Comments on: Why do men blow hot and cold? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/ Getting you savvy, smart, sussed and sexy about dating and relationships. Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:48:12 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Andy http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-195552 Andy Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:07:54 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-195552 I had a great relationship with my girlfriend but within weeks she was attempting full commitment - including wanting me to move in with her.She also did some very bad things,including attempting to get pregnant deceptively.She constantly sought verbal clarification of my love for her, to the point of obsession.She wanted me to ask her to marry her,just pretend to...this had the effect of pushing me away - it was all too much.All this coupled with the fact that she had split from her husband 7 years before and was yet to formalise it.I made the mistake of not completely breaking off with her for these reasons - I continued to be friends with her and this gave her hope that things would change.I also hoped that she would change too.I am not sure this makes me a commitment phobe - I think I was simply pushed too hard,too soon and had trust issues due to her actions. I had a great relationship with my girlfriend but within weeks she was attempting full commitment - including wanting me to move in with her.She also did some very bad things,including attempting to get pregnant deceptively.She constantly sought verbal clarification of my love for her, to the point of obsession.She wanted me to ask her to marry her,just pretend to…this had the effect of pushing me away - it was all too much.All this coupled with the fact that she had split from her husband 7 years before and was yet to formalise it.I made the mistake of not completely breaking off with her for these reasons - I continued to be friends with her and this gave her hope that things would change.I also hoped that she would change too.I am not sure this makes me a commitment phobe - I think I was simply pushed too hard,too soon and had trust issues due to her actions.

]]> By: Jessica http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-161914 Jessica Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:31:31 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-161914 I have been dating a guy for nearly 3 months and things seemed like they were going great. He was introducing me to his friends; kept inviting me out to do things and then all of a sudden, BAM! He's not calling, or returning calls. I am very hurt because I thought we were on the same page, but obviously I was wrong. I've been through this in the past and I will NOT let this guy suck me back in (if he ever decides to stop being a coward and come out of hiding). I want a guy who wants to be with me! I deserve no less. Chin up ladies.... supposedly the nice guy is out there.... ugh I have been dating a guy for nearly 3 months and things seemed like they were going great. He was introducing me to his friends; kept inviting me out to do things and then all of a sudden, BAM! He’s not calling, or returning calls. I am very hurt because I thought we were on the same page, but obviously I was wrong. I’ve been through this in the past and I will NOT let this guy suck me back in (if he ever decides to stop being a coward and come out of hiding). I want a guy who wants to be with me! I deserve no less. Chin up ladies…. supposedly the nice guy is out there…. ugh

]]> By: Maggie Perez http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-151912 Maggie Perez Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:16:28 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-151912 yeah, i'm in a relationship right now and a lot of this sounds just like him. we've been together for almost 2 years and our relationship is always fluctuating. It goes up and down all the time. why can't it ever be straight!!!!!!! yeah, i’m in a relationship right now and a lot of this sounds just like him. we’ve been together for almost 2 years and our relationship is always fluctuating. It goes up and down all the time. why can’t it ever be straight!!!!!!!

]]> By: Vicky http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-145543 Vicky Wed, 02 Apr 2008 03:33:13 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-145543 OMG, Jenny. You took the words out of my mouth. I am experiencing the exact same issues. I am SO in love with him. And I swear, in return, all my confidence is gone. He's being so cold and I haven't done anything wrong. I hate being the victim, but I so am! OMG, Jenny. You took the words out of my mouth. I am experiencing the exact same issues. I am SO in love with him. And I swear, in return, all my confidence is gone. He’s being so cold and I haven’t done anything wrong. I hate being the victim, but I so am!

