The No Contact Rule ebook – Available to buy!

NML, I ordered the Mr Unavailable+FallBackGirl e-book way back and never seem to get these updated emails. I suppose I do have multiple emails I use on the site, but none of them have been deleted since I got the ebook. Maybe it’s because I ordered it a long time ago? Wonder what’s going on?

Even though I am not super keen of reading a lot on my laptop, I decided to buy both e-books – with the intent to give FBG to someone I know who needs it and will get some much needed peace from it- and read the NCR book myself.

So I came home from work, sat by the fire and read NCR in one sitting. Even though I have read this blog for a year now I recommend this book as a solid, kind and entertaining read, entirely worthy of one’s time and $$, no matter where you are in your journey.

I would guess that if you are still engaged in the throes of relationship insanity thet FBG would be the book to read first. It can take some time to wrap your head around the mindf**ck that the flakiest of the arseclowns of the world present.

Once decided upon, however, NC is the big step in the journey to rediscovery of all that is important to you and all that is important about you. The many aspects of NC are well covered in the NCR book and there are so many worthy ideas that you cannot hear too often, as you work to wash that AC right out of your hair.

Here was a paragraph that stood out for me, and that last line is so important.

” If you want the feeling of rejection to subside and avoid being rejected by men who are unworthy of your time:
1) Take the focus off him and bring it back to you by reminding yourself of exactly why their behaviour doesn’t work for you. Remind yourself of what you want, how you want to feel, the boundaries that have been crossed, and their failure to recognise
your value and treat you with love, care, respect, and trust. Make sure your own actions treat you with what was missing.”

I also liked…

“It’s really important to remind yourself of what you actually want versus what you’ve actually been getting.”

and finally, these are such kind and true words..

“He’s shown and told you all that you need to know. Let go. That is what closure is about.”

With a solid and decent guy you can discuss the subject of needs and get somewhere, to compromise, at a minimum. With the EUM / AC all you will ever get is flakiness and confusion if you can even get to discussion.

Once I realized this I knew NC was absolutely necessary because I was dealing with a flakey faker. I had no fear of pain, nor being alone; how could NC be any worse than the pain of being involved with the EUM? No, it was not fear of pain; the processing and coming to grips with the illusion of the relationship have been the hard and ongoing part of NC for me. I lived with the illusion that he cared for me for so long and I really am having to retrain my head’s longstanding beliefs about him.

But I have never doubted or wavered about doing this work, nor sticking to my boundary of NC / no BS. We truly are responsible for our own happiness, or misery, its our choice.

Moreover, I am certain my life is better for this. Not only I will never get involved in something as dark as the EUM/AC experience again but I am now so clear on what I do want in a healthy relationship. I am not sure I would have come to see all of this so quickly ( a year !) on my own, without this wisdom I found on this site, much of which is well summed up in this book.

Highly recommended. Nice work NML !