Welcome back! Have you got my ebooks - The No Contact Rule and Mr Unavailable & The Fallback Girl? Also become a fan of Baggage Reclaim on Facebook, follow me onTwitter, and join the forum.
If you’ve ever felt close to tearing your hair out wondering how you’ll cope with the fact that you’ve cut contact with someone or how you’ll ever get yourself out of a vicious cycle of get back together, realise things haven’t changed, end things, kneejerk back to them or get drawn in when they pursue you, and lather, rinse, repeat, The No Contact Rule is here to help you find your way to freedom.
Fight the compulsion to keep trying for a relationship, attention, and validation and understand why No Contact is often the only way to extricate yourself out of unhealthy dynamics with the type of people that don’t respect or empathise with your feelings. Grab back your power and move on to a healthier, happier you.
No Contact is ideal when someone just won’t break up, but isn’t prepared to commit to being and doing what is expected of them. No Contact teaches boundaries and imposes limits both on yourself and the other person. This detailed comprehensive survival guide provides all the info you need to understand what no contact is, why it’s necessary and effective, what they’re thinking, breaking your pattern and understanding your compulsion, dealing with NC with co-workers or the parent of your child, how to stay the course, and get onto rebuilding your life so that you can move on.
The No Contact Rule eBook will be available to buy from this weekend (I’ll post when I have set it up), however, if you would like to get your hands on a copy, 10 of you will be able to do so – there will also be something similar arranged for Facebook fans and Ning members, so you have up to 3 chances to get a copy. Other than leaving a comment to register your interest in receiving one, I’d appreciate your feedback once you’ve finished reading it 
Entries close at 10pm (UK Time) 2nd Jan
Update – The No Contact Rule is now available to buy
{ 98 comments… read them below or add one }
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This information is so valuable – I would abosolutely enjoy a copy
Thanks!
I would love a copy of your new book! I discovered this blog a few months ago and I am so thankful for all of your insightful and compassionate words of wisdom! You have taught me to choose myself over some immature man who hasn’t the slightest idea of how to live a conscious life. Thank you so much!
Please, i’d love to have a copy!
I, too, am throwing my hat into the ring!
Blaise
have been reading the articles on this website for almost 2 years and the info has been invaluable to me. i would absolutely love to receive a copy of nml’s latest ebook. thanks.
My nickname is Kat and I’d love to be able to win a free copy. This site is amazing and full of so much helpful information.
I would love to have a copy, I need that desperately!!!!!!! it would change my life
Good morning Natalie!
I would love the chance to win a free copy please!
Sweetie187 -x-
I am in desperate need of this book. Please tell me how I can get a copy of this.
I’d love a copy, please!
Angela…
I too suffer from the same morning and night ritual of the dis-ease of over-thinking. I have been using Byron Katie’s meditations to focus off him and putting the focus back on to me and feeling the support of the universe for the healing. The other thing I do is each time a thought associated with him comes up, I bring up words to describe him..unavailalbe, untrustworth, unreliable.
If you think of what you are looking for…trustworthy, reliable, loving, caring… and focus on those words as to who you are and what you want to bring into your life..honestly he will disappear into the background. Breathe into these words and let them envelope yourself… closer to yourself and put the love where you deserve it to be, with you!!.
Good luck!! It’s the work and it’s working for me and of course my daily dose (or two or three
of these pages.
xxx 2010..is all about you!!
I absolutely love this site and would be thrilled to win a copy of this book! You all have inspired me to get it into gear and get things happening to stay away from my eum!!!
I’d like one.
I look forward to reading this book, would prefer to win one (!) but will read, regardless! Thank you for all you have done via this site and your writings. You’ve been invaluable to me over the past few months.
Hang in there all of you who are just finding out about NC! It took me about a year of trying to go “no contact” on and off to actually achieve it and stick to it, and now I’ve been NC for about a year, and even though I have all of his e-mail addresses blocked and phone numbers deleted and Instant Message disabled, and told him that if he ever contacted me again while he was still married, I’d tell the police, I still sometimes wish he would show up at the door saying that he had actually followed through on all the things he had said were “true.” He was the best snow job I have ever experienced. I never knew people could be that cruel. I had to threaten the “police thing” because he wouldn’t stop with the lies and the sweet talk even when I asked him to stop.
