You Learn

March 7, 2006 by NYM

NYM Today I’m doing something new. We’re going to have a poem. Yes, NYM is not only a talented columnist and ranter, but deep down inside, she’s also a poet.
I was introduced to this poem at my sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta, during my university years. During their “Hell Week,” while the frat boys were forcing their initiates to enjoy such activities as circle jerks, sodomising farm animals and eating their own faeces, my sorority sisters and I were reading each other poems, exchanging homemade gifts and singing cheesy songs during our version of same, called “Inspiration Week.”

Not a fan of floofy poetry, the following poem’s message is so spectacularly true that it did immediately resonate with me and I’ve always since carried a copy of it in my wallet. Its words have been an immeasurable comfort to me many times during trying periods in my life. I hope this poem holds true for you as it always has for me.

You Learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.

~Veronica A. Shoffstall~
About the author: After receiving a nice, wholesome upbringing in a typical Midwestern town of the US, this intelligent, witty, and frequently snarky chick, craving adventure, managed to receive her first real-world instruction on the streets of Paris. After that eye opening and somewhat harrowing experience, on a whim, she moved to The Big Apple where she was permanently corrupted. She’s an armchair psychologist and enjoys analyzing herself and others, while maintaining a deep appreciation for the ironies of life.

Visit New York Moments Blog