Just a quick note to say happy New Year – the full post is by video today! Thank you for taking the time to read Baggage Reclaim and helping to make it bigger and better. I’m incredibly grateful to not only be sharing my journey with you but to be sharing in so many of your own journeys. I’m very lucky to have an amazing community of people that make me laugh, cry, forgive, be compassionate, think, thrive, strive, inspire, and sometimes snort tea up my nose

Whatever you’re up to today (make sure it doesn’t involve waiting around or giving yourself a hard time – and that’s not just for today but for every day), do it with love, self-love at the heart of it. Spend it with people you give it a damn about, even if that ‘people’ is you.

I’ll be back in a couple of days – I’m off to have a karaoke evening in our living room. Saria, my 4 year old does a tear jerking rendition of the chorus from Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ which does make me think of quite a few BR readers!

Love and hugs

Nat xxx

About the Author:

Natalie Lue is the founder and writer of Baggage Reclaim and author of the books Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship and more. Learn more about her here and you can also follow her on Facebook and Twitter - @baggagereclaim .

Natalie (NML) – who has written posts on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


Email • Facebook • Twitter • YouTube • Pinterest

Tagged with:
 

108 Responses to Video: Happy New Year!

  1. Leisha says:

    Natalie, You are beautiful in and out…thank you for all you do…Have a lovely time and we’ll see you next year…corny, I know, heeheeheee…Cheers! I love seeing and hearing you in addition to the writing…you are very photogenic…your smile lights up so brightly…thanks for the great gift of yourself to all of us. We love you.

    May we all shine on…Happy 2012

  2. Lo J says:

    Thank you, Natalie. Today has been a very emotional, reflective day for me. I’m just being, feeling, and cleaning, a cleansing of the home and the soul, if you will. Its as if I’m “cleaning up” literally, and figuratively, and making room for the NEW. (Reminds me of the book “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant. Read it years ago and just recently really “got” it.) Looking forward to the new year, to new experiences, and a moving forward.
    I bet that baby girl is PRECIOUS singing her little heart out! Happy New Year’s Nat and EVERYONE!!

    • Stephanie says:

      One more thing before I go out the door..

      Lo J – When I was going though all my hurt and pain a few months ago my sister suggested I read “In The Meantime” I read the book but rushed through it because I was feeling so depressed and couldn’t concentrate. However, a few weeks ago I picked it up and read it again, but this time I absorbed and understood it! Ladies along with Natalie’s book it is a good read, I suggest you all read it! Happy New Year xxx

  3. Amanda says:

    Great insight and advice. Thank you for these articles. They are a saving grace at times! All the best to you.

  4. Cat Nils says:

    Thank you Natalie, for saving me from so much pain…Im looking forward to 2012..HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    CAT NILSON
    Vancouver, BC Canada

  5. Cindy says:

    You have been such a blessing to me in 2011. Thank you!

  6. Stephanie says:

    Thanks Natalie!

    Hearing what you said made me feel a whole lot better! I’m getting ready to go out and party with my family and have a good time. I must confess after 11 weeks of NC I was considering sending a text a midnight to say “Happy New Year” to the EUM, I won’t bother now, I’ve come too far. Thanks for the added strength. Look forward to the new posts in the New Year, have a great evening. xxxx

  7. anoosh says:

    Happy New Year and thank you so much Natalie! so grateful for this site, it’s just the greatest. yes, will continue to strive! thx for helping me survive a difficult year (and half). don’t know where I’d be without Baggage Reclaim!

  8. chloe says:

    Thank you Natalie, your blog got me through 2011 and through a ‘not right for me’ relationship. I am happy to say I am in a new relationship that feels ‘right for me’ and I am excited about moving into 2012. Happy New Year and all the best in 2012!

  9. grace says:

    Aw, you look freakin beautiful and happy. Much joy and love for 2012!

