SICK OF BEING MISTAKEN FOR A DOORMAT
& READY TO MAKE A CHANGE?
You’re not alone in being a people pleaser but it doesn’t have to continue. If you’ve ever felt powerless, marginalised, invalidated, unrewarded, underappreciated, unheard, suppressed, taken advantage of or even abused to name but a few, these feelings are only going to go away when you take command of your life by owning your own and letting others own theirs.
It’s time for you to go on a People Pleasing Diet so that you can step up for your needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions instead of twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to please everyone in your quest to be “good enough” or even “perfect”.
WANT TO CHANGE BUT AFRAID OF BEING ABANDONED BY YOUR ENTOURAGE OF PEOPLE WHO BENEFIT FROM ALL OF YOUR PLEASING?
ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING CALLED “AGGRESSIVE” OR EVEN AN “ASSCLOWN”?
If the idea of speaking up, dealing with conflict and criticism, facing old hurts, not being perfect and ultimately being who you truly are (you without all of those ‘rules’) keeps you stuck in your pattern of pleasing, it can seem as if the sky will fall down or that you’ll end up living in Desertedville if you commit to being you.
My family wasn’t about to spontaneously combust into the Brady Bunch and I couldn’t spend the rest of my days trying to Jedi mind trick Mr Unavailables. I definitely could not expect people to care for, trust or respect me when I was not willing to show up and do these things for myself.
I’d put it on everyone else to “do the right thing” and I was tired of feeling shortchanged by all of these debts that I felt people owed for my pleasing ways.
The things I did in those weeks, months and the following years was me being on a People Pleasing Diet. I’m still on one today.
I’ve been sharing my experiences, observations and ideas on self-esteem, healthy relationships and decluttering excess emotional baggage for almost 10 years and have inspired and guided thousands of people to reclaim themselves.
So, what is The People Pleasing Diet?
This is my six-week online course that takes elements of the teachings of my flagship courses Build Your Self-Esteem and The Pattern Breaker but with a deep focus on demystifying the people pleasing habit with plenty of practical guidance on how to get in command of you and improve your sense of self, so that you stop making your life about pleasing and satisfying others in an attempt to win approval, validation, attention, and love.
The People Pleasing Diet restricts the amount of activities in your life that pertain to you suppressing your needs, expectations, desires, feelings, and opinions in order to please and satisfy others while also trying to avoid conflict, criticism, rejection, abandonment, and disappointment.
Gradually reducing these activities and introducing healthier habits enables you to strengthen your assertiveness muscles and get a clearer sense of who you are. The goal isn’t to eliminate your pleaser (in much the same way that you will always have an inner critic); it’s about reining in your pleaser so that you be and do things for healthy reasons.
Understanding what’s behind your “pleasing”, the true costs of your habits, as well as identifying and committing to the things you truly want to be, do, and feel, will empower you to have more command over you and to stop basing your life on other people’s opinions.
Uncovering limiting beliefs, identifying unproductive habits, shedding toxic connections, and cutting back on all that pleasing and seeking validation is an incredible weight off.
With people pleasing, it’s not so much about what you do but why you do it and when you get clear about how your motivations are setting you up for a fall and keeping you stuck in the past while you exhaust yourself on the disappointment cycle, continuing as is becomes increasingly unattractive.
If you want to stop feeling excessively emotionally reliant (codependent) on others, curbing your people pleasing is vital.
The People Pleasing Diet is a six-week online course featuring a mix of classes (read, watch, listen formats) as well as worksheets and workbooks for helping you gradually introduce habits that will help you balance up and ultimately reclaim you, all contained within a password protected site. There are more details below on the extras that are included.
GET READY FOR THE PEOPLE PLEASING DIET
Next Course: 12th June 2017
Full rate £129 (approx US$199 / EUR 175 – rate calculated at time of purchase).
Payment plans are available – you can pay for this course in two payments. If you are already a Baggage Reclaim School Student, book via the school site to get your student discount.
What’s included?
12-months access to The People Pleasing Diet ecourse on the password protected Baggage Reclaim School site plus options (where available) to download the material in the various formats (PDF, audio, video)
Optional access to the secret Facebook group of which I’m an active participant. This is an incredibly supportive atmosphere with students collaborating to help each other grow in self-awareness and self-knowledge.
Student discount which applies to the Baggage Reclaim Shop, other courses and future events.
Access to exclusive bonus material.
Got a question? Please email shop AT baggagereclaim DOT co DOT uk
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I’ve taken hundreds of people through my courses and a recurring theme of those who want to break unhealthy relationship patterns or who are just simply tired of the Groundhog Day but don’t know where to start, is that they have very little idea of how much of their lives are based on people pleasing. Once they shine a light on their habits and express more self-compassion for the thinking and experiences that have contributed to their choices, they feel more empowered to kick other habits that are keeping them loyal to old patterns.
I have shared elements of The People Pleasing Diet on the blog but this course goes deep with lots of step-by-step guidance. It takes a holistic approach by getting you to focus on engaging in healthier habits of self-care as well as getting you conscious, aware, and present. By improving your well-being in ways that are directly connected to any unhealthy relationships, it has a knock-on effect. You will start to like and respect the you that you’re putting out there and the quality of your relationships and choices will reflect this too.
