Comments on: Thirty Days of Drama Reduction http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:33:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: kara http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/comment-page-1/#comment-227597 kara Mon, 18 May 2009 04:40:30 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/#comment-227597 Hi I am a drama seeker, I am figure all this out so as to stop and change bad habits in my life. I am seperated and we got here with alot of stress. Myh husband and I got married somewhat because I got pregnant not right away but a year or so after. I felt I really should get married because I was a single mother already when I met him. So now we had two boys\ and my husband was an unaware alcoholic. I dont think I really realized it until now. There was lies about how long he worked or he just wouldn't come home or answer his phone. After a couple years things got a bit better another baby came. I was happy with the two but he really wanted the third and I romanticized it about him want this wonderful family etc.. so I was easily talk into it. I fought( about are marital issue or issues I didn't agree with) alot but rarely won either way. I started expecting him to help a little more and setting him up to be successful as a father with his kids and he definitely became more pro active. I think he truly started to like doing the fun things with them. I didn't get a lot of acknowlegement about how hard it was to be a mom and the efforts I made to support him. Anyways number four and last came along another surprise I was sad and anxious about this child. She was a blessing anyway. This is it he went in to get fixed but has still not been tested which was 2 or so years ago. We landed in financial crisis helping out his parents I knew we couldn't afford it but sometimes I think my husband think we are rich and he loves to be the hero/good guy. He kept paying his parent a wageand the kept taking it. I didn't know how to handle it I was so stressed out. I wanted to leave him and then this couple friends of ares from the lake started offering us advice and more friendship. My husband was all for it they like to party(drink)and were helpful with are kids. I enjoyed the chance to talk with someone and get help wioth the four kids. My depression prgressed and I felt helpless so I started drinking at the lake with this couple and my husband. The other husband started complimenting me on how I was a great mom etc... He converse with me and understand where I was coming from . I started to rely on him and her for advice and guidance. They started seeing my husband not as the fun loving guy but as the irresponsible dreamer he truly could be. They also realized that alot of the consequences that his dreams lay at my feet to fix. The husband and I started an affair some physical but most emotion. The physical only happened when I was drinking. It sinkens me to think about it. But I realized I got off on not getting caught and could be obsessive about seeing him. He would tell me he loved me but I knew that wasn't the case for me atleast thats what I thought. I was lonely but this guilt grew in me especially when I was not drinking. I ended it and seperated from my husband he knows what happened. No all the problem arte my fault but I do realize I contibuted to the problems. I still think about this other man not even my husband and we are seperated. I dont know why I do this to my self. This is drama that I crave and it only causes me more chaos in my life. Help!!! How do I stop this cycle or habits so I can change? Hi I am a drama seeker, I am figure all this out so as to stop and change bad habits in my life. I am seperated and we got here with alot of stress. Myh husband and I got married somewhat because I got pregnant not right away but a year or so after. I felt I really should get married because I was a single mother already when I met him. So now we had two boys\ and my husband was an unaware alcoholic. I dont think I really realized it until now. There was lies about how long he worked or he just wouldn’t come home or answer his phone. After a couple years things got a bit better another baby came. I was happy with the two but he really wanted the third and I romanticized it about him want this wonderful family etc.. so I was easily talk into it. I fought( about are marital issue or issues I didn’t agree with) alot but rarely won either way. I started expecting him to help a little more and setting him up to be successful as a father with his kids and he definitely became more pro active. I think he truly started to like doing the fun things with them. I didn’t get a lot of acknowlegement about how hard it was to be a mom and the efforts I made to support him. Anyways number four and last came along another surprise I was sad and anxious about this child. She was a blessing anyway. This is it he went in to get fixed but has still not been tested which was 2 or so years ago. We landed in financial crisis helping out his parents I knew we couldn’t afford it but sometimes I think my husband think we are rich and he loves to be the hero/good guy. He kept paying his parent a wageand the kept taking it. I didn’t know how to handle it I was so stressed out. I wanted to leave him and then this couple friends of ares from the lake started offering us advice and more friendship. My husband was all for it they like to party(drink)and were helpful with are kids. I enjoyed the chance to talk with someone and get help wioth the four kids. My depression prgressed and I felt helpless so I started drinking at the lake with this couple and my husband. The other husband started complimenting me on how I was a great mom etc… He converse with me and understand where I was coming from . I started to rely on him and her for advice and guidance. They started seeing my husband not as the fun loving guy but as the irresponsible dreamer he truly could be. They also realized that alot of the consequences that his dreams lay at my feet to fix. The husband and I started an affair some physical but most emotion. The physical only happened when I was drinking. It sinkens me to think about it. But I realized I got off on not getting caught and could be obsessive about seeing him. He would tell me he loved me but I knew that wasn’t the case for me atleast thats what I thought. I was lonely but this guilt grew in me especially when I was not drinking. I ended it and seperated from my husband he knows what happened. No all the problem arte my fault but I do realize I contibuted to the problems. I still think about this other man not even my husband and we are seperated. I dont know why I do this to my self. This is drama that I crave and it only causes me more chaos in my life. Help!!! How do I stop this cycle or habits so I can change?

]]> By: NML http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/comment-page-1/#comment-145173 NML Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:13:06 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/#comment-145173 Christine - thanks for your comment and I will focus on your question as one of the topics. Vikki T - Thank you! It's all one big mess but it's one that you can get out of. You just have to start breaking habits and associations and looking for positive attention. I hope you enjoy the series. Christine – thanks for your comment and I will focus on your question as one of the topics.
Vikki T – Thank you! It’s all one big mess but it’s one that you can get out of. You just have to start breaking habits and associations and looking for positive attention. I hope you enjoy the series.

]]> By: vikkkiT http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/comment-page-1/#comment-144938 vikkkiT Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:13:55 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/#comment-144938 "All of this ends up having us believing that we are in love with a guy when in actual fact it’s the familiar feeling of drama that he brings to the table" This is one of the hardest things to accept - that the great love for which we have sacrificed so much, wasn't love at all, just another way of getting that rush. It isn't a pretty sight, seeing it like that, without the camouflage of romance. Great idea for a series, nml. I think you are really getting to the heart of the problem now. Looking forward to reading more. vikkiT .... an Accidental Drama Seeker .... “All of this ends up having us believing that we are in love with a guy when in actual fact it’s the familiar feeling of drama that he brings to the table”

This is one of the hardest things to accept – that the great love for which we have sacrificed so much, wasn’t love at all, just another way of getting that rush. It isn’t a pretty sight, seeing it like that, without the camouflage of romance.

Great idea for a series, nml. I think you are really getting to the heart of the problem now. Looking forward to reading more.

vikkiT …. an Accidental Drama Seeker ….

]]> By: Christine http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/comment-page-1/#comment-144854 Christine Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:38:50 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/thirty-days-of-drama-reduction/#comment-144854 The drama seems to come when you know you should walk away and yet....can't seem to do it. When he is "just not that into you", how do you make yourself not only believe it but accept it without the drama? Looking forward to reading your series. The drama seems to come when you know you should walk away and yet….can’t seem to do it. When he is “just not that into you”, how do you make yourself not only believe it but accept it without the drama? Looking forward to reading your series.

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