  10. ElleJae says:

    One thing I found this past year was your website — it was literally a life altering discovery, that will follow me through all the years ahead!! You are awesome in what you do & I love reading your articles – they give me the strength & remind me what I should & shouldn’t do. You have been such an inspiration & have helped me to open my eyes, to be a better ME!!!
    Happy New Year……And
    THANK YOU!!!

  11. colororange says:

    Natalie,

    Thank you so much for everything. You have helped me and everyone of us here in so many ways. I have learned so much from you even if I stumble along the way. Hope you have a fantastic time. See you in 2012!

    • Tulipa says:

      I too thank Natalie for all her help and especially for not bull shitting me. But like you, Colororange, I’m sure I’ll stumble also from time to time.
      Happy New Year to all the BR community.

  12. Ramona says:

    Happy New Year Natalie and all BR wonderful ladies. Thank you. I am not sure where I would be without you. 4 months AC NC. Ramona xxxxxoooo

  13. O'Connell Bridge says:

    I’m finding today so difficult… pent up feelings of anxiety, regret, meloncoly.. Its the regrets that keep refreshing the pain i thought i had overcome and already healed from… Regrets can surface from years ago. The regret renews the pain again and again… its like an physical orb of pain in my heart right now. 2011 has been so difficult. I experienced divorce from a man i loved and was drawn into the arms of a man uncapable of love which resulted in an unexpected pregnancy… quite a mix of emotion.

    Your outlook and wisdom is truely inspirational Natalie. Your words echo in my mind at my lowest points and tonight your words brought tears to my eyes and have helped me refocus and push forward into another year. My two beautiful baby daughters are sleeping, their futures are my hope right now. May 2012 be a new year of healing, positivity and learning to let go of regrets…

    Happy new year to all, and much appreciation for your help Natalie x

  14. TeaTime says:

    Nat,

    I remember the exact moment I found your website nearly a year ago today. I had hit rock bottom and had made it a habit of crying myself to sleep every night. I was severely depressed, and the therapist I was seeing wasn’t getting it. I felt alone, and I was seriously close to just ending it all.

    I was so lucky that night I stumbled across your site through a simple google search with key words basically describing a Mr. Unavailable. I made your website a part of my daily routine – like homework, I dedicated an hour or two a night to just read your entries and absorb all the comments from others. I felt like I wasn’t alone, and I felt like I finally found someone who got it.

    What a treasure you are. You helped turned my life a full 180 degrees, as I’m sure you did to so many other women on this website. I truly and sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me become a wiser, stronger and more confident person, and for helping me learn so much about myself and relationships.

    I haven’t been to your website in a while, which is actually good news because as of a few months ago I started to feel like I’ve finally fully absorbed the lessons from your site. But I wanted to come back to wish you a very happy new year. May 2012 bring happiness, joy and peace to you and your readers.

    xo Teatime

  15. blueberry girl says:

    Natalie, your wise words have kept me afloat in choppy seas! I love your blogs and books. Thanks for opening my eyes to the unhealthy beliefs & patterns that have detracted from me & kept me stuck. We are all better for having “known” you.
    Blessings in the New Year to you and your family!

  16. Sydney says:

    Thank you Natalie…you truly are an amazing person! You always seem to have just the right things to say right when I need to hear them most.

    It’s been a very emotional day for me, an emotional year actually, but today is a day of reflection on the past year and looking on to 2012 and all the changes yet to come in my life. You keep me grounded and focused, and you help give me the confidence I need in myself…for that I am very grateful, so thank you once again!

    Lots of love to you and your family and well wishes for the year to come…Happy New Year!

