A sugar daddy is a man that spends more than the average male when in your presence. This is usually a wealthy and affluent male who has a lot of cash to spread around. Nowadays, sugardaddy/baby relationships are automatically synonymous with Gold-digger and Prostitution however this is a gross over-generalisation.

The sugar daddy is a man that has achieved a lot of success in his professional life, and this is mainly because he has focused all his energies into achieving this. He doesn’t have the time to date, talk for hours on the phone or do any of the normal dating rituals. He’s focused on business and work and yet he eventually he does want companionship as well. Most women are incapable of having such a limited relationship, and this is why he might introduce shopping sprees, cash, trips and other benefits into the equation.

Most sugar daddies don’t want to pay for sex. If they wanted a prostitute, I’m sure that they could hire one for much cheaper than getting a sugar baby. They want a pseudo-relationship, a relationship that is at their convenience and a lady who understands and doesn’t bicker and argue with him when he doesn’t call. If the relationship progresses into a sexual one, then, yeah, they aren’t going to turn you down, but initially it’s not about the sex.

The question remains, how do you get a sugar daddy? Well, you could respond to some ads on Craigslist, but they will most probably net you sugar daddy wannabes. A real sugar daddy wouldn’t use a free service–he would most probably use a paid one with more secrecy and professionalism involved. Do a websearch to find a site…most sites charge you for their use on a monthly basis like any other dating website.

Most of the time, the men aren’t pre-screened, so the screening is up to you. Use your discretion and go with your gut, just like you would if you were meeting a guy on the internet. Once you have put up your ad/responded to one, you generally should move at a fast rate if you want to nab the sugar daddy. Remember, these are busy people and their interest wanes quickly. Plus, there are probably other ladies out there trying to get him as well. Most SDs are in their late 30s, 40s and 50s. Arrange a meet as soon as you feel comfortable.

Meet in a public place. Please take your own transportation and be safe at all times. Most of the time, he will pick a location that he’s more comfortable in, like a really nice restaurant or bar. Dress up like you would for a regular date and be prepared to have fun! The initial meet is usually like a first date, both of you sizing each other up. This is a fast track relationship though, so be prepared to talk about your current relationships (if any) and your expectations from the onset.

He may/may not have other relationships and might be fine if you date other people when he’s not available. Be prepared to be pampered and spoiled to your heart’s content. If you have issues accepting gifts then this isn’t the relationship for you. If you don’t like a man paying your way, then don’t even plan on this. He’s generally a gentleman from the old school; he’ll take care of all the bills, bring you expensive presents and generally is very extravagant.

You must be yourself at all times. He wants a real woman, one who can understand the rigors of his business and one that knows how to play. You are his safe haven from the turmoil’s of the day, so you have got to be your most entertaining, playful best. Leave your negative energies at the door put on your happy face. It might be hard at times to be the goddess of delight when you just want to be a bear, but it’s totally essential to the relationship. If you don’t think you can be playful and nice, feel free to reschedule your date.

If the relationship progresses (like any other) into a sexual one, then just take it as you will. Remember, just because a man spends money on you doesn’t make you obligated to sleep with him if you don’t want to. This still applies in this relationship. His gifting doesn’t give him the right to treat you badly in any way while with him and you still have full autonomy in deciding what to do with him. However, this isn’t the type of relationship where you can play games. Just be honest from the beginning, if you are having second thoughts, say so; if you can’t go through with it let him know. Most guys are really understanding and give you the space needed to develop the relationship.

As always, the standard dating/relationship rules apply. It’s all about communication and honesty, and you will find out that this worldly, educated, financially independent man is fully capable of that.

The main drawbacks are that you don’t have a real boyfriend. He’s not the one to come over and defrag your hard-drive or pick you up if your car breaks down. He’s more likely to hire a computer technician to do it or send a limo to come pick you up. You can’t call him whenever you want because he will be busy with his job. You probably won’t meet his family or have him meet yours. You won’t have a ‘real’ boyfriend when you need one, but when he needs his Sugar baby, you have to be down for his company. Also while in this situation, it’s very hard for you to say no to certain things. However, you have to bear in mind that you have the right to say no.

It is possible to have a sugardaddy you just have to be prepared for everything else. Good luck.
Check out Vixen’s blog

Guest – who has written posts on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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2 Responses to Vixen’s Guide to: Having a Sugar Daddy

  1. Evvo says:

    yes, i agree with these sentiments totally, quite a few ladies i know have experienced the highs and lows of sugar daddy dating. like you say it works if the understanding is there to start with…

  2. Veronika says:

    I agree with you comments entirely. Women need to remember that sugar daddy dating is more of a mutually beneficial arrangement that a real relationship and that typical sugar daddies are usually seeking young sexy trophy women, with whom they can show-off with. If both sides understand what they are letting themselves in for then that’s fine. It’s also important that women verify the particulars of any man they meet to save disappointments or other more serious problems. Sites such as wealthymen.com and sugardaddie.com verify the backgrounds of men on the site.

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