This web-site, and the old copy of the No Contact rule helped me stay firm. I actually read my copy yesterday just to help me stay strong and start the New Year of right!
It works! If you don’t win the copy, still buy it! It’ll be the best thing you can do for yourself this year. I’ll be interested to see what is in this new book!!!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you NML.
The NC rule is probably the most effective method of teaching anyone in your life how to treat YOU. It established boundaries, with a touch of tough love, and definitely forces a person to get real with the deal. It saves you a lot of time and disappointment, not to mention embarrassment, and in confusing times when you just don’t know what to do but need to get real–the NC rule allows you to do just that. When it comes to the bottom line, NC lets you reject the opposing party (EUM) and turn the tables just when you thought that you’ve failed. NC is never a manipulation, but more of a reaction to the endless manipulation EUMs send our way–a detox if you will. Send that copy ovah hea…
I would love a copy. Your Mr. Unavailable book is a true labor of love, and it was truly excellent. Thank you so much NML! You’re a great woman.
I’ve slowly been working on no-contact – a few starts and stops. But, I find it hard not to stalk him online – even though it’s been nearly 2 years now. (Sigh – New Year, new try) I’d love to read the book – looking forward to either winning a copy or buying one soon.
Thanks NML!
Would love a free copy! Thanks
Please include me in the offer for a free book. Thanks!
I would love a copy of the no contact book. I recently found this blog and bought the eum book — wow!! I read 100+ pages a day to make sure I read it in one weekend. I never understood or accepted that someone would come after me –if they were not really wanting a future –such an eye opener –especially my role of trying to fulfill an illusion based upon a tiny bit of encouragement with a ton of warning signs that I so easily ignore.
Hi natalie I would love a copy
Hh I have been no contact for a month now and am teetering on contacing
Bd
Please, do send me a copy of “No Contact!” if there’s any left . . . your website has saved me so much grief, and shone the light on so many issues that I tried to bury and forget but like old bones in the backyard they kept resurfacing when the “dog” dug them out for old times sake lol . . . this is the best support system ever, so glad you had the gumption to publish this stuff on-line, realizing the trials, tribulations and turmoil so many women live through surviving on crumbs of hope when there is a smorgasbord of good men out there . . . but they won’t approach you if you’re technically not available, still emotionally latched on to some assclown lol who thinks he’s God’s gift to women . . . these guys are dangerous, because they look and sound SO good when they’re in the mood, and they’re SO bad when they’re not . . . girls, keep up the good work! Love from Vancouver Canada xoxox
PS this song helped me so much, it was just the medicine the doctor ordered three years ago . . . and the assclown just resurfaced before Xmas . . . over three years! I just played the song again to remember, “I am sober” and I’m not talking about alcohol, we’re taking assclown addiction lol
Girl meets boy, girl goes crazy
Boy looks away, she gets her heart broken
No words are spoken
Boy comes back and acts
As if everything is cool
Soon she’s got him back on a pedestal
She only sees what she wants to see
Love is blind, love is so misleading
(CHORUS)
I see the light, oh what a light
And I am sober
All that you served to me
No longer will I drink it in
I took the time to think it over
I see the you that I never knew
Now it’s finally sinking in
I am sober
Girl wakes up and smells the coffee one day
Realizes she’s on her own again
All alone again
Boy takes every opportunity
To play on every insecurity
Get her back on track
She’s in a daze, back in the fire
But will she cave into her old desires
(CHORUS)
[ Sober Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
the reason he comes back is because he knows he still has an open door
the reason mice get in your house is because there’s holes in the wall
they will always go where they find food
THANK YOU!
I would love the opportunity to receive a copy of your book on No
Contact.. I have your site on my toolbar of essential sites because you give sound realistic advice. I have a question though,what do you do if all you have is a Mr. Unavailable? Before I met him I’d been alone for a year. Either it’s this or nothing. There are so many other beautiful, independent, educated, funny, healthy , accomplished career women in NYC, that often the men behave like they are gourmands at a smorgasbord.