  17. Natasha says:

    Nat and BR Ladies, thank you so much for the love, support and advice you’ve shown and given. I never in a million years thought I’d be sharing my most, “Oh GIRL.” moments with people I’d never met before, but I’m so glad I did. Thanks to all of you, I’m determined to make 2012 the start of a whole new era. Tonight, I’m going to strap on my dancing shoes and forgive the past! Thank you, thank you again and may you all have a wonderful and very Happy New Year!!
    Love,
    Natasha
    xoxoxox

  18. anoosh says:

    {{ps Just wanna say to anyone who is staying in this evening, I’ll be here reading the posts & everyone’s, re-watching the video, to get more encouragement for 2012! I think it’s a very positive way to spend the holiday. My plans were ruined b/c of girlfriend drama — another challenging area for boundaries, trust, care, respect etc. But this time, I reached my limit. Instead of subjecting myself to an evening of anxiety, feeling rejection, suppressed hurt, resentment, anger — I’ve opted to have a little party with my kitty cats. I think it’s a *smashing* idea!

    don’t mean to go on about the issue, I hope everyone has a wonderful time tonight! I guess once you get started on a better path of taking care of yourself, stop second guessing your real feelings, thinking you can fix other people’s problems & behavior, many of your relationships could change. will be writing about the friendships, I’m sure — really nothing left to say about exEUM!}}

  19. genie says:

    I found your site four months ago (i can’t believe it’s been that long). I have read every post you’ve written since and most of the comments. I have learned so much from all of you, laughed and at times, my heart has ached reading what some people here have been through. May we all strive for better in 2012 and beyond. Happy New Year to each and every one of you.

  20. susan says:

    Natalie, you’re a peach! thank you so much for all that you do! Happy and Healthy New Year to you and your family! One of your faithful readers – Susan

  21. Trinity says:

    Hi Nat,

    Thank you for the years of support, growth, friendship and tools. Its been so helpful and important to me.
    The 31 st for me was marked with bumping into my x for the 1st time out on the street since he left my place of work. He was with a girl, they were both on one side of the lights waiting to cross and i was on the other. Some interesting things happend. The first was that it didnt really bother me, in fact i was confused, “is that really him”. I was confused because of the lack of response from myself, im so used to feeling a panic and distress about him and he didnt look like someone id date, in fact he didnt look good at all. Im not talking about just physical im not that shallow but since i know him now, i also have his whole personality to go by. The package looked wrong. Out of place for me.
    As we crossed past each other I was polite and smiled. He just looked awkward which is typical of him.
    As the evening went on though i started to feel off, when i went to bed i felt panicky, my tummy churned and i had nightmares that he moved in across the street and kept staring at me. Im not suprised to know that my x would be dating, i mean its been 2 years since we broke up and i always new he would date first. So ive been expecting it. So im not sure why i feel off, is it that sinking feeling of “why does the bad guy get to move on while your alone NYE”? not sure. But what i do know is that while ive made some tremendous growth ive also kept myself stuck and not moved on completly. What i took away from your video Nat is to not be afraid of life, to see the good in things again, to not be afraid to make a mistake and to not be so caught in the past that i miss my future anymore :) Also to listen to my very best friend who knows with all confidence, past experiences and has been through every event with me. That is he is still the same guy with the same issues, just like every other ex was when you went back to them. I would be in the same miserable relationship all over again. I say good luck to the new girl, she will need it.
    By the way that best friend and wise person is me ;)
    Happy 2012 guys :)

  22. runnergirl says:

    Wonderful video and fabulous message Natalie. You are radiant and simply gorgeous from the inside and it shows on the outside. I cannot imagine where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for you and the amazing BR community you have created. I am so grateful for all of you. Enjoy the time with your daughters and your family and sing your heart out.
    Thanks for the reminder that I am human along with everyone else. Based on the number of mistakes I have made, I must be really human! It’s nice to not to have to be perfect.
    Thank you so much.