The path to mutually fulfilling relationships and feeling more content within starts with making changes to your relationship with you.
Discover what people pleasing is, the origins of the habits, myths that keep you loyal to the habit such as, If you’re not pleasing, you’re not useful or loveable and Boundaries and standards are only for certain types of people, and tackle and release you from the natural fears that come up when embarking on adapting your habits.
Get honest about where you’re shortchanging you and looking for others to pay that debt, get clear about your rights as well as the rules that aren’t actual rules that are running your life, and begin releasing fear and healing the wounds that have contributed to this cycle of behaviour and thinking.
Apply practical tips and tools to help you navigate the typical situations that stress out the pleaser within you. Strengthen your assertiveness muscles and feel more authentic in your interactions.
Introduce self-soothing and other supporting habits that will help you increase self-compassion. Calm down your inner critic.
Uncover the real you that’s been waiting to be allowed out! Learn to breathe instead of holding your breath.
IT’S TIME FOR THE PEOPLE PLEASING DIET
Course Fee: £129 (Approx US$199 / EUR 175)
Book your place now
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[restab title=”Who should do PPD?”]Baggage Reclaim School ecourses are aimed at people who have a genuine desire to break free from unhealthy habits of thinking and behaviour that result in loss of self or not ever having known who they truly are, as well as those who have that sense of the past being on repeat. BR students tend to be action-orientated or want to learn how to be. They’re at that point where they’re willing to reflect, willing to learn, and willing to get uncomfortable… but in a good way. It’s the discomfort that comes from change. BR students come from all walks of life and are at different stages in their personal development.
The People Pleasing Diet will suit you if:
Dating akin to going out on auditions. You’re so busy trying to please that you never really get a sense of whether they’re the right person for you.
You have lost your way and stopped liking who you are in your quest to get “everyone” to like you.
You don’t think you’re “good enough” or are trapped in a cycle of perfectionism.
You keep trying to please that certain somebody into finally committing to you or just acting halfway decent.
You slip into a ‘child role’ by giving people you deem authorities (aka people who trigger that pleaser within and who reflect parents/caregivers attitudes and behaviours) the power to decide who you are and determine your happiness.
You give too much and repeatedly feel that your generosity is taken advantage of.
You’re super critical of you.
You like and in fact need to feel needed and have a pesky habit of trying to fix/heal/help/change others.
You fear abandonment sometimes before you’ve even met a person and sometimes even when you don’t actually like them all that much.
You suppress and repress your feelings, opinions, needs, expectations and wishes, and then get tipped over the edge and erupt and then feel bad and go back to suppressing and repressing.
You think it’s “bad” to express anger and tend to avoid conflict and criticism.
You have an allergy to saying NO. You might even think it’s “bad” or “wrong” to say no.
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How does online learning work?
Baggage Reclaim School is a private site (separate to baggagereclaim.com), which has a mix of learning content – written, audio, video, worksheets ‘selfsheets’, workbooks, ebooks etc. All you need to access the course material is a decent internet connection and an up-to-date browser like Firefox, Safari or Google Chrome.
Is there a set time when I need to sign in?
Nope. This is self-paced so show up whenever you like and read as much or as little as you like. This isn’t a live course because students are from all over the globe and of course have their own lives and schedules. Content is dripped out week by week so as not to overwhelm and unless otherwise specified, Monday is the day when new content is added. Access when it’s convenient to you. The only time there is ever a set time is if you want to attend a ‘live class’ and these account for less than 5% of the course and are an ‘extra’ that you’re not obliged to attend. They’re also recorded, so again, access at a time that is convenient to you. Each week, you will receive an email with an overview of the material that’s just been added.
How do I access my course material?
You will receive access to your course on the published start date. An email will explain how to access the school, the course materials and what to expect.
How do I interact with Natalie and fellow students?
The comments are open on most posts. There is a private and secret Facebook group (no one outside of the group can see what you post or even that you’re a member).
Will I be ‘graded’?
Erm, no. This is a learning environment but there’s no exams. This is about the journey not the destination.
Can you tell me more about what I can expect to find when I log in?
You should arrive at your course page. During your course you can watch videos, read course materials, view slide shows, listen to audio, download workbooks, worksheets and ebooks. You will be pointed to housekeeping tasks, you can check out any available bonus material, and if your course has started, you will be able to access that week’s module.
How do I get technical help?
There are guidelines for reporting technical issues over at Baggage Reclaim School – if you use these, issues are normally resolved in seconds and minutes. Information on how to do this is on the BR School site.
Will there be more courses?
Yes!
How often are courses offered?
The flagship courses will run 3-5 times a year. Self-study courses are instant access so run all year round.
Do I need special software to do this course?
No. What you do need is an up to date internet browser like Safari, Google Chrome or Firefox and a decent internet connection, especially if you’re watching videos or dialing in to a live class. Courses are compatible with PCs and Macs and can also be ready on most mobile devices. Most material is downloadable so you will need a PDF reader (one comes with your computer) like Preview or Adobe Acrobat and if you want to be able to type into files then you will need Pages/Word.
How long do I have access for?
You have 12 months access unless you are a lifetime access member.
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