Comments on: Ten Christmas Survival Tips for the heartbroken, and lovers of asscowns and Mr Unavailable’s – Part Two http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:03:06 +0200 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Astelle http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212545 Astelle Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:24:24 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212545 Lisa, NML 's post from today explains it all. Make sure your friend reads it. Lisa, NML ‘s post from today explains it all. Make sure your friend reads it.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212543 Rachel Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:10:50 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212543 Lisa, To answer your question more directly ..... I think that when she does not respond he will contact her eventually just to get a stroke. Just to see if she still thinks about him. He is expecting to hear from her again in my opinion. When he does not he will throw out some bait eventually. Lisa,
To answer your question more directly ….. I think that when she does not respond he will contact her eventually just to get a stroke. Just to see if she still thinks about him. He is expecting to hear from her again in my opinion. When he does not he will throw out some bait eventually.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212532 Rachel Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:39:17 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212532 Lisa, Thats how I read it ... these guys love drama they love having a woman in misery. Its like he dumped her before she could dump him... His comment to her put him in control more than it gave her control. “it was best that they go their separate ways because he could give her what she wanted or deserved and that he needed to be fair about this” and he would always remember the times they had over the years. Talk about tugging on the heart strings! She really ought to call his BLUFF and not contact him for any reason - to agree or disagree for he is waiting for a response. For once she should take him at his word and be done with this clown. IF she goes back for closure she will end up feeling really empty. He will make her feel as if she is too demanding or needy or what have you. Its not worth it he will get one shot in at makeing her feel like crap. Lisa,

Thats how I read it … these guys love drama they love having a woman in misery. Its like he dumped her before she could dump him… His comment to her put him in control more than it gave her control. “it was best that they go their separate ways because he could give her what she wanted or deserved and that he needed to be fair about this” and he would always remember the times they had over the years. Talk about tugging on the heart strings! She really ought to call his BLUFF and not contact him for any reason – to agree or disagree for he is waiting for a response. For once she should take him at his word and be done with this clown. IF she goes back for closure she will end up feeling really empty. He will make her feel as if she is too demanding or needy or what have you. Its not worth it he will get one shot in at makeing her feel like crap.

]]> By: lisa http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212531 lisa Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:21:26 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212531 Rachel I will assume based on your post regarding my friend that you believe this fool(and really wish she would recognize him for what he is a fool) will eventually contact her? Because when she sent me the email he sent to her he uses the word Maybe as the first word in the sentence that tells her about going their separate ways. This let's me know only because I am an outsider and have no emotional investment that the man is very unsure if this is the route he really wants to take with her. If he were absolutly sure about this he would have said something to the effect of you need to move on and forget about me or it's over i never want to see you again. This is why I believe he is waiting for her to either agree with what he has said and move on or she'll just tell him that they can continue with what is currently going on. Rachel

I will assume based on your post regarding my friend that you believe this fool(and really wish she would recognize him for what he is a fool) will eventually contact her? Because when she sent me the email he sent to her he uses the word Maybe as the first word in the sentence that tells her about going their separate ways. This let’s me know only because I am an outsider and have no emotional investment that the man is very unsure if this is the route he really wants to take with her. If he were absolutly sure about this he would have said something to the effect of you need to move on and forget about me or it’s over i never want to see you again.

This is why I believe he is waiting for her to either agree with what he has said and move on or she’ll just tell him that they can continue with what is currently going on.

]]> By: Astelle http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212530 Astelle Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:19:53 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212530 Lisa,no, she won't hear from him, unless SHE makes the contact (Let's hope she doesn't) and then the game is back on and it will be worse because now she would really be chasing him and no boundaries for him. Yeah, no EUM can resist that offer :) I am just saying no he won't make contact, we don't know yet what he will do. Lisa, you gave her good advice and hpefully she will leave him alone. years down the road she may hear from him if he can't find anybody else. Lisa,no, she won’t hear from him, unless SHE makes the contact (Let’s hope she doesn’t) and then the game is back on and it will be worse because now she would really be chasing him and no boundaries for him. Yeah, no EUM can resist that offer :)

I am just saying no he won’t make contact, we don’t know yet what he will do. Lisa, you gave her good advice and hpefully she will leave him alone.

years down the road she may hear from him if he can’t find anybody else.

