If you’ve ever experienced rejection and thought, I can’t believe that YOU don’t want ME, this episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is for you.
I talk about five typical scenarios where this mentality shows up, including:
- When we actually know that we have dropped our standards and so feel rejected because if someone who is shady doesn’t want us, we think that it says something about our worthiness as a person
- When we feel as if we’re putting so much of us out there and were secretly hoping that we could have the fairy tale where we decide to make a change and think everything should go our way on our first try
- When we on some level recognise that the person who we feel turned down by is similar to a parent/caregiver or someone else who is significant from our earlier life and so it feels extra wounding
I also talk about:
- Why the all-or-nothing mentality accentuates the pain we feel from rejection
- Why the person who rejects us the most is, well, us
- Why rejection is always going to be a deep source of pain if we never say no ourselves, or have boundaries, or in fact, own our right to choose and be discerning
- Why we have to recognise that if we want, for example, commitment, consistency, intimacy and the person we want doesn’t, then of course we’re going to experience rejection, but it’s not us they’re rejecting–they’re turning down doing the things that they don’t want to do
Links mentioned in the episode
- Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl
- How our perceived entitlement to what we want is keeping us stuck and why we need to challenge what we believe we’re owed
- Blind Spots Block The Relationship You Want
- Whose Moral Compass Are You? The Conscience Wingman
- Episode 84 where I talk about discernment
- You’re Not The Only One Who’s Afraid of Rejection
- Perspective Takes The Sting Out Of Rejection: It’s Broken, You’re Not
- Quit Seeking A ‘ Rejection Retraction’
- Advice Wednesday: Why Do I Have A Pattern of Valuing People Who Don’t Value Me?
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