t care how you got to the conversation, exes do not belong on dates in any way, shape, or form, and certainly not on the first few. If you talk about your ex you might as well have brought them along with you and plomped them in between the two of you.
The most common misconception about asking about exes or blabbing about them is that people believe it’s an opportunity for either party to find out how the other ticks within relationships. People think that you can find out how ready a person is for a relationship, whether they are looking for something serious or searching for a shag, whether they are crazy, and how they think this person will behave if they were in a relationship with them. Now I’m not saying it’s impossible to glean some information from conversations like these but there are two factors that skew any information that you get:
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Advice: How do I meet men? Meeting men when you’re conflicted and avoiding a serious relationship
January 21, 2008 by NML · 5 Comments
“Lately I’ve been having some doubts about where to meet men because I’m tired of clubs. All the guys there just want a “one night stand”, and most of the time they’re kind of drunk so that’s not cool … I want more maybe not a serious relationship but a guy you can date a couple times and have a good time with… I’m not really old enough to turn to a dating website and I don’t feel lonely cause I don’t have a guy right now…”
NML says: The trouble is that you’re in conflict. You say you want to meet guys that aren’t just trying to get into your knickers but you don’t want a serious relationship, and ideally you want someone you can go and have a couple of dates with. On top of this you want him to behave like a man who is having fun but not too much fun. This is why you are struggling because you want too much out of something that you profess to want little more than two dates out of.
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Advice: Do men like it when women make the first move? And how much interest should I show?
January 14, 2008 by NML · 25 Comments
Canada asks “Why is it that some men really like it when a girl shows interest in him, and others although flattered by it, seem to hold it against her?
Let me explain: I had a friend who asked a guy out by getting his number and sending him a text message inviting him for coffee. The guy was a bit shy to ask her out himself. He felt flattered and went out with her. They are in a great, respectful relationship.
I, on the other hand, don’t usually chase after a guy or go up to a guy first, but one day I had seen this new guy I had wanted to meet and stood with some of his friends (who I also know) chatting. He wasn’t there at the time; but when he came back to where his friends where, he stood next to me and after about five minutes, introduced himself to me, and we had a really great conversation.
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