  23. SM says:

    Natalie, you are beautiful! Thank you for everything. My 2011 started out bad but it is ending on a wonderful note. I had the worst eum/ac relationship this year that I have ever had. Through BR I found out that I am a fallback girl, that my want of instant gratification is doing me in and that I am not responsible for someone else’s crappy behavior. Even though I went thru therapy for this, it was never so clear til I read this site. The last two New Years Eve I was with an AC/two different ones and was having no fun. But I’m starting off 2012 single, with a wonderful new job, more money, a thinner body and I am happier than I have been in a long time. I just want you ladies to know that my friend and I were both with eu’s ac’s last year, but this year we are single, happy and we are going to celebrate tonite, my new job and her new luxury car she bought 5 hours ago. Happy New Year everybody!!!! I will say a cheer and a prayer for all of you tonite.

  24. Moving On says:

    Thank you, Natalie! I will join the rest in thanking you for your courage, honesty, and willingness to share what you’ve learned with all of us.

    Your website has helped me along the arduous path of identifying a EUM, knowing he was a EUM but choosing denial, heartbreak, NC, more heartbreak…and finally I feel I am coming out the other end!

    Your wisdom is applicable to so many areas of life, not just dating & relationships. Anyway, I hope that’s not too much praise…Happy 2012 to Natalie and all the baggagereclaim readers. “Keep choosing you”!

  25. brenda says:

    Happy New Year Nat and Ladies…
    I want to firstly say thank you for all the lessons I have learnt here..I am striving to be a better person day by day…
    If not for this site,I dont know where I would be at this Moment…
    You are all an inspiration to me…
    Brenda

  26. makara says:

    Thank you Natalie for this video and for all your advice this year. Just like many of the other ladies here, I don’t know where I would be now if it wasn’t for this blog. It truly has been a saving grace. I have been single on NYE for a few years now and I always feel terrible anxiety about not having someone to kiss at midnight. I started to feel that way a few hours ago and after watching this video I just felt much better.

    I am not going to reach out to an ex and do something out of desperation of being along. Its just another day after all.

    Thank you again! I wish you and your family a wonderful evening and a fantastic 2012! A wonderful 2012 for all of us!!!

  27. madam butterfly says:

    *************HAPPY NEW YEAR NAT************

    I am a widow and usually go out and about NYE but i have a terrible cold and as soon as 2012 arrives i am off to my bed!

    |I wish you everything you wish for yourself and more, i have been helped on numerous occasions by your no-nonsense advice and i log on whenever you write something new! Your advice was expecially welcomed when i broke up with the Narcissist i had been with for 3 years, i know i am over this man now and looking forward to the future.

    (((((((love n hugs nat) night xx

  28. kirsten says:

    Happy new year Nat and all the beautiful people here, hope you all have a fantastic evening xxxx

  29. Magdalena says:

    Another big thanks to Natalie and all of the amazing and wise BR readers. Here’s to choosing ourselves in 2012!

    Cheers!

  30. Jaydee says:

    Happy New Year everyone. Thank you Nat and everyone here for not only helping me heal on so many levels but for sharing the rule book for healthy relationships, most importantly the one with myself. You have a wonderful gift that so many are grateful for. Found a new anthem instead of Adele, ’cause she is so not getting it. I don’t want “somebody like you” instead it should be “somebody I used to know” by Goyte. Heres the link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
    Looking forward to a bright and happy 2012.

    • PJM says:

      I love this song: just when I’m starting to feel sorry for the guy, in comes the girl and hits him right between the eyes with the line about ‘all the times you screwed me over’! Very refreshing.

  31. Mel says:

    Happy New Year Natalie. Thank you so much for your daily emails around the holidays last year regarding no contact that got me through this year with out the x ass clown involved in anyway what so ever.

    Wow, how great it is to look myself in the mirror and hold my head high that I no longer survive on the scraps from another persons life. You taught me how to be the main course : )

    I suppose I will always think of you from here on out at the holidays because your blog truly changed my way of thinking about the quality of living and it was this time of year that I was digging in all of your archives reading and reading and reading.

    Thank you, I hope you have a glorious new year with your family. I suspect your forum, blog and style is going to take you places you never imagined. You are special and one of a kind. xx

    Happy 2012!Cheers!