I like this, that De wisely wrote, ( and thanks De-ar xoxox )
“The other thing I do is each time a thought associated with him comes up, I bring up words to describe him..unavailalbe, untrustworthy, unreliable.”
This is an example of a really necessary NC too I am learning to employ as nostalgia creeps in. I think of it as retraining of the brain, retraining of the illogical patterns of thought that made me keep giving the AC another chance.
On a bad day I think give him undue credit… like he willfully trained me like some kind of dumb monkey. On a good day I recognize that I was naive and fooled by the predatory illusion he presented, an illusion that he likely has crafted for decades.
No matter, NC rules, and ….C’est la vie anyways. Live and learn.
your website is lifeline for me in relationship world
I will love to have a copy .
I know this site is for women. But I just want you to know, it’s not always the man.
Happy happy New year aphrogirl
sending love, hugs and strength
xxx De ar! Hahaaa love it!
I am reading the book and I am dating an emotionally unavailable man. I believe I am totally codependent, but now that I have this new awareness what I do not have is a vocabulary to match it. I don’t want anything anymore other than peace and to get serious about the business of building healthy relationships with myself and others. We do live together and we do have a child. I feel like anything I say has already been said and its hard to do no contact because I can’t just up and leave at the moment. I am penalized for starting any communication with him and often walk away feeling worse than if I hadn’t said anything. I don’t know how to stick up for myself without making empty threats because I can’t go anywhere. Your blog has been helpful but in many ways I feel more confused.
NML I’d like to thank you for opening my eyes with your dead-on insights..how’d you get so smart about these a**holes? LOL My mantra these days is from Beyonce’s song “Irreplacable”..”so since I’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing, nothing at all to you?” Best of luck to all you ladies out there who have lived with this nonsense, hope we all make it a great year for ourselves!
I need to read this book for sure, would love a free copy!
*raises hand for free copy*
Natalie
I would love to get a copy your new book and would absolutely provide feedback after reading. I purchased the Mr Unavailable… some time ago and have kept re-reading sections. It has been extremely helpful. I’ve been a “quiet” member of the site who has benefitted tremendously from all the articles. My struggle, however, has been centered around keeping No Contact for an extended period due to history/unfinished business – so I have been anticipating your new book to get the extra push needed to bolt the door shut. Thanks you so much for sharing your insight and experiences. Much love from Toronto, Canada
Please could I have a copy – only on day 2 and doing really badly already!
As someone who is serious about not being a Fall Back Girl for a Boomerang relationship…..I really look forward to reading the No Contact Book. It is a major NewYear Resolution that I am commited to keeping.
One of my favorite books from Donald Trump is … THINK BIG AND KICK ASS!…..my foot note to that is that the ass you so often need to kick is your own, Keeping to No Contact…..or no using your drug….is essential.
Would love to receive a copy…my first EUM and having a hard time letting go. : (
I would totally love to win that book! I need it!!
count me in – I’m throwing my hat into the ring
would love to win this book!
Hey- i think I am past the deadline for a free copy but I am desperate to pruchase!!!!!
I would love a copy, words of wisdom to pass on to treasure friends. x
Yep missed the deadline to and so want to download it as finding it hard again was my newyears resolution not to talk to the AC and already broken it! Thought he had deleted my number like I asked him to before xmas and he contacted me again drunk at 5am at weekend needs to stop!! as I know i’m weak I know its me who is keeping it from ending it has to stop now! Looking forward to reading it
Hi Everyone. Thanks for all of your entries. Between here, Facebook, and Ning there will be 30 copies given away. I will be drawing names as soon as the baby stops playing me up so you will get your copy this evening and it will also be available to purchase. I will post up names as soon as I’ve done it.
it seems like i got in early enough but not gotten an email. i’ve used my gmail acct this time – thank you !
I want one I want one!!!! Im also a facebook fan! I want one!!! thanks
please i need a Copy too! please I beg you. thank you
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