]]> By: Jenny http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-133098 Jenny Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:36:54 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-133098 I'm having this experience right now and at the risk of trying to nice it up for myself, I think this guy fell in love and the crap was scared out of him. BUT even if he's in love and fearful, the fact that he's blowing hot/cold doesn't make me feel loved - just blue. I am still emotionally invested in him and honestly wish it could work out but I really don't think it will and I have to go through the process of detaching myself from hi. For me, what I believe will work is a discussion with him about his behaviour for the sake of much needed closure. I’m having this experience right now and at the risk of trying to nice it up for myself, I think this guy fell in love and the crap was scared out of him. BUT even if he’s in love and fearful, the fact that he’s blowing hot/cold doesn’t make me feel loved - just blue. I am still emotionally invested in him and honestly wish it could work out but I really don’t think it will and I have to go through the process of detaching myself from hi. For me, what I believe will work is a discussion with him about his behaviour for the sake of much needed closure.

]]> By: Pheobie http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-97999 Pheobie Sun, 23 Dec 2007 21:08:48 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-97999 Great article... I am dating with 58 years old guy, who are not emotionally available (I am 42). I am very attracted his power, money and knowledge, yet tired to be his yo-yo girl. Age doesn't determine anything in terms of the relationship... Great article… I am dating with 58 years old guy, who are not emotionally available (I am 42). I am very attracted his power, money and knowledge, yet tired to be his yo-yo girl. Age doesn’t determine anything in terms of the relationship…

]]> By: Emma http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-80447 Emma Wed, 07 Nov 2007 19:47:10 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-80447 Great Alanis Morissette quote. Great Alanis Morissette quote.

]]> By: Dreamgirl Shopping http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-79996 Dreamgirl Shopping Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:06:01 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-79996 If onlt I had read this before I got married... ten long years ago... argh! If onlt I had read this before I got married… ten long years ago… argh!

]]> By: Evjeka Bal http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-64586 Evjeka Bal Mon, 24 Sep 2007 05:21:20 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-64586 The problem with most men is that they don't know what they really want from a relationship. They don't even know themselves! They only know their interests and their job, so they swing from wanting to commit to "Ah, I'm in prison..." One way of finding a partner that actually stuck to his word and committed, was to <a>get to know myself</a> and therefore I knew what I wanted and communicated it from the start. I then helped him to work out what <a href="http://www.newrelationship4u.com" rel="nofollow"> he wants </a> and he found out that he wants a committed relationship!! Great blog! The problem with most men is that they don’t know what they really want from a relationship. They don’t even know themselves! They only know their interests and their job, so they swing from wanting to commit to “Ah, I’m in prison…”

One way of finding a partner that actually stuck to his word and committed, was to get to know myself and therefore I knew what I wanted and communicated it from the start.

I then helped him to work out what he wants and he found out that he wants a committed relationship!!

Great blog!

]]> By: AERNYC http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-63977 AERNYC Sat, 22 Sep 2007 03:15:07 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-63977 I definately just dated one of those. For three months. When we first started dating he came on very strong, always telling me how much he liked me and as soon as i started to reciprocate all of a sudden i was being too serious. As soon as i back off he starts complaining how i'm using him for sex and that he wants something more serious. So i get drawn back in...and you can guess the rest! Talk about hot and cold and not knowing what he wanted. Love reading your blog! I definately just dated one of those. For three months. When we first started dating he came on very strong, always telling me how much he liked me and as soon as i started to reciprocate all of a sudden i was being too serious. As soon as i back off he starts complaining how i’m using him for sex and that he wants something more serious. So i get drawn back in…and you can guess the rest!

Talk about hot and cold and not knowing what he wanted.

Love reading your blog!

]]> By: JaneC http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-63498 JaneC Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:42:06 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-do-men-blow-hot-and-cold/#comment-63498 I am finally out of my yo-yo days after 2+ years. I made so many excuses for him from his inexperience with women to his being ambitious and hard-working and committed to his business. He falls in every one of those paragraphs above! I finally realized all that was just his "cover" to stay out of a committed relationship. "Men who are genuinely interested in you show that they are consistently." Too true! I am finally out of my yo-yo days after 2+ years. I made so many excuses for him from his inexperience with women to his being ambitious and hard-working and committed to his business. He falls in every one of those paragraphs above!

I finally realized all that was just his “cover” to stay out of a committed relationship.

“Men who are genuinely interested in you show that they are consistently.”

Too true!

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