  32. AngelFace says:

    Natalie, & All You Dears:
    Thank You! and Happy New Year!
    This morning I had a massage and got rid of pain & sorrow & stuff from 2011. My aim was to release it from me totally, and when I left the spa I felt so much better. Had a fun day resting, and tonite having a quiet dinner with a friend.
    I’m grateful for all the lessons I have learned in 2011 & am confident 2012, for me, will be better especially in my relationships. I have learned so much here from ALL of YOU!!!!!!!!!! And I look forward to learning even more, right here on Baggage Reclaim. PS: Shared this site with six more women…

  33. Eternal Summer says:

    It is really awesome to finally see you & hear your voice! You have been a lighthouse in the stormy sea of my life & I am so grateful.

    I wish you success & happiness in 2012!

    Love, Summer

  34. Friends, you have meant more to me on my journey of relationship health then you will ever know. I had almost forgotten, last new years eve with the eu…a fabulous dinner, movie and wine at the top of the mountain…to receive an email the following day about not wanting us to be fwb. That was the first wtf planet are you on moments of 2011…following with cheating, hot like a heater and cold like a freezer…he did end up loaning me money for my business, to keep a foothold in my life of course. So he is not ALL bad, but he is bad enough to stay away from. 3 weeks ago we went to dinner for his birthday as friends…I enjoyed my time but at that moment I realized I could not have him in my life as a friend because saying yes to that was saying no to me! As a sidebar I felt NO attraction. I came home and cried! Wrote him monlthy checks for the loan and checked out. Incidentally the next night I met a guy who is sweet kind and available…after a few weeks who knows…but I am no longer a Florence, I am a diva. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  35. Lou says:

    Natalie and everyone,
    Thank you all and Happy New Year.
    The BR website and reader’s comments have been amazing and I have learnt so much. All the best for 2012 !
    X

  36. MaryC says:

    Happy New Year Nat and to all the ladies here at BR. As I sit here watching Dick Clark’s Rockin New Years Eve in America I’m grateful for your friendships and the insights you’ve all shared with me this past year. Its truly been a blessing and I look forward to what we all share with each other this coming year.

    I wish all of you health, happiness and good fortune.

  37. LightShaber says:

    Hi Natalie,

    Thank you for never giving up on us. For continually reminding us that we deserve so much
    more than just good enough. Every time you update your page, it gives us hope and it brings us back to life. In a way where, whenever we feel like we are losing ourselves and we are about to go back to that same pattern, you revive us and give us the strength to keep going.
    I’ve only been reading your blogs for two months now.
    I was googling about my failed relationship looking for an answer online. Then the moment I clicked on your page, it spoke to me. It was crystal clear. The answer was right infront of my face. Since then I have been coming back because I need to be reminded of who I am and find myself.

    I know no matter how much you try to write and speak to us, we will sometimes fail, ignore what you say, go with our own gut and continue on feeling hurt and follow the road to unavailable people and douche bags.
    That’s what happens.
    But we try.
    We try because no matter how much we fail you still keep writing and writing and it shows how much you care and your dedication.
    I appreciate everything you do to help us.
    You make a difference in this world and I hope you will continue to bring us hope.

    Happy New Year !!

  38. Magnolia says:

    Natalie, so nice to hear your voice and see your face along with your words. I can hear you saying “the only one who can be you is YOU” now, in my head. You’re a beauty and an inspiration! Thanks for being such a great role model and for all the work you do.

    To all the ladies and gents – happy new year and may 2012 bring you lots of love, growth and happiness.

