Comments on: Guest post: The Drama Blame Game

By: The Drama Reduction 12 Step Programme

The Drama Reduction 12 Step Programme — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:12:00 +0000

[...] at our relationship history and admitted when we’ve been involved with assclowns, but are also accountable for our own contribution into our relationship [...]

By: FinallyOverIt

FinallyOverIt — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:24:23 +0000

Great article! And so completely right on the money! We need to completely empower ourselves and let these “man boys” know what we expect, what we need, and not expect them to know through osmosis, and then get mad when they can’t figure it out. We may not be able to control what they are thinking in their head, but we CAN control what we contribute to the relationship–being direct, honest and upfront in our interactions with them (actually with all people in general) gives them the message that we are not door mats, we value and respect ourselves, and we expect them to do the same–if they can’t, then they aren’t worth our time. This is good stuff!

By: cheekie

cheekie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:15:17 +0000

Well put cmdg!
Although, even the one’s with their heart’s on their sleeves sometimes don’t ‘understand’ our little melodrama’s….they just try harder too, bless their wee cotton socks…

I also think the more rational and calm we are, the more in control of OURSELVES we are, the better WE feel. God, I hate the feeling after I spin out into drama diva…regardless of the guy’s reaction.

By: Cmdg

Cmdg — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:34:31 +0000

This is something I’ve come to learn (and have to remind myself of frequently).

As men DO avoid conflict, many of the things we take personally are not meant that way what-so-ever. The men in turn then get all stressed out (whether the demonstrate it by getting mad, backing off or whatever emotionally stunted way they have of coping).

Unless you have a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, I think you have to pause, take a deep breath and THINK before you react. A calm, rational response will always get more thought on his part (whether he shows it or not) than drama will.

I also constantly work on trying to remember NOT to give away my power. Drama gives it all to them… you feel like the victim and unless you get the response you want that feeling continues.

Remembering YOU are a person and YOU are an equal part of the relationship gives you solid footing to discuss whatever issue may be at hand.

By: cheekie

cheekie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:51:09 +0000

True true!!
And I am glad you brought up your daughter, I have a young son.
Children learn by example, so, let’s not let them believe, due to our freakiness, that women are the victims, and indeed have them believe it is
US vs THEM!!!

By: lisaq

lisaq — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:34:55 +0000

You have so hit the nail on the head here girl! In the midst of one of my worst relationships, while I was whining about how I was being treated, my daughter said, “He does it because you let him.” Yep, smart girl. But she was right. It’s time we take responsibility here and not become a gender of man haters.