Want More Dating Success? Be Discerning By Adopting a Recruiter Mindset

A recruiter is someone whose job is to match qualified candidates with suitable open positions at organisations. If they put any ole candidate forward for the role, they do everyone a disservice (and damage their reputation), so they have to be discerning. Having what...

Authentic self? Real self? What On Earth Does It Mean To Be Yourself?

In a world proliferated with inspirational quotes and lots of encouragement to be ourselves, lots of us don’t know what this means. It’s why one of my most frequently asked questions is, What the hell does being yourself mean and look like? Being yourself...

Assert Yourself for You, Not for Approval or Control

Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives. If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove...

Low Expectations and Accepting the Bare Minimum in Relationships Fuels Self-Rejection

When you’ve been hurt and don’t feel safe in trusting others, it’s easy to rationalise that being in a bare-minimum relationship is the safe option. It’s like, How can I go wrong when I’m going out of my way to have low expectations? We figure...

From Emotional Shutdown to Self-Compassion: My Self-Care Evolution

Over the last two decades, I’ve learned to pay attention to signs from my body and my life that I need attention and/or that I need to ask for or seek additional help and support from safe sources. This attitude is a dramatic shift for me because for the 28 years...