Checking out is a detachment tool used by both genders in uncomfortable dating scenarios. Physically, one is there, but mentally and emotionally, they have distanced themselves from the situation.
Sometimes, in the midst of an argument or conversation, in the middle of a date, you will notice that the other person is acting strangely. Your sixth sense is screaming but you don’t know exactly what it is. Most probably he’s checking out, out of the discussion, out of the situation, out of your life. At that particular moment he’s not that into you.
When a guy is into you, he leans towards you, looks into your face, his body hovers protectively over yours. If you look under the table, his feet lean towards you as he focuses all his energies on what you are saying. He may have an intense look of focus or concentration, it may be a direct stare that might freak you out, but don’t be alarmed…he really is digging you.
However, in one split second (we know how fickle men can be), his attention wanders, he starts fidgeting and looking around the room. He leans back in his chair, as far from you as he can get. He might be there physically, but mentally and emotionally, he’s gone.
When a guy is into you, he leans towards you, looks into your face, his body hovers protectively over yours. If you look under the table, his feet lean towards you as he focuses all his energies on what you are saying. He may have an intense look of focus or concentration, it may be a direct stare that might freak you out, but don’t be alarmed…he really is digging you.However, in one split second (), his attention wanders, he starts fidgeting and looking around the room. He leans back in his chair, as far from you as he can get. He might be there physically, but mentally and emotionally, he’s gone.
For some reason, most of the men that I’ve talked to about this don’t see anything wrong with it. Their defence is that brain waves float where they may, and they aren’t in control of their thought processes. Uhuh, yeah right. Guys have to understand that checking out is not cool, it’s RUDE! When you check out, you are telling me that what I’m saying is not important and you couldn’t care less. It has the same effectiveness of rudely walking away when someone is speaking to you. Only insufferable and uncouth boors even consider this a viable action.
The best thing about reading body language is that you will notice as soon as his mood changes or when he checks out. That way you can react appropriately…throw a bitch fit.
Ninety percent of human interaction is not through words, it’s through body language. That means by the time you actually manage to pin down what is bothering him verbally, he’s probably already given you a zillion clues that he’s not there.
Vixen writes at The Bad Girls Guide blog
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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