]]> By: Grace http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212528 Grace Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:55:12 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212528 I agree. When I told my guy to not get in touch any more, he didn't. And I was disappointed, because I wanted him to, and wanted him to come back saying he'd changed (as if!!!!) But men generally do what they say they will, particularly when you ask them to! So she needs to be rid of him, for sure. I agree. When I told my guy to not get in touch any more, he didn’t. And I was disappointed, because I wanted him to, and wanted him to come back saying he’d changed (as if!!!!) But men generally do what they say they will, particularly when you ask them to! So she needs to be rid of him, for sure.

]]> By: NML http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212526 NML Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:42:12 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212526 Hey Lisa. You definitely gave her the right advice - I am going to use this subject as the theme for today's post because it is one of the most frequent questions and as you rightly pointed out, it's what Fallback Girls love to get hung up on...but for the wrong reasons! x Hey Lisa. You definitely gave her the right advice – I am going to use this subject as the theme for today’s post because it is one of the most frequent questions and as you rightly pointed out, it’s what Fallback Girls love to get hung up on…but for the wrong reasons! x

]]> By: Rachel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212523 Rachel Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:05:00 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212523 You gave her the right advice. This is just a game these ass clowns play knowing she will not leave him alone...but his statement gives him a license to be an ass to her. Basically he is saying to her "Take the crumbs I give you or get out because I do not want to give you anymore than that" He is telling her he can live without her unless she wants to jump in the sack with him once in a while. By agreeing with her he knows he hurt her and this type of guy likes hurting women and bringing them to their knees over him. Suggest she take the I am stupid sign off and start living her life without someone who only feeds her when HE is hungry. You gave her the right advice. This is just a game these ass clowns play knowing she will not leave him alone…but his statement gives him a license to be an ass to her. Basically he is saying to her “Take the crumbs I give you or get out because I do not want to give you anymore than that” He is telling her he can live without her unless she wants to jump in the sack with him once in a while.

By agreeing with her he knows he hurt her and this type of guy likes hurting women and bringing them to their knees over him. Suggest she take the I am stupid sign off and start living her life without someone who only feeds her when HE is hungry.

]]> By: lisa http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212515 lisa Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:04:17 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212515 I was recently speaking to a girlfriend of mine and she once again brought up the idiot that she has been dealing with for quite some time. Telling me that she doesn't understand why he does the things he does like blowing hot and cold,pulling disappearing acts etc.. all the way up to the most recent comment that stemmed from he sending him an email saying that with the New Year change must take place. I don't think she expected to get the response she got but she got it. She told me that he said that "it was best that they go their separate ways because he could give her what she wanted or deserved and that he needed to be fair about this" and he would always remember the times they had over the years. So she asked me what I thought about all of this and I told her that all along he was no good and for her to move on find someone who is deserving of who she is and wants to do the right thing. This guy isn't going to do this. That all he wants is what he can get from her and anybody else that is willing to do the same. That he isn't about forming a solid relationship with anyone and it's all about playing a very twisted mind game with her and lord knows how many other people. That telling her it was best for them to go their separate ways was the easy way out for him because it would be to hard to try to form anything solid. I also told her that now the ball is back in her court to either agree with separating and moving on or she can keep agreeing to see him under the present set of circumstances knowing that things may never change and continue to waste precious time when she could be out looking for a better man than him. She also asked me if based on his recent comment would she hear back from him. I said why in the world would you want to. I told her he has said lound and clear that he doesn't want any kind of solid relationship with you or anybody else so why would you settle for just a once in awhile roll in the sack? I did tell her that she would hear from him again inspite of his comment of wanting to let her go. It's all up to her now. This is what he is waiting to hear. In the back of his mind he hopes that she will continue to keep seeing him. Did I give her the right advice as a friend? Does anybody else think this man will look her up again as I think he will? I was recently speaking to a girlfriend of mine and she once again brought up the idiot that she has been dealing with for quite some time. Telling me that she doesn’t understand why he does the things he does like blowing hot and cold,pulling disappearing acts etc.. all the way up to the most recent comment that stemmed from he sending him an email saying that with the New Year change must take place. I don’t think she expected to get the response she got but she got it. She told me that he said that “it was best that they go their separate ways because he could give her what she wanted or deserved and that he needed to be fair about this” and he would always remember the times they had over the years.

