Why Do I Miss My Shit of an Ex
November 15, 2005 by NML
Whether he broke up with you, or you tossed him to the curb, after the initial pain of the breakup has passed, you still find yourself at the oddest moments, missing Whatshisface. Why?
No matter how long (or little), your Ex was in your life, when he/she does disappear there is a void left. Anytime you know anyone for any length of time, they tend to leave little footprints in your mind and in your heart. When you get a new job, you miss your old co-workers (even though you hated working there!), when you move, you miss your neighbour (even though you only spoke to them a few times a week when they stole your paper). It’s human nature to miss one another, and this should not scare the willies out of you.
You hear a song on the radio that you know that he loved, and instantly, your heart aches for him. You see a car like his when you’re driving down the highway and you think of him. You wonder what he’s doing, whom he’s with and if he’s thinking of you. You reach over to the phone, willing yourself not to call his digits, but knowing at the same time that you are dying to just hear the sound of his voice.
Memories are vivid the first few weeks after a break-up and you relive every moment, savouring the good parts and glossing over the bad. You erect a shrine for your ex in your mind, unconsciously holding on to him and not letting go. Even if he was a total ass, cheated on you and stole your money, you still miss having him in your life, a warm body next to you at night, his toiletries in the cabinet, and those calls at the end of the day.
All these are the normal stages of grieving the loss of any relationship, and shouldn’t send you into the depths of despair.
Even months after a break-up, when you have moved on to your next guy (or not), you might have moments of nostalgia for that shit of an ex. It’s ok, don’t freak out. All of this is natural and will fade with time. The key to getting over any break-up is time.
Time to process, time to forget, time to heal. Time is your friend and use that time wisely. Fill the void in your heart with new hobbies and friends, fake it until you feel it. With each person, the amount of time needed to get over a break-up varies, but eventually you will reach closure.
However, if after a significant period of time you are still pining over the One that Got Away, then you might need professional help, or a royally good f*ck to get you all sorted out.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide
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You really touch my heart. You know what breakup means. You really telling me the truth. I still miss my ex. Thank you!!