Comments on: Your Gut – That Inner Voice http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:14:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Fake It 'Til I Make It http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-151361 Fake It 'Til I Make It Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:00:21 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-151361 Hey all, Thanks for the advice. For the past month or so I've been doing my best to keep our relationship strictly business. But it's hard to chart a path between outright hostile and far too pliable. The man in question is smart, funny, and has provocative and thought-provoking comments to make about politics -- and I'm a political junkie. I made the mistake a few days ago of thinking I could enjoy his conversation without feeling manipulated or depressed afterwards, but I was wrong. So I've recommitted myself to my own modified NCR, and I'm hoping it'll get me to a place where I can truly say that I don't care what's going on in his head, because I'm convinced that it'll never make sense. Hey all,

Thanks for the advice. For the past month or so I’ve been doing my best to keep our relationship strictly business. But it’s hard to chart a path between outright hostile and far too pliable. The man in question is smart, funny, and has provocative and thought-provoking comments to make about politics — and I’m a political junkie. I made the mistake a few days ago of thinking I could enjoy his conversation without feeling manipulated or depressed afterwards, but I was wrong. So I’ve recommitted myself to my own modified NCR, and I’m hoping it’ll get me to a place where I can truly say that I don’t care what’s going on in his head, because I’m convinced that it’ll never make sense.

]]> By: NML http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150857 NML Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:44:35 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150857 Finally over it - eventually when they realise that they have no power and you've moved on, they are likely to get a job elsewhere. It's no fun for them when they can't screw with you. I will write a post on this though - no contact at work and how to break yourself into it. Thanks for all your comments everyone! Finally over it – eventually when they realise that they have no power and you’ve moved on, they are likely to get a job elsewhere. It’s no fun for them when they can’t screw with you. I will write a post on this though – no contact at work and how to break yourself into it.
Thanks for all your comments everyone!

]]> By: FinallyOverIt http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150851 FinallyOverIt Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:02:39 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150851 I have to work every day with my ex-EUM, and we both ride the train into work (but not together). I really don't care that seeing him every day lets me know that he's ok. It would be easier to move on if I didn't have to work with him, but I have to own up to making the choice to get involved with someone I work with, so that means I have to deal with seeing him every day. I agree about just staying professional, making sure to keep the boundaries in place, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other! To be honest, I keep hoping he will get another job somewhere else someday. I have to work every day with my ex-EUM, and we both ride the train into work (but not together). I really don’t care that seeing him every day lets me know that he’s ok. It would be easier to move on if I didn’t have to work with him, but I have to own up to making the choice to get involved with someone I work with, so that means I have to deal with seeing him every day. I agree about just staying professional, making sure to keep the boundaries in place, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other! To be honest, I keep hoping he will get another job somewhere else someday.

]]> By: cheekie http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150846 cheekie Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:08:50 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150846 Hey Fake it till I make it. I hÃ¥ve been in that exact situation a few times. And definitely just go about your business. Don't purposely avoid or ignore him (I've tried that and it takes more energy in close quarters than he's worth). Just go on like you don't know him or don't care. It will get easier with practice. And when people ask, just say 'God no, I'm fine, it doesn't bother me at all'...pretty soon you will believe it yourself. Honest. It'll be a bit tougher cause you do have more unrelenting reminders, as in him, but it isn't impossible at all! And one good thing, you have the advantage of seeing him and knowing that he is ok. Which is one of our big excuses for breaking NCR isn't it. 'But I wanted to know if he's alright'...lol...ya ya Break a leg girl! You'll be fine! Hey Fake it till I make it. I hÃ¥ve been in that exact situation a few times. And definitely just go about your business. Don’t purposely avoid or ignore him (I’ve tried that and it takes more energy in close quarters than he’s worth).
Just go on like you don’t know him or don’t care. It will get easier with practice.
And when people ask, just say ‘God no, I’m fine, it doesn’t bother me at all’…pretty soon you will believe it yourself. Honest.
It’ll be a bit tougher cause you do have more unrelenting reminders, as in him, but it isn’t impossible at all!