So she asked me what I thought about all of this and I told her that all along he was no good and for her to move on find someone who is deserving of who she is and wants to do the right thing. This guy isn’t going to do this. That all he wants is what he can get from her and anybody else that is willing to do the same. That he isn’t about forming a solid relationship with anyone and it’s all about playing a very twisted mind game with her and lord knows how many other people. That telling her it was best for them to go their separate ways was the easy way out for him because it would be to hard to try to form anything solid.

I also told her that now the ball is back in her court to either agree with separating and moving on or she can keep agreeing to see him under the present set of circumstances knowing that things may never change and continue to waste precious time when she could be out looking for a better man than him.

She also asked me if based on his recent comment would she hear back from him. I said why in the world would you want to. I told her he has said lound and clear that he doesn’t want any kind of solid relationship with you or anybody else so why would you settle for just a once in awhile roll in the sack?

I did tell her that she would hear from him again inspite of his comment of wanting to let her go. It’s all up to her now. This is what he is waiting to hear. In the back of his mind he hopes that she will continue to keep seeing him.

Did I give her the right advice as a friend? Does anybody else think this man will look her up again as I think he will?

]]> By: Tulipa http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212117 Tulipa Sat, 03 Jan 2009 10:48:15 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212117 I too always wanted to know why for some people they could just move on and others couldn't or took a lot longer or kept going back or couldn't let go .. I recently came across a book that answers a lot of these questions .. called Obessive Love by Susan Forward.. very insightful and helpful for those interested in extra resources.. I too always wanted to know why for some people they could just move on and others couldn’t or took a lot longer or kept going back or couldn’t let go .. I recently came across a book that answers a lot of these questions .. called Obessive Love by Susan Forward.. very insightful and helpful for those interested in extra resources..

]]> By: Rachel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-212023 Rachel Fri, 02 Jan 2009 04:48:16 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-212023 Oh so true Regina! That truly hit home, Oh so true Regina! That truly hit home,

]]> By: ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-211973 ReginaToxicodendronDiversilobum Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:14:29 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-211973 Rachel, I am with you, still shedding tears for my exEUM after two month + of No Contact, but here, I just remembered a great graffitto I saw in the Hole In the Wall in Austin TX: No man is worth crying over, but the one who is won't make you cry. Happy New Year y'all! Rachel, I am with you, still shedding tears for my exEUM after two month + of No Contact, but here, I just remembered a great graffitto I saw in the Hole In the Wall in Austin TX:

No man is worth crying over, but the one who is won’t make you cry.

Happy New Year y’all!

]]> By: finallyseenthelight http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-211952 finallyseenthelight Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:57:29 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-211952 I'm still struggling...I know the reality of him is he's no good and a selfish a**clown...I have to realize give my self esteem a boost and realize that what he does, did in the past and tries to do in the future should have no bearing on my self esteem, who I am and how I view myself...I have to realize how utterly dysfunctional and not normal he is and that trying to make sense of him doesn't work. The only thing that works is moving on and NC. I have to start the New Year with positive thoughts about myself and focus on me. Happy New Year everyone! I’m still struggling…I know the reality of him is he’s no good and a selfish a**clown…I have to realize give my self esteem a boost and realize that what he does, did in the past and tries to do in the future should have no bearing on my self esteem, who I am and how I view myself…I have to realize how utterly dysfunctional and not normal he is and that trying to make sense of him doesn’t work. The only thing that works is moving on and NC. I have to start the New Year with positive thoughts about myself and focus on me. Happy New Year everyone!

]]> By: browneyes http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-211951 browneyes Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:55:16 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-211951 new year and fresh start hopefully for us all,thankyou to all who are getting me through the hard times xx new year and fresh start hopefully for us all,thankyou to all who are getting me through the hard times xx

]]> By: Rachel http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-211942 Rachel Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:05:34 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ten-christmas-survival-tips-for-the-heartbroken-and-lovers-of-asscowns-and-mr-unavailables-part-two/#comment-211942 Thank You Gaynor..You have been a huge help. Thank You Gaynor..You have been a huge help.

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