Now here’s the tough part. These men treat us like this because we let them. The information is there. They have mistreated us and slept with other women, but we choose to hope they will change, without looking at the evidence they have repeatedly provided.

I am not trying to be harsh, but this guy has really put you and your child through the wringer, you have to put the two of you first, and recognize this is who this man is.

Keep reading and posting for support, it will be come clear with time.

my story is very simmilar to yours.i know how much it hurts to pin your hopes of a better life on someone only to be let down, my heart goes out to you because i also met a future faker.

I met my AC while he was working in my country. He was single and handsome, so loving and so kind towards what id been thru in my marriage. it seemed like i really had a chance to be happy with someone again. We saw each other everyday for 10 months and my little girl adored him. When his contract ended and he had to leave he asked me to go with him back to his country but i couldn’t because of my job and i wasn’t ready to give up everything, but he came back to see me and two months later i went to see him. Although there were red flags, he was seen around with other girls and would be terribly controlling, i was so blinded by the love i felt for him. In December last year he asked me to move to him again, and when i finally accepted, quit my job and gave up my apartment, he wrote to me a month later (after becoming distant) to tell me that i cannot come because he is not the man i think he is, that he is not ready for the commitment. This is after promising me the earth moon and sun for 10 months. Saying that he was ready to be like a father to my child and to love and care for us. I was so heartbroken and left with nothing, i cut off all contact with him from that day. Even if i wanted to try and move on, 10 weeks later he started calling saying how sorry he was and how he wants to make things work. I stupidly forgave him That was in Feb and we talked everyday since then and he made plans to come see me in august. A month ago he got cold and distant again calling less and less and when i asked him he said he was busy and we haven’t seen each other for so long maybe that’s why. So 2 weeks ago we were chatting n i told him not to come if he couldn’t be as loving as he was because he had changed towards me, i said this hoping that he would try to be nicer, but he never even replied and i never heard from him again. So its been 2 weeks NC again, ive deleted him from all my contacts and trying to be strong. i even recently found he had been sleeping with a lot of other women while he was in my country we’re a very small community, all the while seeing me and asking me to never leave him and telling me how i’m the one. Why do men do these things and im praying i will be strong to tell him where to go should i ever hear from him again. It hurts but i know i need to move on.

im thankful for this site, its been my bible for the last 2 weeks and i wish all the women out there in similar situations much strength and love. things will only get better for us, i truly believe that.

He came into town- we talked as old friends and then he swept me off my feet. Asked me to move with him to Colorado next year, said he wanted us to have kids together in the future (4 to be exact and yes we even disscused babies names), we drove around are hometown and he showed me this neighborhood he would love for us to live in one day- bla bla bla.

He goes home and then I hoped on the craziest 4 month roller coaster of my life. I just couldn’t get off because every time I did he’d suck me back in.

Low and behold now he is with some new girl he met- hahah get this 2 days after he left here. He was my first love and now the first guy who really destroyed me.

He was the King of up’s and downs. He ruined my self esteem and broke my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible.

It has been 2 months since I’ve talked to him- I’m still very much healing- it is so hard and I really don’t know how I will ever feel completely good- but I’m just acknowldging that these things take time.

he was the type of guy who would text me for a few days straight, call me up on the phone, then disappear for a week. it took him around 2 months before finally asking me out on a date. he’d tell me we should do this and that and of course, those things never happened. when i stopped replying to his texts he started ‘chasing’ me back and when i finally said i just found him too ‘random’ he said it was because he was busy and he had a lot of activities then just stopped replying. the next day he texted me again like everything was just normal. that’s when i finally came to my senses and told him to stop asking me out.

it took me months to finally cut him off from my life. but lesson well learned indeed.

thank you for this wonderful post.

Thank you so much.

I saw hints for a couple of occassions and once i asked myself if its normal to be so upset on a daily basis bacause he’s always unavailable and only spoke on the phone when it was convenient for him. I spoke to my best friends and ended it before I went on hols for a month so that I could start 2010 fresh. And it seemed like he was as relieved as I was, meaning he was just in the relationship being an a** until I ended things myself.

When I randomly met him at a seminar, things went so fast and he traveled down 4 hours just to see me for a few hours every week, spoke about me being the first girl to get to meet his parents, that he could have been falling in love with me blah blah….

Lets just say after 4 months when i mentioned meeting his friends (i only met two of them after 4 months!) or his family, he snapped and denied all forms of commitment and demanded I should show more commitment by having sex (I had said we should hold out – good decision!) and…..by telling my parents (?!!!). I think that just did it for me and if he was trying to piss me off, it worked.

I never really understood the guy. I kept thinking of how good “he was” before and felt guilty for not chasing him back….so in the end I made lots of effort and I gave it a shot until he showed almost no reason for me to be with him. So basically when guys start behaving this way, its already worthless from his side so no matter how good you are, he’ll not change at that moment in time!

Remember not to blame yourself girls! As long as you did your bit, you’re not to blame for their bad behavior – that’s an issue they will have to deal with in future. When a REAL guy who cares for you comes into your life you wont need to think about these things, as NML said… he will ACT and not SAY.