Wake Up Ladies: We’re Not Fighting a War!
I talk a lot about guys, whether it’s ex’s, wannabe boyfriends or just men in general, and this week I’m switching the focus to the ladies. I’m lucky that I have a good circle of friends both here in London and where I was brought up, Dublin, Ireland. Some people I’ve been friends with for over eighteen years and in that whole time, I’ve probably only fallen out with about three people.
I cherish my female friendships and quite frankly, I don’t know what I would have done without them at times. My family are great but my friends give me a very different type of support that is irreplaceable and that is difficult for me to comprehend that other women would forgo. Yet I witness women all the time proverbially scratching each others eyes out and if I wasn’t mistaken, I would almost believe that we were fighting a war that most of us pretend isn’t happening.
The type of women that scare me are the ones that tell you what a brilliant friend they are and try to ram it down your throat with ‘Those who doth protest too much syndrome’, women that hate women and are only friends with guys, women that will do ANYTHING in the name of dick, and women that still think they’re at high school.
The ‘I’m the greatest friend on earth friend’ scares me almost as much as the guy that says ‘I’m a nice guy, I’m a NICE guy, I’m a NICE GUY’. Both very clearly have no idea what the hell either of these things and spend so much time telling people about it, as if saying it often enough will make it so. I tend to find that women who won’t shut up about what a wonderful friend they are, tend to be very much the opposite. They total up everything they’ve done and remind the poor woman on the receiving end of it about how much they think they’ve done. They often proclaim friendship when they don’t actually know the person very well at all and they are an exhausting type of friend to have that requires far too much maintenance.
Women that hate women crack me up. Some have very real trust issues that make it hard for them to forge female friendships, and they in retaliation to the women that they dislike so much, harbour lots of male friends, act like men, and are often alpha women in the office. They truly do believe that they need to grow balls to survive in a man’s world and scorn women that don’t operate the same way that they do because they represent everything that they think is weak about our gender. Some women have had some bad experiences with women making them feel that women are difficult to trust and to be fair, when you read about these four types of women in this article, who can blame them? However, I’ve had a several dubious relationships with men but I’m not about to start licking on both sides…. And there of course are the women that don’t have any real issue that has triggered their disregard of women, they just think that another women in their midst is an obstacle to dick.
Which brings me very nicely into Cockaholics, women that will do anything in the name of dick. These women are the scariest sort and God help any of you that cross their path. They will take off their earrings before they yank out yours and drag you by the hair. They’re the type of women that when they find out that their man is screwing someone else, they beat HER ass and take HIM back. They stab so-called friends in the back so that they can clear a path for themselves (Cockblocking minus the cock) and think nothing of calling their friends and women they don’t know whores, bitches, skanks, and ho’s with the caveat, ‘Yeah but you know I care about her really. But she is a ho…’ Everything is off limits for this type of woman and she will do anything to secure the man that she wants, with no regard for her friends. These women do hate other women to a certain extent, but it’s not because it’s a man’s world, it’s just because she wants a man in her vagina at any cost.
‘Yeah, but no, but yeah’ or ‘Like, Oh my God!’ women are like nails down a chalkboard, but not a patch on Cockaholics. They just haven’t managed to let go of the high school mentality and grow into fully fledged adults. They hang in cliques round the work cubicles which is their adult lockers, or at the tennis club or whatever their location of choice is, sniping at each others appearances and partners behind each others backs, but hugging and grinning face to face. Their friendships are very reminiscent of the type of friendships you have as a kid, and their ‘best friend’ changes all the time and they treat their female friends like property. One of them is probably sleeping with one of the groups men and has little conscience about it. They thrive on attempting to make other women insecure and no doubt make some people’s childhood nightmares and insecurities return. These are the type of women that turn up on reunion shows on Ricky Lake or Trisha Goddard, unrepentant about the poor woman’s life that they made a misery, despite her having spent a fortune on plastic surgery to get over her trauma of being bullied by women like this.
If anything about your own behaviour felt familiar whilst reading this, you don’t know where I live and I dare you to try and pull out my earrings! On a serious note though, the level of hate between women and the backstabbing is SAD and futile. We don’t have to be friends with everyone, but we don’t have to carry on as if we’re fighting a world war. Chasing dick at the expense of everything else is a futile exercise that will very rarely pay out the dividends that you expect. There is such a thing as karma and if you are a woman treating someone in any of these ways, there will be a whole lot of karma out there waiting to bite you in the arse.
Women can be a source of support as opposed to the enemy to destroy. Can’t we all just be friends? Probably not, but we could stop being bitches to each other and stop putting dick before common sense!
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim.
