Why Doesn’t He Call?
This is a question uttered by females everywhere. Why doesn’t he call after you have sex with him? Do you want the short and dirty answer or the long-winded one? Well, since I’m Special Dark I think I’ll tell you both.
The short answer is: He scored, game over. You see men, for all their sophistication and evolution, love sex and, oftentimes, there’s a hardwiring in our brains that causes us to make a game or competition out of getting it. That doesn’t make the act any less significant but by thinking about it in terms of a game, we are able to clearly define whether we won or lost, and fool ourselves into believing that the outcome is not tied to our self esteem. The long answer, as always, is much more complicated.
There are few things more beautiful than a woman allowing herself to be made love to by the one she loves or desires. There’s a raw openness, a quiet intimacy that affirms everything that a man is or ever will be. It’s powerful and while men may joke about it, try to turn it into a game, or make light of the feelings associated with it, that’s only because we’re scared. Much like the little boy who doesn’t understand the afterlife, harbours a fear of ghosts, we do not trust and have a measure of fear about this almost mystic aspect of reality. Generally when a person can’t directly interface with something, they will relate to it through mockery and incredulity.
I can tell you that it is hard to think of anything hotter than that first time the woman I’m with opens her legs to me. She’s giving me an invitation to be part of her most sacred place in the closest way imaginable. There’s a vulnerability and an unspoken statement of trust and sensuality that cannot be duplicated.
I said all that to say this: Since there’s so much emotionally charged, highly intuitive stuff going on with a sexual encounter most guys reduce it down to this: Make the event happen, deal with the “strings” afterward. For some guys the cuddling afterward are the strings, for others the phone call afterward is. It’s very important to realise that sex works very differently for men than women.
Men will have sex with someone they care about or someone that they are just attracted at a specific point in time–sans relationship or potential thereof. We figure that since the drunk chick we woke up next to isn’t nearly as attractive nor as interesting as she’d seemed the night before, so why drag it out– from our perspective why call if there’s no real basis for a relationship. My friends who are girls would answer, “Courtesy”. Pure and simple if you sleep with someone you should at least have the courtesy to call afterward and, even if you don’t want a relationship, just call and let her know that.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? But from a man’s perspective we’re afraid of getting the one girl who’s needy and clingy and who, once we call, we can’t get rid of. We doubt that the woman will take it well. Woman’s lib notwithstanding, woman tend to get more emotional than men and the last thing a dude wants is some teary-eyed conversation because the girl he screwed the night before is taking the fact he didn’t want anything more from her personally.
Bottom line, we like the clean break because it’s a clean break. No fuss, no muss. I’m not saying that it’s right or wrong but it is often certain guy’s preference to have it this way. If we don’t call after the deed is done, move on and find that Mr. Right who will.
Special Dark is a special blend of intelligence, wit, and an irreverant sense of humor that has strong views on women and relationships. Originally descended from the Alpha Male class of the society, he has suited up on debonair charm and retained his gentlemanly ways to the consternation of the rest of his species.
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