  39. Miranda says:

    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
    Thank-you Nat for the video message, think I’ll know that word for word by the end of the month! You are so right about not regretting mistakes made, believe me I’ve made quite a few this past year, but I will learn and move forward this year…..I have many challenges ahead of me, keeping to NC is only one of them, but with your continued wisdom and voice of reason and all the wonderful supporters on this site, I will get there.
    Best wishes to you all xx

  40. Sushi says:

    Natalie, Grace and everyone on here,
    finding this blog has been the best thing that happened to me last year. It`s my foundation for turning my life around. I thought at first it was about getting over my ex EUM, but it is so much more. Natalie, you are a gorgeous person, you beam great things !!! Thank you and Happy New Year to you and your family and everybody here :)

  41. FinallyDidIt says:

    Natalie:
    It was truly wonderful to see your beautiful face and actually hear your voice. BaggageReclaim has become a part of my life and, thanks to you, and all the wonderful women (and men) who share their stories here, I realized I wasn’t alone in what I was experiencing and, finally, saw the light after being in darkness for so long.

  42. Groundhog Day says:

    Happy New Year Everybody!
    Much Love xxx <3

  43. Kerry30 says:

    Happy new year to all. Nat you literally saved my life this year. I’d been used and abused by an AC for 11 years and your site forced me to snap out of denial and face the truth of what he is and what he did to me. Thanks to you I’m on day 24 nc and got through Xmas and new year without giving in. I have a long way to go and I look forward to your emails but I would like to thank you for giving me the strength to take that first step towards untangling myself from such an unhealthy and abusive person. Xxx

  44. Lovingme says:

    Thank you Natalie and a very happy new year to you and thanks to you’re help Natalie this year is gonna be massive, I have booked my flights to go to India at the end of this month, a trip I’ve been putting off due to the ex EUM/AC, it’s an open ticket so I don’t know how long I’ll be there for and upon my return I will be taking up a once in a lifetime offer of following my dream and passion of becoming an Ayurvedic Doctor and most importantly of all, the AC/EUM is so far out of my life it’s not funny, of course he won’t realise that yet but that’s not my problem and all other men are also way off the radar at least, if not forever, until I truly get to the bottom of my dodgy relationship behaviour, I am currently reading Mr Unavailable again but I know I have already moved on big time! I also want to thank all the other ladies on this site and wish everyone of you a fabulous new year and if you’re not where I am yet, persevere and you will be and if you’re ahead of me, well done and good luck, best wishes and much love to all of us xxx

  45. Lynda from L says:

    Thanks to Natalie and everyone on site for helping me to reach the point I’m at today. Lots still to strive for and understand but my relationship with me is different now and I am so, so grateful for that. A brilliant New Year to all x

  46. Elle says:

    Thx Nat! This New year, i’m looking forward to a brand new me, not missing Mr. Unavailable anymore, and am no longer bitter.. Ladies, Cheers to ‘no crumbs’!!

  47. karen palmer says:

    Happy New Year Natalie and to everyone on this site. Ive only been reading the posts on this site for a few months and already it has transformed my life, and the way I’ve been looking at myself. Thank you sooooo much Natalie and everyone for everything that you’ve said to spur my complete turn around in the way I’m handling my relationships now. Your video is a wonderful way to begin a new year, inspiring, encouraging and so much more.

    Have the best New Year yet ladies and gents, and I will be continuing with you on your courageous journey into 2012.

    Karen

  48. Healing One says:

    Natalie,
    My ex broke up with me the day before NYE last year. I was inconsolable. I, too, stumbled upon your site looking for some relief from my intense pain–the day after he broke up with me. I had never heard of “No Contact”….and I took your advice and it changed me. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
    For the past year, I have relied on your site and the comments from others for support–even though I am not in a relationship now, it’s a reminder of what I deserve when I decide to love again.
    So–thank you. And a very happy new year to you!!

  49. Fearless says:

    Natalie,
    What an inspiring message to come to us here on new year’s eve. Thank you for BR – for all your support and help, which is invaluable to me.

    Every happiness to you and yours in 2012 – Lang may yer lum reek!

    Happy new year to all the fabulous people on BR! xx

  50. Mila says:

    ThankYou dear Natalie for helping me to get clear with some things that, hopefully, will stay in 2011.
    Happy New Year to you and to your loved ones! And much love in 2012 to all Baggage Reclaim readers.
    Hug*