I believe that you can pretty much divide men into three camps: Nice Guys, Bad Boys and Mr Unavailables, but many women talk about ‘average men’, usually with disdain. Average by its very nature implies middle of the road, nothing special and to many women, it’s not a very attractive prospect. Combined with the fact that Bad Boys and Mr Unavailables are still a more attractive prospect for most women, and bingo, you get screwed-up-central. But is average really that bad and who is the ‘average’ guy?
If you look up ‘average’ in a Thesaurus you get some of the following:
Standard; regular; normal; usual; typical; common; middling; run of the mill; ordinary
At a glance, most of these words will send a shudder through most women because there is this fear of ‘settling’ and that’s what being with a so-called average man implies. We’re so caught up in chasing fireworks, drama, The One, It, excitement, our visual of perfection, criteria on a master list and much more that it’s no wonder it is easy to cast off a perfectly nice guy in favour of going to the greener grass on the other side.
The reality is that most women wouldn’t know an average man if it slapped them in the face, but the term gets used to blanket cover men that aren’t deemed to be hot in the looks and personality department. If you’re calling someone average it’s because you’re looking at them from a superficial, shallow perspective. One woman’s ‘average’ man is another woman’s dreamboat.
Many women do however date average men because they think that they will be in control of the relationship and that he will appreciate her more. You’d think she was almost doing him a big favour. The logic behind a woman dating an average man for this purpose is that she thinks he’s average, he probably knows he’s average and will think that he’s hit the jackpot. By seemingly dating ‘beneath’ her instead of at her so-called level, she doesn’t have to put herself through the aggravation of experiencing what it is like to be with someone who just might expect more of her or piss her around. The average man isn’t supposed to expect anything. The so-called above average men spell heartbreak and commitment-phobia, not marriage, babies, commitment, togetherness, trust, love and care.
God help the so-called ‘average’ man that doesn’t fit into the pigeon hole that has been created for him by his woman because when he starts behaving like a lot of the pain in the arse men out there, the woman will jump all over everything that is average about him and wonder where everything went wrong. He’s wrecking the superiority complex.
But we foolishly forget that an average man is nonetheless a man, made up of 75% water and 25% penis and ego. Many men don’t want an ‘average’ woman either and will seek to effectively punch above their weight. Whatever they feel they lack in height, hair, personality, penis size, money, they do have uncanny confidence that allows them to make up their so-called shortfalls by bigging up something else. Thus the man suffering from short man syndrome, for example, will big up his personality and if he can, his wallet.
If a guy takes up with an above average woman (all subjective obviously), his ego will effectively boost him to his subjective vision of above average, and he will behave accordingly, hence in his mind, he is no longer average.
The comments and emails that I get everyday from many women show me that in spite of what we say about Nice Guys, Bad Boys and Mr Unavailables, most men are capable of picking up women and there doesn’t seem to be any man that is bad enough for a woman to ignore. But there are plenty that are good enough to ignore!
Nobody goes around saying ‘I want to be with someone average’ but the harsh reality is that we have or still continue to go out with average men. There are far more women pursuing Bad Boys and Mr Unavailables out there, than there are women chasing Nice Guys. Trust me! Today’s average man is your typical Bad Boy or your emotionally unavailable Mr Unavailable. That is fact. That is what most women are chasing whether they are in England or a remote island off Asia somewhere. They are the standard, regular, normal, usual, typical, common, middling, run of the mill, ordinary men that you are likely to be faced with out there in the dating world, because ultimately they can be. They literally have their pick of women and then some. There is no incentive for them to be any different and social messaging says that they are the men that will have more success with the ladies.
Ultimately the typical view of what an average man is, doesn’t mean anything and it’s about having an open mind and being happier within yourself so that you can welcome a good, quality, healthy relationship with someone far better than any of the assclowns you’ve been messing with! Remember, average is, as average does. Be above average and treat yourself good!
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