A circle of life is essential to every female on God’s green earth. This is your inner core group of friends. The people that are most important to you, the ones you MUST talk to pretty regularly, your fellow divas, your girls, your clique.

Every Dream Girl must have a Circle of Life. It’s a prerequisite that is as important as breathing. Research has shown that having even one close or best friend can improve and extend your life. So think how long and improved your life would be if you had 2 or 3?

I’ve come across several women that had never had a close female friend before. What’s up with that? Their response was that women are backbiters, back stabbers and gossips. So they stick to having close male friends. My response…guys can even be as vicious and sometimes way worse than women. Haven’t you seen Strip Search, Kept, Big Brother? Besides, there is so much you can learn from a female friend that you can’t from a man. He’s not going to understand the relationship between your broken heart and a quart of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. He doesn’t have the Sixth Sense and can’t help you intuitively sort through riffraff. He can’t help you pick out an outfit, or understand why you cried when Jerry Maguire said “You complete me.” Guys are good for alot of things, but they cannot be the sole elements of your circle of life.

The problem is not that women are inherantly evil, the problem is that you didn’t pick the right women to be your friends. I never have to worry about any of my Circle of Life friends doing me dirrty, stealing my man, or stabbing me in the back and twisting the knife. You don’t just elevate a casual acquaintance to bosom buddy level either. They have to work their way up there. And that is how you weed out the ‘tried and true, time tested and Mother approved’ best/close friend from everyone else.

Now according to an article in September’s Marie Claire, Dr. Jan Yager enumerated the 10 most important types of friends. Now I would list them all here, but I do have a life, so if you want to read more, just delve into her website. (Or into Marie Claire pg 264)

Anyway, as I read the article, under each section, I wrote down the friend who best fit the description under it. I am pleased to inform you all that I really do have 10 super great friends, all contributing to the enrichment of my life in a positive way.

It’s very important to have your Realistic friend, who grounds you and helps you stop building castles in the sky. Equally essential is the Nostalgia friend, someone that you grew up together to help you see where you have come from. You need your own pep squad, the Motivator who inspires you to keep trying, and the Nurturer who is there for you at all times. I cannot live without my Close friend, the one I confide my private feelings to without fear of repercussions, and my Best friend, who has been with me through everything, closer and more intimate than anyone else to me.

The Role Model is someone that I admire alot, who has shared her life experiences with me, and I want to be a strong woman like her (when I grow up). The Same Sex friend is at the same place that I am, a woman in search of everything life has to offer. My Male Friend happens to be the one guy that I ask all the “so why is He doing this” questions to, who helps me see the other perspective. The Casual friend is your girl who is always up for hanging out, you guys have fun together in numerous activities. You don’t delve into each other’s personal lives, you are just activity partners.

These are the people that are nearest and dearest to my heart. This is my circle of life. Without it, I am naught.

Bear in mind that when you do land a man, or hook up with Mr. Right4Me…don’t be the ungrateful heifer who jilts all her other friends to spend time with only him. This just smacks immaturity, it’s soooo high school. You still need to have your friends, they are the ones that help you live from one relationship to other, help you get through all the stages of your life. They are the ones that will help you identify the jerk-like qualities, and help you grieve once the guy is gone.

A Baaaad Girl knows that men come and go but friends are forever.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide

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