Comments on: What drives a Drama Seekers need for attention and Relationship Crack?

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:26:37 +0000

I’m still trying to grasp this “drama seeking” thing. I have this vicious cycle in my head “Was it him – was it me”? I’m not sure if my unconscious negativity at times was in response to his need for ego stroking or blowing cold or if it was always there & I pushed him away with it. I’m still trying to sort that out. Sometimes I think just the sheer fact that he bombarded me with “flattery” & “fantasy” emails for so long when he was “reeling me in” that I began to wonder where that person went if he didn’t resiprocate the way I thought he should.

By: NML

NML — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:20:51 +0000

lisaq – Amen! Hell, I’m right there with you! How the hell do you think I found out all this stuff in the first place? All I had to do was look on my own frickin doorstep
Isis – The great thing is that in understanding your triggers you actually have the power to intervene. As for the yo-yoing, this is how they get you – the inconsistency becomes consistent. You know what to expect and then you get off on it. But broken down in real terms, he’s being consistent at mistreating you and being an assclown. I need to come up with some suggestions for managing your triggers.
Cheekie – Amen, amen! There is ALWAYS a trade off. I wrote it in the ebook – women go out with emotionally unavailable men because it works for them. And yes, you should definitely heed your own advice

By: cheekie

cheekie — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:34:54 +0000

Exactly! Regardless of the past and any kind of psychological reasons for the relentless Drama, there has to be some kind of pay off or we wouldn’t do it, would we?
Even if it is just to prove a point, a sick point.
I have seen some people stay in relationships that cause this kind of roller coaster just to prove a point, either
a) prove to themselves and the world they can ‘tough it out, good and bad’ with someone (maybe unlike their parents who divorced etc)
b) prove to the person they are involved with that there is something wrong with them – ie. an alcoholic partner- you can ‘show’ it back to them (ya, co dependancy anyone?)

Either way, or regardless, if you are aware enough to know that you have some elements in your past that might make you behave this way, then you are aware enough to stop it!

(I am supposed to listen to my own advice, right?)

By: Isis

Isis — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:25:56 +0000

My triggers are – boredom (“Oh, I feel bored, lets create some drama), loneliness, a feeling that SOMETHING should be happening…so I go to the man I know will help create the drama.

My parents haven’t had an easy relationship, and I swore I would never let the drama they have into my life. However, it appears I keep repeating it in my relationships.

But the one thing that really made me go to the EUM was my very first relationship. He would yo-yo in and out of my life, keep his dating profile open online and promise me there was nothing to it etc etc. So the drama is the only constant thing I’m used too in a relationship. If there is no drama I believe it’s not a real relationship. Once those triggers I mentioned above hit, I go back to the most recent EUM in my life.

By: lisaq

lisaq — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 11:13:53 +0000

Stop NML! Emotionally absent father, second best syndrome, raised by a drama seeker…you may as well just post my picture! Haha…damn your posts just scare me sometimes! I’m getting there though, I’m getting there!