How sad! I can’t think of anything unhappier than letting someone else’s version of “pretty” define someone’s life. Achieving and maintaining a size two and great looks is an awesome accomplishment. But I would rather hear you accomplished something you were proud of, that you felt benefited yourself and others.

If your looks, your size two, your stunning appearance happen to catch a guy – all you know about him is that he is likely to pick his next companion based on her looks, too. You won’t be confident of ever catching his heart, when he follows his eyes to find first you, then the next, and the next. Just like achieving size two is a never-ending task, he will find having the “most beautiful” girlfriend a never-ending search. His search won’t end with you.

So you have to avoid the guys searching for size twos and stunning appearances. Look for someone that will take your looks – but not your character or your happiness or your love – for granted.

I find the most important feature of an attractive woman – is the smile. The best smile expresses the most inner joy. Fashion comes in a set size – not joy and happiness and trust and respect and honor.

Blessed be.
.-= Brad K.´s last blog ..ps: Empowering girls, and self confidence =-.

Jean, don’t apologize, keep on posting, I believe we are all good people with different opinions and experiences.

Mike, I love reading your posts.

I agree with you on this one.

I think I may have lived it with a musician once.

You are not wrong. But, I suspect, that you have never lived in the world of creative people and artists. That is a truly different personality type to deal with. You have your site about making babies, and that is all it is about. But, you know, some people live their lives and create so many more things then another human being.

That given, I agree with you this time.

Basically, don’t go for jerks, or anyone that can’t give you want you honestly don’t want or need. Don’t waste your time with what you don’t truly want or need in life. It is our own decision in the long run.

So Brad, I applaud you for your stance. I actually, find it admirable.

Cheers to you and your world view. ts.

Doesn’t it happen with both sexes? If a relationship is not working we eventually lose interest and move on. As we know the majority of relationships are not forever.

I think a lot of it has to do with how the initial attraction was formed. If he was a hottie, he was looking for a groupie. Once the groupie-applicant starts living a life, or fails to meet groupie expectations – why, time to look for a new groupie.

If she was the hottie, then he is the groupie. If she should lose whatever made her a hottie, or a hotter hottie wanders by – she loses his respect, and groupie-adoration.

And you can substitute any number of actions, objects, or character traits for “hottie”. If he/she was perceived as honest and honorable, and they start acting otherwise, they lose respect and credibility. If the initial attraction was a convertible, or bike, hairstyle, or wonderbra, and the object is replaced with something “more practical” – poof.

Three words: stay on topic

Jean, I do appreciate that everyone has their insecurities and defenses but this thread is actually not about skinny people vs overweight people, and Mike does not need to say whether he would date an overweight woman.

I perceived as being defensive remark.

We’re all here to support one another as well as ‘try’ to give constructive advice to situations that make little sense.

One of my dearest friends has been having issues with her weight for years, and my advice to her has been “accept and love yourself for who you are or try to make some changes in your life.” We have to love and appreciate ourselves the way we are, or no one else will.

Of course I’m defensive and of course I’m insecure.

We all are to some extent.

Those comments people have made are rude and inexcusable but I have to say that some of your comments to the other posters has been a bit defensive. I think the only point that Mike was making is that size is not the issue for a relationship ending but insecurity is. I don’t understand why you are asking him if would date a woman who is overweight?????

It is perfectly acceptable for any stranger at any time to comment on our appearance and weight.

Like in the store a couple is walking side by side and blocking the aisle and I slip by them and the man comments about me having a bigger load and need more room. How rude.

You know, I really don’t mind being this weight or size. The problem is other people keep reminding me that somehow I am flawed and defective for not being a size 2.

Even my therapist mentioned my weight and I had not said one word to him about being unhappy with my weight.

Sure you can say just ignore people who make rude comments to you but when it happens over and over how can you keep ignoring it?

Mike of course, people of all sizes get dumped. How likely would it be you would date an overweight woman anyway?

I agree!! It screams insecurity!