Furthermore, never ever confront them when you have been drinking. Not only will you come across as even more sad and pathetic than the ex in question undoubtedly thought you were in order to treat you like a worthless piece of crap, but you will end up crying into a bag of cold chips at 5am moaning about how you will be alone and sad forever, and then awake 6 hours later with a blurred memory of making a complete twat of yourself. The memory will serve to be a painful reminder of a. why you have no self-esteem, b. why you can’t ever seem to find a meaningful relationship with a decent guy and c. why sambucca should come with a sticker warning of the potential nasty aftermath of its consumption.

Umm, about a simple question being confused as nagging .. usually it is nagging, she is pretending to herself she isn’t trying to correct or change me. Again. On the same topic. Which she hasn’t let me deal with, come to terms with (on my terms), or resolve (to her satisfaction).

Freedom,

If the urge to make contact again is ‘normal’, how is that different from the Denial stage of the common grief pattern? I think grief counseling is probably the appropriate way to deal with a loss, whether the separation is through death or choice. You lost a loved one, someone your body has adapted to and urges you to be close to again. I think one of the sad things is how family and friends tend to downplay or ridicule the very real emotional turmoil that follows the end of a relationship.

Let’s face it…when we are in that ‘getting over it’ stage, we make up every excuse under the sun for why we need to talk to the ex ‘just one last time’. Again, its common. I like to think of it as a natural phase of ‘letting go’.

The important thing to remember during this phase is, ‘Hold on to your pride’. No matter how much you want to vent, to make contact, to get the last word in…whatever excuse you are making…Don’t do it!!! You will only feel like an idiot later.

How often have you heard someone say they regretted holding back from confronting an ex? Now compare that to how often you have heard someone say they regretted confronting them.

On hind sight, we always say, ‘I’m glad I didn’t. Why was it bothering me so much anyway?’