I’ve never made it a secret about my loathing of Valentine’s day. It’s not because I’m anti-couples or anti-love, and it’s certainly not because I’m single. Truthfully, I think that Valentine’s day is a cheesy load of sh*t which benefits the retailer but puts single people and people that are in relationships under a ridiculous pressure. There are 365 days in the year and I find it hard to believe that people get their knickers in their twist over displaying their love on just one of those days.
I have been watching people going lula over Valentine’s since I was a kid. I remember the immense pressure we were all under at five years bloody old to have a Valentine’s card and how kids that didn’t get one would get teased. When it got to my teens it was just ridiculous. Girls in a depression or getting all hysterical because they haven’t had a card. Worse still was the smug b*tch that had to tell everyone that she’s had ten cards (she’d probably written them all to herself).
As an adult I have found that Valentine’s in a relationship is stressful. Seeking out a present for a partner on Valentine’s is stressful because I feel under pressure to come up with something sentimental, that epitomises the Valentine’s day feeling, but everything in the shops just appears to be cheesy sh*t churned out for mugs like me. Guys aren’t even into Valentine’s day. They’re not widely ecstatic about getting Valentine’s gifts because they’re a bit bewildered by what the big friggin deal is in the first place. They’ve probably been reminded fifty times by their partner and there have been ominous threats of the relationship coming to an abrupt end if it’s forgotten.
When I think back to all of the Valentine’s gifts that I have given or received, most have been consigned to the bottom draw – dodgy underwear, fluffy handcuffs, love cheques, teddy bears, shot glasses with love messages.
When I see women getting into a tizz over this day, I think we forget sometimes that we live in the real world where some of us seem to have a penchant for dickheads. Some of these dickheads even make it to boyfriend status but I think that I should remind those of you that do get antsy about Valentine’s Day: If he’s a dickhead, he will still be one at the beginning and end of Valentine’s day. All that money that we spend, all of the sentiments don’t fix a damn thing and whatever insecurities that we do have about our relationships doesn’t fade with a gift, card or flowers.
It is January and already I’m seeing all sorts of marketing going on for it. It seems that each year they start earlier, feeding into the public subconscious, into the insecurities so that people are already thinking ahead or wondering what they should do for the special day. I have no idea what I will be doing February 14th 2006 and I won’t be fretting about it. Can you believe that people are already making plans?! Maybe I’ll be with somebody, maybe I won’t, but either way, Valentine’s day and Hallmark can kiss my arse.
Last year, I declared ‘F*ck Valentine’s Day’ and brought myself a nice treat just because it was a Monday and I felt like it. I like the freedom that it brings and I have vowed that when I am with someone, I won’t be one of those women that goes on about Valentine’s day and nags about gifts and stuff like that. This year, Baggage Reclaim will be taking the alternative view of Valentine’s and I suggest that if you’re looking for 101 ways to sex your unavailable man on Valentine’s day or suggestions for slushy gifts, it may be best to skip on to another site. Like a lot of topics on this site, Valentine’s will be treated with humour and a dose of bitchiness where necessary, and even if we do talk gifts or suggestions, brace yourself for something cheeky or rude!
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim
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