And one good thing, you have the advantage of seeing him and knowing that he is ok. Which is one of our big excuses for breaking NCR isn’t it.
‘But I wanted to know if he’s alright’…lol…ya ya

Break a leg girl! You’ll be fine!

]]> By: nysharon http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150816 nysharon Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:31:27 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150816 Fake It 'Til I Make It> Its all bussiness, that is how you modify NCR. Don't be alone, smile and nodd, and keep moving. If its work, always be professional and bussiness focused. Do not respond to any emails, IM's unless they are work related and then do not insert any personal comments. Its as if it never was> Fake It ‘Til I Make It>
Its all bussiness, that is how you modify NCR. Don’t be alone, smile and nodd, and keep moving. If its work, always be professional and bussiness focused. Do not respond to any emails, IM’s unless they are work related and then do not insert any personal comments. Its as if it never was>

]]> By: Isis http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150789 Isis Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:34:47 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150789 NML, wonderful post. :) I have the warning bells going off in my 'gut'. But I do the total opposite of what it's telling me. I mustn't love myself enough to trust it yet. lol NML, wonderful post. :)

I have the warning bells going off in my ‘gut’. But I do the total opposite of what it’s telling me. I mustn’t love myself enough to trust it yet. lol

]]> By: Fake It 'Til I Make It http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150753 Fake It 'Til I Make It Wed, 23 Apr 2008 05:34:19 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150753 I've really enjoyed reading your blog so far. I'd love to hear your thoughts about how you break with an EUM when you can't help but see him all the time as a result of work or school; or how you can modify the NCR for those situations. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog so far. I’d love to hear your thoughts about how you break with an EUM when you can’t help but see him all the time as a result of work or school; or how you can modify the NCR for those situations.

]]> By: FinallyOverIt http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150626 FinallyOverIt Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:52:42 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150626 I agree with Kim--another "spot on" post, NML! There is another term for our "gut" and that is "red flag"! We MUST listen to our gut because it is directly connected to paying attention to those red flags! I truly believe that our gut will never steer us in the wrong direction if we stay tuned in at all time, especially when we are getting to know a potential EUM. So many personal revelations here--How can we truly love another if we don't love ourselves? How can we trust another if we don't trust ourselves? I agree with Kim–another “spot on” post, NML! There is another term for our “gut” and that is “red flag”! We MUST listen to our gut because it is directly connected to paying attention to those red flags! I truly believe that our gut will never steer us in the wrong direction if we stay tuned in at all time, especially when we are getting to know a potential EUM. So many personal revelations here–How can we truly love another if we don’t love ourselves? How can we trust another if we don’t trust ourselves?

]]> By: Kim http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/comment-page-1/#comment-150616 Kim Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:50:44 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/your-gut-that-inner-voice/#comment-150616 NML - GREAT POST!! "You will trust your gut when you trust yourself". WOW! Powerful! My gut was saying ABORT ABORT from that very 1st meeting & I didn't follow it. Oh I acted like I was going to keep my options open but when he left the drama "victim" kicked in. The self fulfilling prophecy that I am never good enough & will never find a man to love me for who I am. Wanting love so much, wanting a relationship with someone after 8 years of singleness. "Better to put the fate of your relationship and you in someone elses hands than entrust yourself with that responsibility, eh"? WOW AGAIN! I have learned so much from you! Thx again! NML – GREAT POST!!
“You will trust your gut when you trust yourself”. WOW! Powerful! My gut was saying ABORT ABORT from that very 1st meeting & I didn’t follow it. Oh I acted like I was going to keep my options open but when he left the drama “victim” kicked in. The self fulfilling prophecy that I am never good enough & will never find a man to love me for who I am. Wanting love so much, wanting a relationship with someone after 8 years of singleness.
“Better to put the fate of your relationship and you in someone elses hands than entrust yourself with that responsibility, eh”? WOW AGAIN! I have learned so much from you! Thx again!

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