The One That Got Away
It really doesn’t matter if you’re 19 or 89; you more than likely feel that you have one of these. At some point in your life, you were completely enamoured with someone who didn’t find your charm quite as appealing. They broke your heart, but to you, that made them much more endearing. This relationship might not have lasted long, however it will be the most difficult to get over.
After they dump you, you mope around for at least a week. During this week, you might not shower, you probably won’t answer your phone, or you’ll screen the calls because it might be him calling to tell you that he’s made a huge mistake. It never is though. It is also possible that you’ll lose or gain 5 lbs. I usually lose it for some reason which tells me this might be the new diet plan; have guys I really like break up with me. Or maybe not.
You will obsess over “what could have been” which is how the “one that got away” stigma actually comes into existence. With this kind of relationship, you never felt like you had a fair chance. Since these relationships are typically short, you never get to the stage where things are bad.
You see this guy as nearly perfect. And then, like a knife in the heart, he breaks up with you out of nowhere. It hits you like a ton of bricks and you can’t justify it. You can’t say, “Well, he was too overbearing” or “Good riddance, what a lousy piece of ass”. Deluding yourself will not work here. Telling your friends that you’re fine will not work either. The cloud that hangs over your head will last for quite sometime and it’s possible that your view on love or relationships may be temporarily altered.
I have one of those people that I refer to (only in my mind) as the one that got away. To protect the identity of the not-so innocent, I will call this person Jett. Jett and I dated for approximately a month. He was fun, smart, and sexy as hell. We had similar interests and genuinely had a great time together. And then it happened. One day he just changed. We broke up (I actually broke up with him after he continually pushed me away) and I wasn’t ok about it. No matter how many times I told myself that he wasn’t worth my time, I never really believed it. I kept imagining what my life would be like if we were still dating. I imagined how good it would feel taking him home for Christmas, how I could easily see myself moving in with him and falling asleep together every night, and how even though he hurt me, I could forgive him.
A year later I still couldn’t let it go. After a couple of failed attempts at reconciliation, I still wasn’t at the point where I could completely say goodbye. Jett and I talked randomly, but it was mostly me talking and him being an asshole. All my feminist notions had vanished and I started acting like one of those girls I pitied for being so hung up on a guy. I didn’t give other relationships a chance for a long time. I cried when songs came on the radio that reminded me of him. I morphed into a broken-hearted nutcase that just isn’t me.
And then one day, I just snapped out of it. I still think about Jett and probably always will but I don’t obsess over him anymore. I have learned to let other people into my life. My whole theory about being friends with all your ex-boyfriends, yeah, totally shot to hell. There’s no way I could EVER be “just friends” with Jett. So I let it go. Obsessing and feeling sorry for myself, didn’t make the situation better.
It’s ok to have that one person with whom you MIGHT have had a great future with. It’s ok to obsess over them for awhile. That’s your right as an emotionally challenged person. However, the hurt that you associate with “the one that got away” will eventually fade away and you will be able to move on. You can trust me on that one.
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