Vixen’s Guide to: Catering to Your Man When You are Too Tired for Sex
April 19, 2006 by Vixen
Sometimes, even the most highly sexual and passionate relationship can head for Slumpville. Either one or both of you is really not into the encounter, or you are sticking to the same monotonous routine that turns sex into a mundane activity that is inane and humdrum instead of thrilling and exciting.
First of all, you have to recognise that you are in the doldrums. Sure, we’re not expecting you to screw like rabbits 24/7 for the rest of your lives but if you haven’t gotten some decent action in a week or two (or more!), then consider this a wake up call. The excuse of having a headache or being too tired might work for a few times but eventually your significant other will start getting turned off and upset by your rejection.
“I’m not rejecting him, I’m just too tired or don’t have the energy,” you might say, but recognise that he doesn’t construe it as such. Saying no to sex constantly tells him that you aren’t as attracted to him as he is to you. Since guys equate attraction with love this also sends alarm bells in his head that you aren’t really that in love with him. He might even start questioning your motives or if you are cheating on him. Sure in our world, it’s not logical, but that’s the way they think.
You might say that just because you don’t feel like it you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t really want to; or that ‘faking sex’ is worse than not having any at all however bear in mind that you are dealing with the male species. The average male thinks about sex about 72-206 times a day, it’s that important to their well being. So not getting any action for a significant amount of time is bound to drive him bonkers!
So what if you truly are genuinely tired? You want to have sex with him, but by the time you are done with your busy, long work day, errands, TV and dinner you just want to fall asleep! It’s hard enough waking up early in the morning around 6am but then waking up after not getting enough rest the night before is waaaay worse! You’ve tried to but it’s just not feasible during the work week to add anything else into the mix without ruining your day.
For starters, you have to reschedule your day. You already make the things that are important to you a priority and sex should rank right up there with the other basic needs. You might have to TiVo/videotape your favourite TV shows to enter the boudoir earlier. You might even need to schedule it in for a few regular nights a week. Scrap all evening plans that you normally have and spend the evening chilling with your man. Sure, it takes a bit out of the spontaneity angle–but at least that way you can plan around your busy life and keep both of you happy, connected and sexually satisfied.
Or you could be like my friend Roxanne and have sex in the morning instead of at night. “It’s actually a more satisfying encounter. I set my alarm for about 45 minutes earlier, go to bed earlier and wake up with enough energy to have several bouts of love-play. It’s a great way to start the day and leaves me smiling for the rest of the day.” Yeah, there’s the whole morning breath factor but I’m sure that you are smart enough to figure out how to deal with that;)
A guys needs are pretty basic and Good Loving ranks right on top of the list. So let’s stop slacking off and start catering more to our men.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide
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Also, we have to keep in mind the fact that it\’s an opportunistic world out there and if your man doesn\’t feel catered to or \”loved\” some little skank out there will supply the catering and sex and love and nab him away from us!!! If you have a good man,you don\’t want to lose him. right??
Carmenzta, please tell me that comment is not serious…