What Women Want
December 23, 2005 by Vixen
Men are always complaining that they don’t know what women want. I can understand where that idea comes from, because usually, by the time you are done deciphering what emotion you are dealing with, we have already moved on to the next thing. Here are some main pointers for you to keep in mind when dealing with most of the women.
We want you to stop being oblivious: Even though you don’t have our heightened sixth sense, it is quite possible for you to be as intuitive to our moods as we are to yours. When you come home after a rough day at work, we immediately sense that you need help relaxing and that you need to chill out. All we ask for is the same consideration. After interacting with us for a significant period of time, you should be able to tell by our facial expressions, our gestures, and our voice inflections what our mood is, so pattern yours accordingly. For example, if your sweetie is normally talkative, but all of a sudden she is sullen and quiet…chances are something is wrong. It wouldn’t kill you to ask her what the problem is or if she is alright.
We want you to offer comfort: You can never go wrong with just wrapping your arms around us and not saying anything at all. Communication is 90% nonverbal and there is nothing more comforting than a pair of masculine arms holding us tight. We have the power to set our world alright, but sometimes, nothing is a better fixer upper than your arms.
We want you to listen: You may think that you vaguely hearing what we are saying as you sort through your mail, or flick through TV channels counts as listening, but on Venus…that doesn’t cut it. When listening, look into our faces, pick up our non-verbal cues, and pay attention to what we are saying. Reiterate your understanding in your own words and participate in the discussion. These are basic communication skills besides the grunting and casual nods that you send our way.
We want you to be there: Whenever we have an issue, we would like to just pick up the phone, an email or drop by to talk it over in person. That’s what ladies do to foster connections and we don’t take offence when another woman needs us. Even though sometimes physically being there is not always possible, just the fact that we can connect with you in some way helps. Don’t turn off your cell phone, don’t ignore our messages ~ all of this will just amp up our emotional level and cause us to kick you to the curb.
We want you to understand that shopping is therapeutic: Do not make fun of the amount of money we spend on shoes or clothes, even though we have a closet full. Shopping is not just a quick dash into a store to pick up some jeans. It’s hours spent in playful delight, observing people, latest trends, catching up with our girls, trying on expensive stuff that we will one day be able to afford and distracting us from our everyday lives. Equate our love for shopping with your love of sports and you might understand the enormity of it and why it’s important to us.
We want you to acknowledge on a consistent basis that we are the best: Most of the time, we manage to breeze through life in the secure knowledge that we are the most fabulous woman on God’s green earth. However, you have got to recognise and articulate it as well. Checking out other women is mostly unacceptable and you must have a good reason for the rubbernecking. Good sentences to use include, “Her jeans are nice but they would look better on you.” Your celebrity of choice Angelina Jolie, Beyonce etc. might be considered a good reason, but only if you don’t fuss over us drooling on the very hot Paul Walkers of Hollywood.
We want you to be sexually competent: This is a very important subject. There are many things that you should be competent with, and these include but are not limited to foreplay, kissing, making out, oral sex, sex & afterplay. If you are lacking in certain aspects, or especially down there, make sure that you can make up for it in other aspects. My friend had a guy with a 3-incher tell her that he doesn’t go downtown ever but it’s perfectly fine for her to suck his little hotdog. Unacceptable. If you are incompetant, at least be a quick learner. Ask us what we want you to do and if you are doing it right. We won’t be offended if you ask for lessons, actually, they might be quite fun.
We want you to acknowledge us as your intellectual equal: Contrary to popular opinion, we are waaaay smarter than you guys, however, we just let you live in your own little world. Even though it would be an ego boost for you to think that you are very intelligent, don’t assume that your babe is a dumb-bell because she has huge knockers or is blonde. Most of the time, we just act that way to help you feel better and cater to your ignorance. If you knew the depth of our intellectual prowess, you would be stunned. So just act like you think that we are equal; engage us in stimulating conversations, wordplay and debates. Nothing stirs up passion better than a friendly argument.
We want an equitable division of interests: In most relationships, it’s all about give and take. Women can be extremely supportive humans and we would like the same consideration. If we attend your basketball games, support your hobbies, and meet your friends, we would like the same in return. We promise to go lightly on the chick flicks and chick lits, but at least show that you are making an effort to be supportive of our interests.
We want you to smell good. Always: A little grooming effort goes a loooong way. Cheesy willies and smelly drawers are unacceptable. Even if you don’t have cologne on, your natural smell should be appealing. So take a shower everyday. It wouldn’t kill you.
We want you to accept our friends and family: Chances are, you might think that my best friend is a big flirt, but your disdain of her won’t help our relationship. Picking fights with my siblings is MY job, not yours and you don’t have to constantly tell me what a lecher my uncle is. I probably already know all of this, but these people are important to me and I love them. Respect that and don’t make me choose.
That’s your basic crash course guys. Perhaps one day, you might gain admittance to the female mind a la Mel Gibson, but until then…just try to deal with this.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide
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