Empathy and Allowing Ourselves to Say No Mustn’t Be Based on Status

If you believe you have to like someone in order to empathise, your version of “empathy”, of recognising others, comes from your sense of whether you like and value them. That’s a status judgement. A part of you, on some level, considers whether you...

The Truth About No: Receiving “No” Doesn’t Mean You’ve Done Something Wrong

Here’s an all too common scenario: Person A goes on a date with Person B. Person A thinks they came across well and that they both had a good time. Despite seemingly positive signals on the date(s), Person B says they’re not interested in further dates. Or maybe they...

Taking Things Personally: What Is It, and How Do We Stop?

Since I started writing Baggage Reclaim, I’ve become increasingly mindful of where I tend to take things personally. These instances always point back at old hurts and narratives that I need to confront in some way. Of course, I’m not alone in taking things...
The Relationship or Situation Not Working Might Hurt, but It Isn’t a ‘Waste’

The Relationship or Situation Not Working Might Hurt, but It Isn’t a ‘Waste’

When you feel hurt and disappointed, a deep sense of loss can kick in. Like when you’re in the aftermath of a breakup. You might believe that your efforts were a waste because you may have invested months or years. Or maybe you compromised yourself by doing...

Why do we get upset and offended when people decline our invitation?

As part of NPR’s Life Kit series on Instagram where they attempt to answer dilemmas in under one minute, I recently gave my advice on a wedding situation. The future sister-in-law was a maybe on attending the wedding because her child possibly had a recital that...