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Picking and choosing our battles

An acquaintance frequently complained about their partner and their almighty rows over everything from using the ‘good towels’, forgetting to take the bins out, whose way was the ‘right’ way to do things, to how one or the other hadn’t...

The trouble with blending in

The moment that we seek to blend in or to appeal to the other party in an effort to be who we imagine would be the ‘right’ person for them, we’ve just blocked a loving relationship. Something we forget when we discard who we are is that by blending in to be like...

Giving to get along

People-pleasing means that sometimes, possibly often, we confuse compromising ourselves and avoiding conflict with ‘giving’. In fact, much of what we regard as ‘keeping the peace’ equates to destroying our inner peace. Giving is the free...

Boundaries and the messages contained in discomfort

When you’re out of alignment with your values and needs, the discomfort you experience is an alert. It’s letting you know something about your boundaries, what is going on, and what potentially needs to happen. You’re being asked to do something...

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