Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: Out July 8th
July 1, 2008 by NML · 2 Comments
There has been a slight delay but I can definitively confirm that the book will be available to buy from the 8th of July!
Here’s a bit about what the book is about:
When a woman finds herself in a relationship with Mr Unavailable, that emotionally distant, commitment shy guy, she wonders what she has done wrong or what she needs to do in order to ‘get’ him. She may not realise that she is a Fallback Girl, the person that Mr Unavailable relies or ‘falls back’ on to massage his ego and cater to all of his idiosyncrasies, whilst he contributes little or nothing to the relationship. She is one of an alarming number of women who either fail to recognise the situation until it’s too late or feel that they are stuck in what seems an impossible pattern of relationship behaviour.
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Guest post: Love’s Antihero - Insatiable Restless Souls
June 5, 2008 by NML · 2 Comments
I had to share this poem written by Baggage Reclaim reader Elizabeth Scott a Fallback Girl who has been reading this blog for the past six months. She wanted to say thank you and share her poem, which captures the essence of the emotional stone wall, that is being involved with a Mr Unavailable.
Running from the arms of one yet to another
Desperate for love, but afraid to smother
Restless souls whose passion briefly burns bright
Quickly fading to ash in the dawn of real love’s light
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Are we dating our fathers? That familiar “daddy feeling”
May 7, 2008 by NML · 14 Comments
In another excerpt from Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: Book Two (I promise to explain the when’s, how’s and the delay), I explore the all too familiar “daddy feeling” - Basing many of your relationships and dating choices on unresolved issues and beliefs that derive from your relationship (or lack thereof) with your father and unknowingly creating a familiar comfortable (yet still uncomfortable) feeling in your adult relationships.
“With parental relationships, it can all be about setting the tone. You may or may not have a good relationship with your mother, but your chances of having a bad relationship with yourself and future partners, further increases with a dubious interaction with your own father or strong male figure.
The pattern of systematically being involved with emotionally unavailable men can be deep rooted due to patterns that we have learnt in our childhood. It doesn’t have to be an absentee father or a ‘bad’ father; it may just be that the significant male figure in our life didn’t express his emotions or made you work hard for his attentions and affections, and for all intents and purposes, he was emotionally unavailable.
It’s called going after what you know.
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Betting On Potential in Relationships
May 6, 2008 by NML · 13 Comments
This is an excerpt from…Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl Book Two. Yes it has been delayed a bit…more on that very soon but here is an excerpt from the chapter ‘Betting on Potential’ - one of the recurrent destructive behaviours that keep Fallback Girls rooted in dubious relationships…
“Potential is something that should be derived from the promise of actual actions that have already occurred, not the blinkered fairy tale in your head. Potential is about the potential of the relationship, NOT the potential of what the guy could be if only x, y, and z were to occur. Here is the difference:
You should see potential in a relationship that has the positive hallmarks of a relationship with direction. This normally occurs because both parties are getting to know each other, there is consistency, there is no ambiguity, there is communication of feelings, and both parties have both their feet in the relationship.
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