Why Being Single is Fabulous
February 14, 2006 by Virginia Belle
We have all heard the phrase “single and fabulous”, but I think being single IS fabulous. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but now that I’ve finally accepted the fact that I’m not getting married any time soon, if at all, I have to say, I am really starting to enjoy myself.
This time of year is especially difficult for single women. Some of us dread Valentine’s Day to the point of calling in sick to work or wearing all black as though we are in mourning for our sex lives. Most of us just try not to think about it and wish it would hurry up and get over with so we don’t have to think about it for another 364 days. Then the next day, we go buy the chocolates that are 50% off and stuff ourselves with them to sedate ourselves from our painful loneliness. It is excruciating to feel so terribly left out. As if we don’t feel left out on the other days of the year! Why do they get a holiday to boot? Well, buck up, because if you are anything like me, you are sick of feeling like this. Being single is so great, I may not ever get married! Here’s why…
1. If you are single, it’s all about you. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can do what you want, when you want. Don’t tell anyone where you are. Don’t shave your legs. Sleep until 3pm. Eat ice cream for dinner. Listen to that music no one else likes. Go back to school. Join the Peace Corps. You answer to no one. Except maybe your boss.
2. You don’t have to worry about anyone saying the following phrases about you: “Isn’t it so sad that she settled for such a loser?” “Isn’t it so sad that she doesn’t realise he’s cheating?” “Wouldn’t you lose your mind if you had all those kids?” “God, I hope my marriage is never like hers.” See where I’m going with this? Just because we are single doesn’t mean we are missing out.
3. The world is your oyster—and what an aphrodisiac! Any single man you want could potentially be yours. ANY. Married/coupled women can’t say that. They have made their choice. So if Brad Pitt moves next door, they can’t leap on the opportunity. (But if they are a good friend, they will call you to give you a heads up!) When you are a single girl, you can flirt all you want, smooch all you want, come home tomorrow if you want. You’ll probably get some free drinks as an extra-added bonus!
4. You will always be perceived as younger, sexier and more mysterious for the simple fact that you are single. Something happens when you marry—I don’t know if it is because you usually stop going out or if you usually start to gain baby weight, but married women become, well, matrons. You lose a certain amount of sex appeal when you marry—you are no longer supposed to look hot and tempting for any man, just your hubby. Yawn!
5. No annoying male behaviour to deal with. No worrying about someone cheating on you. No dirty boxers on the floor. No games to watch. No jealous boyfriend who gets upset when you hang out with your male buddies. No camping trips. No mundane chores that married people have to do. No diapers. No toilet seats up. No lying about how much shopping you did. No driving anyone to the airport. No fights about whose turn it is to take out the garbage. No one will give you power tools for your birthday. (Well, not those big heavy ones, anyway!)
6. You are one day closer to meeting your next hottie. Think about what you have to look forward to: that first kiss, falling in love, giggling at inside jokes, lots of sex…all that great stuff that makes being in a couple great. You are just experiencing delayed gratification. The longer you wait and the pickier you are, the better man you will get—I promise! And when you do get married, your wedding pictures will take much longer to look out-of-date than any of your friends’ photos from 1992!
7. Or, conversely, you are one day closer to leading that fabulous lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of but could never have if you got married. Try to think of a role model: My aunt never got married. So she has, instead, travelled the world, shopped to her heart’s content, had lots of exotic boyfriends, seen her name in print, met famous people and generally led a totally glamorous lifestyle. Getting married is not the end-all and be-all of happiness. There are several paths we can take as women. Some of them do not involve stretch marks.
8. Independent is your middle name. We are lucky to live in this day and age where it is more socially acceptable to remain single. We can do anything we want! And if we have a problem or need help, modern women are at a point where we can solve our own problems. Talk about empowerment! We don’t need anyone, so when we couple up, we are doing it because we want to, not to be rescued.
9. You can be alone more easily when you are single. Sometimes you just need that, and when you are coupled up, it’s much more difficult. Cherish being alone!
10. Trust me, someone is envying you. Possible phrases from your coupled friends include: “Man, I miss being single.” “I’m so tired all the time between Hubby and the kids…” “I don’t remember the last time I went to a party!” “I haven’t had sex in three months because my husband thinks I’m fat.” “Me? Well, I watched TV and made dinner…” “My boyfriend is an asshole.” “I’m getting a divorce.” “Enjoy it while it lasts!”
In order to reach this state of singles’ nirvana, you have to keep things in perspective. Sure it stinks to sleep alone every night. But it’s better than sleeping with a wife-beater, a cheater or a closet cross-dresser. It helps to have a role model (like my aunt) who can remind you how much fun you can have all by yourself. Try and remember that you can find love and happiness at any age and that just because someone is coupled up doesn’t mean they are happy. You have the ability to be happy all alone, so to anyone who gives you a hard time—including that inner dialogue you have—just say, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can be bad all by myself. Please excuse me while I go and make my mark on the world!”
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