Comments on: When Mr Unavailables and Assclowns Dripfeed You Info Part Two

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:54:43 +0000

Betterwithouthim,

I’m glad to have seen your post. In my learning process about the EUM I was involved with last year, I have been spending quite a lot of time trying to figure out why I would accept such behaviour. I dawned on me that, like yourself, I also had “close” friends who would treat me similarly.

I agree with you that in trying to become emotionally available yourself, it is important to surround like with like. Gets a little lonely at times but in the end, I believe it is definitely for the best, both in friendships and intimate relationships.

By: Isabella

Isabella — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 16:50:30 +0000

Great post NML! Wow, the lies that EU and Assclowns tell and some lie so much that they forget the lies and lie some more. Seems that most folks in my life dripfeed information from my family to the most recent EU. They want complete honesty from me but they don’t give it. I don’t call them on their lies and I know that they are lying but I have tried to give them the benefit of the doubt or think that that somehow they are telling the truth. Gotta work on myself and get real or I will keep attracting liars.

By: Loving Annie

Loving Annie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:10:20 +0000

You’re brilliant, NML.

You speak truth and in it lies freedom !
Nobody else explains it so clearly in a way that really allows a woman to see what she has been doing – and then able to walk away from a man because she sees the b.s. clealry !

How empowering you are !

By: Betterwithouthim

Betterwithouthim — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:47:28 +0000

I just realized today (after reading Part1 and 2) that I have been engaging myself with 3 other girlfriends that are drip feeding me along just like an EUM. I just realized why I was feeling so weird around them, especially when all 4 of us are together having a night out.

I’m trying and working on becoming emotionally Available, and they are continuously being emotionall UNavailable. I keep feeling like I’m walking on eggshells and have been unconciously limiting my interactions with them because I just feel so weird around the 3 of them most of the time. It’s completely dysfunctional, and there’s a lot of drama going on. One person always stirring up the pot, and the other 2 skirting the issues and drip feeding the truths. Yuck! This is awful.

I’m definitely going to do some work on this situation, pay more attention, stay in the here and now and really try to figure out whether or not these girlfriends are worth any more of my time. I don’t think the NCR fits here, but there is definitely going to be some boundary limits set and we’ll see where it goes from there.

THis is a perfect example that there are emotionally unavailable people all around us, especially if we were emotionally unavailable ourselves over the past years. Like attracts like, it doesn’t matter if they are men, girlfriends, co-workers or relatives. Keep your eyes and ears open and look around you. What are you attracting?

Thanks for the eyeopener NML!

By: Anusha

Anusha — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:19:04 +0000

Nice post.My ex wouldnt cheat on me(at least not that I know of) but I do think he would lie about other things.He would lie to make me think that he was busy when he realy wasnt so I couldnt ask for more time together.All kind of things like “I didnt hear the phone” (when he didnt answer my calls),to “Im having breakfast right now but I get back to you when Im done”(and he wouldnt contact me back until 4 hours later.Realy who takes 4 hours to have breakfast?).One time I even tricked him to find out if he was lieing.I have called him a few times and he havent answered, so I asked his sister to call him to see if he realy couldnt answer or just was avoiding my calls.And guess what happened? Exactaly,he answered the phone.But every time I would confront him for lieing he would just switch the blame to me.He would say that I didnt trust on him and that bothered him and would even get mad at me.Realy is unbelievable what those guys can do.

I remember once too that he holded information from me.We had fighted and he decided that he wanted a time away,but didnt let me know that (I just find it out later).After a few days ignoring me,I emailed him to know what was going on,he explained that he wanted a time way and that he was still upsed with me but that he was in a hurry so he would write another email explaning things better other day.But that email never came.Some more days passed,we started talking again and I never got that email explaning what bothered him.I never could understand that but now I know that he was dripfeeding me.